Man accused of marrying 12-year-old girl, Wis. authorities say

This all originated in a divorce case earlier this year in Wisconsin: A woman testified that she'd been sold into marriage at age 12. A bailiff told police, and charges were eventually brought against the man. (The story doesn't say how old she is now, or how old he was then -- but he was apparently an adult.) The man, who is Hmong-American, is accused of sexual assault, including sexual assault of a child.

One point the defense is raising: There's a Hmong tradition where people's birthdays aren't written down, so it might not be clear how old the wife is.

The woman's mother testified through an interpreter that her family got $3,000 from Lor, money used to hold the wedding celebration and "so we would be kind enough as parents not to report this."

"I don't want anyone to think we sold our daughter," the woman testified. "We just wanted him to marry her and love her."

Comments

[PTBitte]

That's pretty young. Even in Kansas you must be 16 (or have a judge's consent). A couple years ago this was in the news "14 Year Old Married 22 Year Old! Although the boy is now serving time (in Iowa) for having sex with a minor, this prompted Kansas officials to decide it was time to set a minimum marriage age." The couple came across the border to KS and married with the consent of the girl's mother.

[kybo61]

My reaction was, what a survivor. She went through this ordeal for all these years had four kids while still a child herself and graduated second in her high school class! Wow. And despite the cultural pressures and years of abuse she eventually had the courage to divorce him. I wish her the best and hope she has a long & happy life.

[Steven Vang]

For sure, in the Hmong community, Hmong men buy their wives. Hmong men must pay $5000.00 per wife in the USA plus other expensive. Read more about Hmong at suabhmongradio.com. This is a Hmong culture and custom. The mainstream should work with Hmong community to educate them to adjust to the law instead of making money out of it. Hmong use this traditional for centuries and Hmong are the first generation to start a new life in the USA after USA CIA recriuted Hmong to help USA fight during the Vietnam war. It is a culture transition that USA law should recogninzed to help instead of making false statements through out news paper this and that.

[Damon]

Not too odd within the Hmong community.

I wonder if cases like this will be on the rise, as it is such a word of mouth culture, and a lot of the girls i grew up with, didn't necessarily want to be married...at least after it was all said and done.... does buyers regret last forever with marriages?

[Shoua]

bride price is part of hmong culture. other cultures have bride price or dowries too for weddings. it's not just a hmong thing, and it's not that big a deal.

[jake]

I think this can not change over night. We can slowly change this but this is our tradition, but it falls down to if the girl is willing to traditionally marry the guy not by force. Americans may call this sexual asault, but it's not. I was 13 when I was married to my ex husband. We were married for 17yrs and I'm now 30 and we both decided to part after 17yrs. I was closer to my husbands mother and father and family, for they are my family and my clan at that time..my family are just like guests to me..now if you talk about sexual assault, focus on the hmong men who are 30-60 yrs of age and are married with wife and kids but are marrying 12-18 yr old girl from overseas..16yr old with a 60yrs old..bring them to us..that gross...for god sake that is like their daughter..alot of hmong men and im pretty sure other ethnicity is going overseas for those young girls..this needs to stop..i wish someone would do something about this..i've heard professors, doctors, you name going over seas for young girls then they come back and divorce their wife because they got someone younger..

[gundy,]

i think she's being abuse. If not, all thing should be just fine. one way or the other. If she think that she is perfect in marriage too, all little thing should be clear in matter of time. Possible she might have affair with other man too.

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"My reaction was, what a survivor."
Posted by: kybo61

What? Just because you don't understand another culture doesn't mean that it's wrong.

[casey]

this is not new and surprise to me. this woman was happy and willing to married to this man at the time. now that the marriage ain't going well or the way she wants. things are getting ugly because she wants to divorce him.

on the other hand, America justic system is corrupting. After all, it does take two take tingle.

[HmongMan]

To clarify that the dowry paying to a bride's parent is not the price of a girl. We don't buy them, and we don't own them. If we have to buy them, we will never afford it. $5,000.00 is probably less than the price of diapers and formula to raise a kid. No one can buy life, so don't be think that Hmong in America or around the World sell their daughters.

[HmongMan]

Based on the article, she married him willingly. After all these years she has been with her husband, she would not mention anything about being rape to the authorities. Nothing was wrong when things went well. All the sudden, the guy came back from Laos (fearful for leaving her), there was something wrong, and she filed for divorce.

