Goat kills man

Robert H. Boardman of Port Angeles, Wash., was killed Saturday while trying to shoo away a mountain goat on a trail in the Olympic National Park.

Rangers found and killed the animal.

Hat tip to Keith G. in P.V.

| Bob Cronkleton

War of words erupt between church, strip club

The Associated Press

| Bob Cronkleton

Strippers protest outside Ohio church

To answer your questions, no, it's not a crime, and yes, there are pictures. The strippers protested outside the Warsaw, Ohio, church as turnabout after the church has video-taped the license plates of the club's customers and posted that information online for the past four years. Best Part:

The first few weeks, Dunfee piped the sermon outside. But that "agitated" them, he said, and made them dance in the streets.

(AP Photo/Columbus Dispatch, Kyle Robertson)

Cheerleading isn't a sport, judge rules

At least not when it comes to Title IX. (Not a crime, just an interesting case.)

Not remotely crime-related

Not remotely crime-related, unless you've got a gunshot wound ... but MSNBC reports on two studies that say you're more likely to die if you go into the hospital during July. Ditto if you're admitted to the intensive-care unit on a weekend.

Mom: Florida boy needs therapy after reading manga

Not remotely crime-related, but it's weird enough that I thought you might appreciate it: A Florida mom says her son has required "extensive therapy" after he brought home manga from the public library.

Not remotely crime-related

In St. Louis, scientists are starting to investigate one of mankind's most perplexing questions: How is Ozzy Osbourne still alive?

Why tinkering and fireworks don't mix

I know Raytown doesn't allow fireworks in their parks, but I'm not sure if these guys were doing anything illegal ...

'If I was your pimp ... '

A British schoolteacher has been fired after allegedly making inappropriate comments at the all-girls school where he worked. Snip:

After two teenage girls raised the subject of prostitutes with Lumsden , he told them: "If I was your pimp and had your name and number, then I would be very rich."

Not remotely crime-related, but still ...

Hat Tip: Many thanks, cripjak!

Not remotely crime-related

Recently, we linked to a story about three California teenagers who got into trouble when they wore U.S. flag T-shirts to school -- on Cinco de Mayo. (A school administrator was worried about the possibility of fights breaking out, Fox News notes.) There is now, naturally, a lawsuit.

JOCO Sheriff deputies to look for tips

From the Johnson County Sheriff:

Deputies and military personnel from 11:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. on Saturday will ask for tips to raise money for the Special Olympics instead of tips to catch a bad guy in the Tip-A-Cop fundraiser.

They will be at the Texas Roadhouse restaurant, 11973 S.Strang Line Rd in Olathe. Johnson County Sheriff’s deputies will don aprons and assist servers. In return tips or donations received by the deputies for their wait service will be donated for local Special Olympians.

Special Olympians will be on hand during this event and there will also be a drawing for a special Royals gift basket including four tickets to a game.

| Bob Cronkleton

Not remotely crime-related

Man wins Best Mustache contest. And boy, does he deserve it. The photo after the link will enchant you or, alternately, haunt your very dreams.

Not remotely crime-related

I'm pushing the Shenanigans button on this one, but wanted to pass it along, regardless. From Britain's Daily Mail:

Barmaid, 22, who didn't know she was pregnant gives birth on the toilet

Banker was fired for being too sexy, lawsuit claims

Not remotely crime-related, just an interesting case ...

Hat Tip: Many thanks, cripjak!

Not remotely crime-related

An Omaha woman has a cleaning service that offers to do housework while topless or fully nude. (Or in "exotic professional attire.") All legal, the World-Herald reports. KETV interviewed one woman who got a flyer for the service:

“You know, some wife is going to come home from work one day and see a cleaning service there and it ain’t going to be nice,” said Ellis.

VIDEO: If I had a hammer ...

... I would help this guy break the dang window. Crime -- even simulated crime -- is harder than it looks.

A different kind of 'special memory'

This one's not a crime, just amusing: A second-grade teacher made a photo CD for all of the kids in her class. Unfortunately, one girl accidentally got a porngraphic DVD from the teacher's husband's collection.

Not remotely crime-related

The family of a transplant patient is suing after he died from uterine cancer -- despite the handicap of not having a uterus -- that developed from a donated kidney.

Hat Tip: Many thanks, John Boy!

Teen sues to stop prayer at graduation

A teenager in Greenwood, Ind., won a lawsuit to stop a prayer from being included in his high school's graduation ceremony, and he's caught a lot of flak from other students. The school had let the class vote whether they wanted to have an official prayer. Most voted for it. But Eric Workman, who's also the valedictorian and a Christian, argued the administrators were basically asking the teens if they wanted to break the law.

As a result, the school administrators say they aren't going to screen student speeches this year, which they normally do. (Profane language and politically charged themes will be OK, they note.) So one of the students will probably read a prayer during their time. One teen told the Indy Channel that "Someone is going to sneeze, and everyone says, 'God bless you,' in order to get back at Eric Workman."

Again, NOT a crime story -- just an interesting court case.

Report: Boy, 2, has two-pack-a-day habit

Not a crime in Sumatra, though I'm not sure about the United States. Dad's take:

"He looks pretty healthy to me. I don't see the problem," he said.

Not remotely crime-related

In Oshkosh, Wis., a military veteran and his wife are being told to remove a U.S. flag hanging in their window, or they'll be evicted. Their apartment complex's management says they bar display of all flags, political signs, religious symbols, etc., so that everyone has a "a comfortable and consistent living environment."

Ex-waitress sues Hooters

She says they put her on probation and told her to lose weight. The restaurant flatly denies the claim. She's 5 feet 8 and weighs 132 pounds. (Not a crime story, just an interesting case.)

Dance Party Friday

Bob Cronkleton sent this to me, so if your brain melts or you experience some kind of fit while watching "Kittens in Autotune," your lawsuit needs to name him as the defendant. The sole defendant.

VIDEO: Man advertises wife's alleged affair

South Carolina man spray-paints his mobile home with "special messages" after accusing his wife of cheating on him:

"All Welcome Except Cheaters Pull N 4 Pics" was scrawled in white on one brown cardboard sign.

The writing on the mobile home reads: "Lying Cheating No Good Wife Will Lose N Divorce."

Not remotely crime-related

A Florida woman has sued the state lottery after her ticket showed that she'd won $500,000 -- and the lottery refused to pay, saying it was a misprint. Shenanigans, I say.