Officers honored for finding man's penis

KC police officers honored for dedication, commitment

Police work means going beyond the training, performing tasks both heroic and extraordinary, Chief James Corwin told officers at an awards ceremony Tuesday.

• Racing a motorcycle after a confused elderly motorist driving in the wrong direction.
• Bailing thousands of gallons of water out of the department’s detention unit.
• Fishing a suicidal man’s dismembered penis out of his kitchen trash. It was successfully reattached.
• Three homicide detectives were also honored.

Comments

[Theresa M]

...um...huh...I am actually speechless on this one. I think I'll just sit back and see what my peeps have to say....(this is going to get crazy today) :)

[Dolphin Gal]

Why not put it in the recycle bin??? :-)

[Esq.]

Remember the old slang term for a detective? ( :

[CV]

If it was me no way the man would have gotten his part back!

[You're a mean drunk R2D2]

What a re-"Member"able experience!

[G]

Think these detectives got a "raise"?

[Vibiana]

Does this mean that John Wayne Bobbitt will have some competition for the sicko segment of the porn-watching population? LOL

[G]

They could do a movie together....."Two Heads Are Better Than None"

[aqua]

Bless this officer for the taking the matter into his hands.

If a bird in hand is worth two in the bush, what is penis in hand worth?

[G]

To the guy who's missing one, aqua, i'd say it's priceless.

[Brian H.]

Also among the honors should have been highest revenue generator through tickets. Maybe they could have one of those award pamphlets like kids get for school fundraisers. Or maybe just cash bonuses for highest revenue generated. At least they took time out of thier busy ticketing schedule to find the penis. That is above and beyond the call of duty. I wonder if the other officers now have "penis envy"?

[Theresa M]

lmao, brian! :)

[David]

...
Actually, I applaud these officers. I wouldn't want their job in the first place, and clearly some of them go beyond the minimum necessary requirements.

[lr]

I bet this guy was disappointed to get his used sausage back. Wonder if it had any condiments slathered on it discovered in the trash?

[Sandra]

Good thing he didn't toss it out when he cut it off. Some stray dog or cat would have probably run off with it.

[mike blur]

While I read this, I couldn't help but have that King Missile song go thru my head. (No pun intended, there....)

[Vandal]

It's a good thing those officers got recognized, otherwise they really would have gotten the...SHAFT.

[Nukesgt]

It would take a cop like Shaft to find a severed weenie. You know if it were the Army that found it there would have been Privates involved. Of course in Canada they need a "Mountie" to do the job.

[Bohica]

I think I would have pulled it out of the trash and thrown it in the garbage disposal "oops"!!!

People like that shouldn't have reproductive organs... they shouldn't be allowed to breed!!

[Alan]

Glad the police found his parts. Otherwise, they may have been charged with a missed-a-weiner.

[The Zipper]

The watch commanders generally know which officers are better at finding penis than others. Some men just have a knack for finding penis and I'm sure that these were the guys assigned to this job....Its reaaly no different than assigning the best at locating whores to the prostitution stings. The truth is that some guys will leap at the opportunity to "find" penis

[WSU Grad]

I bet it wasn't "hard" to find.

Was this the freak Carlos Mencia was "poking" fun at the other night on his show?

[MommaSack]

I have to admit, some of the comments on this blog are downright hilarious!! Thanks for the giggles...
P.S. Not comments on my name, please...I have heard them all...LOL

[Little John]

You know of course, when he found it he shouted, "Eurethra!"

[JC_in_KC]

The story is funny. What I find really amuzing is the fact that you all sit around poking fun at cops and dogging them out whenever possible. Yet you wonder why the police have little love for the community. With glorious examples like you, I would like the community either.

[The Zipper]

JC in KC---why don't you read your comments before you push the POST button?---it makes no sense at all

[E.P.]

I wonder if they posed for a picture with the evidence. This is the cutest thing I have ever found.

[t-bone]

that office must have been at the head of the class at the academy

[LANCE MCNACK]

WOW...I CAN EVEN SAY IT BACKWARDS.......WOW

[Rich Hill]

So, if you cut off your nose to spite your face, what was this guy trying to spite?

