Virginia police say a burglar broke into a Suffolk home and, instead of ransacking the joint, spent a few comfortable hours eating snacks and watching porn. He tried to use the victim's cellphone, which was actually an old one that had a dead battery and didn't have service. The burglar apparently searched through the house to find a charger and, once it was ready, tried to dial out.
The phone didn't make calls. But it did take pictures. The burglar took a self-portrait ... which police have plastered over the local news.
Hat Tip: Many thanks, kybo61!