In honor of the final day of February, here are some of the more amusing dispatches I heard working nights this month. They're all from Kansas City:
Feb. 12 "In regards to the donkey running loose in the neighborhood...last seen northbound on Hardesty."
Feb. 18 "Christopher has locked himself in the bathroom, says he's scared for his life...getting ready to take some drugs that he says will set him free."
Feb. 24 "Be advised that one of the parties that's sitting on the air conditioner is now playing with himself."
Feb. 26 "It's involving a white male in a gold van, naked, with tennis shoes on, running around."
Feb. 28 "It's supposed to be a white male who's elderly. He's exposing himself at the bus stop."
-- Sara Shepherd