I have to say that if the guy is convicted and put in jail, the justice system is flaw.

[Nemesis]

"it does take two take tingle."

Say What?? Lol!

[sammm]

Hmong's culture and tradition has more meaning them what we see outside. This girl is cheating on her husband and also shame to her parents.

[James]

I agree with Shoua, the OG went back to married young girls, many underage from oversea is so wrong. It's not hard to stop these kind of crime if people want to, but nobody care.

[Richard]

In my opinion, I do not agree to the law in the US. Because cultures of the Hmong is difference from the Americans. We can not say Hmong are selling their daughters. This tradition is belonged to the Hmong not the Americans and it had been with the Hmong longer than Jessus Christ was born. If you want to change the Hmong culture, you will need to go back to the Babylon times and start from there. Our ancestors, Laj Lwg and Puj rhwv mim set this marriage law for us, Hmong. Not the Americans. That time the Americans were still live with the stone man time.If to compare, the Americans have more adultry and divorce rate than the Hmongs. We the Hmong, in marriage, we have our own law and tradition to pratice with. We do not heart our daughter in-law. And daughter inlaw has no complaint at first. But if thing goes wrong in relationship, then voices were heard. this is not the marriage causes but something changes this girl's mind. Why did she complaint to the Authority at first day of the marriage?

Something must go wrong in her mind. I just can't believe it. Why she waits for twenty some years to report the complain. if the law in the US said this man is guilty and assault this girl, this law must be out of date. And I believe that the law must look into both of these couple's complains. The law must looks into the main cause why the man always murders the woman. Who heart whom most? and why most crimes in this country are related to man and woman? The answer is simple. Too much freedom for women than men. From now on, I am going to tell the lady who complain about Hmong men going oversea to marry young Hmong girls. Because your Hmong women are using the law in this country to abuse us men. And you girl are cheating your husbands and crying for the authority to come and handcuff your sweet husbands. You girl forget Hmong culture. Not all Hmong Men are bad hushands so you girls must honor your own culture that has long belong to you. American culture is only worthy for them not you Hmong women. Don't forget your own kind. This the one will tell who you are.

So no more argue if you are truely Hmong blood.

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[Hmoobgurl]

most of you were stating that why didn't she report it to the police 20 yrs ago? Well, if you were in her shoes, will you report it too? Don't even dare to say yes cause I know you won't. It's easy saying it now then back then. I'm not doubting it that this is part of the Hmong cultures, but you all got to understand that we don't live in Laos anymore. We now lived in the United States and we have to go by their laws. If you, yourself haven't really experience this before, you will never understand how it feels like to be forced to be doing something you don't want to do. I do believed that some women are luckyier than others when it comes to a forced marriage, but other women suffered greatly without telling nobody. I feel sorry for those who had suffered all this alone without telling no one. We are in the land of freedom now, and thank God that our children wouldn't have to face this again. I'm not on either side, but I belived that she has suffered enough.

[Don't creat a bad name for Hmong people b/c of lie]

I cannot speak for others but I can speak for myself. My wife cheated on because we were married at a young age and she has never have the opportunity to sleep with other man before. She start going to night club and drink with her friends often and end up sleeping around with a lot of guys. She want to re-live her youth as a mother with four kids. We got divorce and I am remarried but when she found out that I remarried and move on with my life. She make up lied that I abuse her and rape her. Well, we all who othe police going to believe. Every story is different but most Hmong young couple today share a similar story that we were married at a early age. It was ok yesterday then you think it is not ok today because the law is on your side. Then you going to take matter to your own hand. I think that is wrong for Hmong women to lied to the laws.

[You Don't Know Me]

Since the article is so vague, maybe the marriage was mutual. The only problem could just be the age difference, since 18+ being with 16 under is illegal. I think those involved in the case are blowing it out of protortion for political/career advancment, especially the prosecutor and judge. However, I do think that the practice of paying the bride's parent for her hand should be abolished. Moreover, why is the Hmong community leaders, so they claimed themselve to be, always trying to come up with laws of their own to impose on the Hmong community when there's already a constitution here in the U.S. I'm Hmong, and I always hear of these ridiculous laws or rules that the elders and so called leaders made. The worst part is that these so called Hmong laws/rules does not make life any easier for the Hmong people, especailly the new, younger generations. It actually destroy families and relationships. It even makes being Hmong difficult.

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