Some headlines just write themselves

From the Northwest Florida Daily News:

Buttocks hiding fails again

Man planned to destroy large mosque outside Detroit, police allege

A California man is accused of going to a Detroit suburb with plans to blow up one of the biggest mosques in the United States. I'm not sure how powerful the explosion would've been: Police say he was carrying an "undisclosed" amount of class-C fireworks.

'Jihad Jane' to plead guilty, lawyer says

Colleen LaRose, a Philadelphia woman who was accused of plotting terrorism online, is going to plead guilty, her attorney says. She was allegedly tied to a plot against a Swedish cartoonist. Another U.S. woman -- Jamie Ramirez, who grew up in the Kansas City area -- is going to stand trial in May.

Photo via AP and the SITE Intelligence Group

Settlements reached in two sex-abuse cases with local ties

From Judy Thomas:

Two sexual abuse lawsuits, one involving a former Kansas City area Catholic priest and another filed against a church in western Missouri, have been settled.

The Archdiocese of San Antonio announced that it had settled a lawsuit against the Rev. John M. Fiala for nearly $1 million. A lawsuit against New Life Bible Church in St. Joseph was settled for an undisclosed amount.

Fiala was charged last year with solicitation to commit capital murder after authorities said he tried to hire a hit man to kill the teenage boy who accused him. He is being held in a Dallas County jail on $800,000 bond.

'It rubs the lotion on its skin ...'

From the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Twenty-nine northwest Georgia inmates were forced to rub cream on their bodies and stand in their cells naked for 12 hours, according to federal lawsuit.

Teen gets broken leg after being mistaken for thief, police say

A Connecticut man is accused of hitting a teenager with his car because he thought the boy had stolen his girlfriend's purse. As it turns out, police say, the boy didn't do it. He suffered a broken leg.

ATF warns against proposed budget cut

The White House's budget proposal calls for a 3.6 percent reduction in ATF funding, and the bureau says it would gut the its gun-running initiative along the Mexican border. From the Washington Post's story:

"ATF is the ugly stepchild of every administration," said Jim Cavanaugh, a former senior ATF official who retired last year after 30 years. "It would really handicap the ATF.

"It's a small agency and it's a lean machine. There are not a lot of agents and inspectors. There is not a lot of fat. With ATF, it would be an amputation."

Just wait 'til your father gets home I call the police and get you arrested

When her 18-year-old son smacked his little brother, a Florida woman did what any responsible parent would do and called the police, who arrested him.

Monday's Open Thread

Welcome back to the Open Thread, our blog's space for off-topic comments and discussion. If you've seen an interesting story somewhere else, feel free to post a link below.

As always, please follow our standard rules: Please sign your comments, and please avoid profanity, as well as racially and sexually abusive language. And when you sign your comments, please use only one nickname. If you need to reach me, please email jhart@kcstar.com. Thanks again, and have a great day!

KC man hurt fighting home invaders

From Brad Cooper: A residential robbery in Kansas City this morning left a man seriously injured when he tried to fend off the suspects.

With a name like 'Crazy Dave' ...

What I like about this is how he called HIMSELF "Crazy Dave."

KCTV: Burglaries spike in Prairie Village

They've had about 23 in the past two months, which is more than normal. The bad guys seem to be targeting homes with flat-screen TVs that can be seen from the street.

School-bus driver gets 15 days for running over teenage boy

The sentence includes two years of probation and 200 hours of community service. The victim, 16-year-old Mason Adams, was hit when the driver, Tracey Jones, rounded the corner and didn't yield the right-of-way. Prosecutors said she also failed to properly defog her windows.

Myth busted? Do police officers really like doughnuts?

KCPD had a pretty clever video addressing the question this week.

Suspect convicted in waitress' decades-old murder in Columbia

A Columbia jury has convicted Johnny Wright in the 1976 murder of Rebecca Doisy, a waitress and former Mizzou student. Wright had been in hiding, living under an assumed name in Georgia, where he raised a family. He wasn't caught until 2009, when he used his real name for a job application.

Fla. mom says she killed children for being 'mouthy,' police allege

A Tampa woman is accused of killing her son on the way to soccer practice, and then coming home to murder her daughter, who was working on a computer. The alleged motive?

Julie Schenecker left a note detailing her plans to kill her disrespectful children and then herself, saying "they talked back and were mouthy and that she was going to take care of it," McElroy said. She provided the same motive to police who interviewed her.

Fatal stabbing on North 13th in KCK

A man in his 40s was fatally stabbed about 8:50 p.m. Friday in the 1900 block of North 13th, KCK police say. One person was in custody last night.

Open Thread, Weekend Edition

Welcome back to the Open Thread, our blog's space for off-topic comments and discussion. If you've seen an interesting story somewhere else, feel free to post a link below.

As always, please follow our standard rules: Please sign your comments, and please avoid profanity, as well as racially and sexually abusive language. And when you sign your comments, please use only one nickname. If you need to reach me, please email jhart@kcstar.com. Thanks again, and have a great day!

Image via icanhascheezburger.com!

School police officer lied about getting shot, L.A. authorities allege

A school police officer in Los Angeles is accused of lying after he told police that someone else had shot him in the chest while he was on patrol. (They're not saying how, exactly, he received the wound.)

5 arrested in WikiLeaks-related cyberattack investigation

British authorities have arrested five people for allegedly participating in a denial-of-service attack against PayPal, Visa and Mastercard. The attack was allegedly in retribution for those companies refusing to facilitate donations to WikiLeaks. Several other countries are investigating, too. The U.S. has served about 40 warrants in connection with the case.

Another guilty plea in KU ticket scheme

From Mark Morris: A former University of Kansas athletic department consultant pleaded guilty in federal court today to conspiring to steal millions of dollars worth of sports tickets.

Suspect: I'm selling this cocaine to help my grandmother

Story is from Florida.

'Dr. Phil' guest faces charges

An Alaska woman was charged after she went on the "Dr. Phil" show to say that she allegedly disciplines her adopted Russian son by feeding him hot sauce and making him take cold showers. The show somehow made its way to Russia, where -- for some unknown reason -- people had a problem with this.

Sadly, Dr. Phil is still free.

If you love someone, set them free keep them locked in your basement

A Brazilian man is accused of keeping his mentally ill wife locked in their cellar for eight years. He says he did it for her safety, so she wouldn't wander off. Also arrested? The man's girlfriend.

Jack Frost, Crimefighter

A thief stole an Oklahoma woman's truck after she left it running so it could warm up, but his plan backfired, the Tulsa World reports. There was still so much frost on the windows that he wrecked.