[Willerundi]

Good thing he didn't have a garbage disposal...

[John Boy]

Jeffrey Dahmer saiys...you gonna eat that ??

[Pam]

That would of been interesting listening to the dispatch on a scanner. Kind of like the guy who got his parts stuck in the filter of the swimming pool.

[jack]

Great reading. Great posts. Thanx.

[plattecohighschooler]

All I can say is ouch.

[DWR]

When they found the penis, were they working off of a tip?

[BF]

Do you know that when Lorena Bobbit threw her husband's weenie out the window it bounced off the windshield of an elderly couple's car behind her. Do you know what the woman said to her husband?

"Good lord Harry, did you see the size of that penis on that bug?"

[ScottyDoesn'tKnow]

I heard they took this guy to court for unlawful self-mutilation, but the judge took one look at it and threw it out for "lack of evidence!"

[Brian]

Snicker, chortle, snort...BF, that was freakin' hilarious.

...

:)

-B

[BS Steve]

wonder if he used a magnifying glass to find it? Good Lord I hope he used somethin other than his hand to pick it up.LOL

[BF]

Well, you know, by the time all the blood drained out, it probably just looked like a coctail weenie.

[Pam]

Wonder if he became suicidal before or after he lost his weenie. Talk about self induced sex change.

[PD]

hey rememebr the guy in Thailand ? his wife sliced his memebr off, threw it out the window, and it was swallowd up by duck !!!

[Pam]

I wonder what the officer's award will be shaped like?

[David]

The man was suicidal before he severed his penis? I would think it would be the other way around.

[lr]

Is he going to send the surgeon a Thank You card for reattaching?

[Barbea]

well ya know what they say if ya dont use it....... then you cut if iff and throw it away...... oh thats not how it go?!

[tom]

Cops can get "cocky" at times!

[kilta-k]

look out john madden!

[kansantonio]

No word on whether the unfortunate victim requested the officers to take the severed member to a local fast-food restraurant and "Biggie-size" it before reattachment?

[David]

lol

[tim s]

I guess that guy was in the "good hands" of the law....

makes one a bit apprehensive next time one hears "feet back and spread em"...

[Rod Luck]

Whoa nelly!.......I do hope the rewarded officer does not become cocky , or get a big head over this good fortune...

[Dr Ben Dover]

well at least the owner will always have a definitive scar for ID purposes...forget using his fingerprints..

[tubetails]

Will he have to be sent to a penile colony?

[Pam]

Isn't there a saying, "Play with it but don't talk to it."
Now we have weenie rage!

[Sticky]

I just hope they wore gloves when they dug that out.

[Sticky]

I wonder if they bagged that up in the evidence room before getting it back to him.

[Bill]

I wonder if there were coffee grounds on it?

[Sticky]

I can't imagine how that sounded on dispatch when the officers got the call.

[Sticky]

That's got to garauntee that he'll be coming up an inch shorter, at the least, now.

[KEN]

the cops name wasn't Dick was it???

cops can be cocky at times

[John Boy]

Cops name was probably Richard Head

[John Boy]

Or maybe Penis Cranium

[John Boy]

Or possibly Enos (Enos the Pxxxx)

[zavy]

And I thought he was just a computer hacker

[Jeff]

For the first time ever in one blog, every lame penis joke conceived.

[Pacman]

25 years down the road,,,,Gee Granpa, what did you get that award for....Well it went something like this....

[CruzningBye]

Snausages

Don't you mean limp penis joke Jeff?

[N]

maybe it wasnt worth finding...maybe he cut it off for a REASON!

[charlie]

So is the guy going to a mental hospital or a penal colony?

RI Guy Just visiting

[Sandra]

All I can say is police work may not pay much, but the tips are big.

[Sandra]

Just what are the penile codes for that county, anyway?

[Chase]

(Insert your own penis joke here). Nice.

[Kieran]

Look mom....there's a half-eaten McPenis Sandwich in the trash.

Then why can't they find my stolen car?

[Judi Rogers]

hysteresis gymnorhinal cabotage fibrohemorrhagic neurypnological thiasine misspend johannisberger
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