Former inmates pleads guilty to being fake lawyer, stealing “clients” money

Jeffrey Tedrick, 46, admitted that while he was a Missouri inmate, he convinced others that he was a disbarred corporate lawyer and ran a bogus legal career behind bars.

The truth was he was never held a law license. He was just a con artist claiming to have worked for Longhorn Steakhouse chain.

Assistant U.S. Attorney Matt Schelp said the closest Tedrick got to Longhorn might have been washing dishes.

Hat Tip: cripjak

| Bob Cronkleton

Woman escapes porn-watching burglar

He broke in, watched porn, cut cords on appliances, placed knives throughout the house and waited for her to come home.

| Sara Shepherd

Drug addict gets 4 months in jail for stealing charity box in community mourning soldier's death

William Fisher was caught emptying the loose coins from the Poppy Appeal collection box in a store in Irlam, Salford, U.K. This was just weeks after the community mourned the loss of a soldier in Afghanistan.

From the Daily Mail:

Brian Massey, vice president of the British Legion for Greater Manchester, which has been organizing commemorations for Remembrance Sunday this weekend, said the theft had left him feeling very annoyed and upset as the money was meant for current and ex-servicemen that served their country.

Hat tip to cripjak

| Bob Cronkelton

When burglarizing house, best not to leave homework behind

Two 15-year-old Woonsocket (R.I.) High School students skipped class to burglarize a nearby home.

They made it easy for police to solve the crime. One of the students dropped his homework as they grabbed their backpacks and headed back to class

The boy’s name on the paperwork was familiar to the officers.

Hat tip to cripjak

|Bob Cronkleton

Vegas hookers make $2 million off "trick rolls"

Today's vocabulary word is "trick roll" -- which is when a prostitute robs a john. Sometimes, it's very basic -- they take off with a watch or wallet while the customer is in the shower. But it can be more elaborate. They'll watch a john use his ATM card, memorize the digits, then "distract" him while an accomplice empties his account. Las Vegas police assign two detectives who do nothing BUT trick-roll cases. The Las Vegas Sun explains here.

What's interesting is why there's a big increase this year: Police think that, because tourism is down, there's less demand for hookers, so prices drop. But their pimps continue to set a high "profit target." To make ends meet, more hookers are stealing, too.

"Despondent Canadian" flies stolen plane to Mo.

And he's getting two years in prison for doing so. You might remember this case from April, when Adam Dylan Leon reportedly stole a Cessna in Ontario and flew across the border, eventually landing near Ellsinore, Mo. The troopers caught him at a local store, trying to buy a drink. Leon, who's suffered from severe depression since his parents died in a car wreck, apparently hoped to die in a plane crash. He's getting a little more time than normal because so many cities had to go on alert.

Alleged criminal genius works at Ga. convenience store, police say

It must be hard work coming up with ingenious criminal schemes, like stealing $3,000 from your workplace and faking a robbery to cover it up. That's probably why he looks so tired.

Report: Assistant D.A. accused of shoplifting

From an Overland Park grocery store. KCTV has the details here.

Hat Tip: Many thanks, JUNGLE JIM!

The case of the missing Yorkie

The Boston Globe has a nice story about a woman who refused to give up on her missing dog -- and how she had to threaten to call the cops on a city official so she could get her pet back.

"The Home Depot of stolen property"

From Glenn Rice: Clay County authorities today discovered acres of stolen items including pickups, light farm equipment, vehicles and six railroad containers, one of which was filled with unopened appliances at a residence in Missouri City.

Sheriff Bob Boydston called the scene, “the Home Depot of stolen property.” A woman at the residence was arrested and deputies are guarding the property overnight. They also are looking for a man seen fleeing the property shortly after they arrived.

Do you recognize this man?

From KCPD: Detectives are attempting to identify the person in the attached surveillance photos. He is a person of interest in regard to thefts of furniture from the lobby of an apartment building near the Country Club Plaza. The thefts are believed to have occurred between 10/14/09 and 10/18/09. Anyone who may know his identity is asked to call the TIPS Hotline at 816.474.8477.

More after the jump ...

The sign said long-haired freaky people need not apply

From AP: In this photo provided by the Bedford County, Pa. District Attorney's Office, Evelyn Border is seen holding a sign in front of the Bedford County courthouse in Bedford, Pa. Tuesday Nov. 3, 2009.

Bedford County District Attorney Bill Higgins says in exchange for Border and her daughter, Tina Griekspoor, both of Bedford, agreeing to hold the signs, he'll ask for probation instead of jail when they plead guilty. The mother and daughter will be outside the court for forty-one-and-a-half hours, until 1:30 p.m. Tuesday. Higgins says they swiped a gift card which a girl set on a shelf while a WalMart employee helped her.

Thief steals $450K in feminine-hygiene products in Ark.

Your punchline here ...

No prison for transsexual burglar because she's had a "rotten life," judge says

Story is from the U.K.

Hat Tip: Many thanks, cripjak!

Prediction: Copper thefts will make a comeback

Because the price of copper has rebounded, the Washington Post reports.

Alaska dad blew kids' college money on Vegas stripper, police say

All told, about $36K was stolen, authorities say -- about $12K from the college funds, the rest from savings accounts that his wife set up.

Footprints helped convict burglar, Platte County prosecutor says

A man named John Weaver has been sentenced to nine years for a burglary in Tracy, Mo., Platte County prosecutors say. Weaver pleaded guilty the other day. The crime itself happened back in January 2007 at an auto business. An employee interrupted the theft, causing two men to flee. (One actually went through a plate-glass window.) The prosecutor says that one of them left shoe prints on a poster, which police used to tie Weaver to the crime scene.

Burglar leaves his wallet at crime scene, Ill. cops say

I've actually seen a few like this one. It seems like a pretty obvious thing to check before you leave -- unless of course, you're planting the wallet to incriminate somebody else.

Hat Tip: Many thanks, cripjak!

Homeless man hides stolen ferret in his pants, police say

In Jacksonville Beach, a homeless man shoplifted a ferret from a store and, when someone confronted him about the theft, used the ferret as a weapon, the authorities allege.

God told me to steal this Dodge Charger

Suspect is in custody in Kentucky. Reached for comment, the Almighty said, "No, no. He misheard me. I told him to 'heal that old codger.'"

A not-so-brilliant disguise

In Carroll, Iowa, two men -- Matthew Allan McNelly and Joey Lee Miller -- are accused of burglarizing an apartment. Instead of wearing masks, police say, the men apparently drew on their faces with permanent marker. Police say they had no trouble identifying the suspects when they stopped the men's car.

Teens used celebrity Web sites to burglarize stars' homes, L.A. cops say

A group of four teenage girls is accused of burglarizing the homes of Orlando Bloom, Paris Hilton and other celebrities -- and they allegedly used celebrity sites, paparazzi photos and other entertainment news to track their comings-and-goings. Then they struck while the stars were out of town or partying, police allege.

Drunk burglar steals Sprite, creampuffs at KU, police say

In Lawrence, police are searching for a man who allegedly got drunk, broke into the Wilna Crawford Community Center and stole $10 worth of creampuffs and $2 worth of Sprite. An employee was actually there at the time, and the suspect actually handed over his driver's license before running off. (Again, he must have been pretty drunk.)

One-legged man suspected in theft of one shoe

Profiling!

Woman pretends to be dog to scare off burglar, Ga. cops say

This is hilarious. Courtesy of the Athens paper ...

When a suspicious man tried turning the woman's door knob, she got on the floor and began scratching at the door and acting like a large dog, police said, though what dog-like behaviors she specifically mimicked remains unknown.