When I heard that Warren Jeffs was acting as his own lawyer in his sexual-assault case, I sort of went, "meh." Big mistake on my part.
Jeffs reportedly read a statement from God warning that prosecutors were totally going to get sick and die if they didn't stop prosecuting him. Take it away, AP:
Jeffs then said he had no choice but to read a statement from God. Walther dismissed the jury and allowed him to read it. "I, the Lord God of heaven," Jeffs read, "call upon the court to cease this open prosecution against my pure, holy way."
If the trial continues, the statement said, "I will send a scourge upon the counties of prosecutorial zeal to make humbled by sickness and death."
AP Photo/San Angelo Standard-Times, Patrick Dove

