Not remotely crime-related

"Bohemian Rhapsody," as interpreted by the Muppets. I admire how they don't let little things, like not knowing any of the words, stop them.

Quote of the day

"I put my kids out there to every pedophile on the planet and they never got paid for it."

-- Guess who ...

Quote of the day

Apparently, there are perks that come with saving an entire plane full of people.

"He doesn't know I'm gonna say this, but I had joked the other day that ... the hero sex really helps a 20-year-old marriage," Laurie Sullenberger told NBC's Matt Lauer.

"Rock star sex," Sullenberger chimed in.

Quote of the day

"It was a shock at the start because it was a kangaroo, about 5 feet high, they don't go around killing people."

Hat Tip: Many thanks, cripjak!

Not remotely crime-related

In Asheville, N.C., a 77-year-old eye doctor is fighting a complaint before the state's medical board. A patient is reportedly upset because he allegedly told her "she was irresponsible for being unemployed, on Medicaid, and relying on taxpayers to cover another pregnancy after giving birth less than a year earlier."

Also, he told her she was fat and that, coupled with diabetes, could make her go blind.

The News & Observer's story is just jampacked with awesome, but the best bits are these:

"I poked her thigh to emphasize that diabetes is the leading cause of blindness," he said Thursday. "People have got to accept criticism without getting their bowels in an uproar."

... At the end of a conversation with this reporter, Sunderhaus offered $20 for her efforts. She returned it, but not before he tucked it in her sweater.

VIDEO: Chicken comes home to roost

Not remotely crime-related ...

Fla. town considers $1K daily fine for overgrown yards

The current fine is "only" $250 per day.

Hat Tip: Many thanks, JoJo!

Not remotely crime-related

Indian woman divorces her husband after he won't let her watch soap operas.

Hat Tip: Many thanks, cripjak!

Bystanders save baby from locked washing machine

The 7-month-old somehow got into the machine while Mom wasn't looking and the door slammed shut. Because they were at a coin-op laundry, the door locked, forcing Mom to run and get help. The baby got a little injured during the accident, but should be OK, police say.

Another win for Washington?

This isn't a criminal case, but I thought you might be interested, regardless: The U.S. Supreme Court has declined to hear arguments from Native American activists who want to have the Washington Redskins' trademarks ruled invalid. The activists say the team's name is offensive. USA Today's On Deadline blog says they've been fighting this battle for nearly 17 years.

Like snakes on a plane, only sexier

In Las Vegas, a strip club has decided -- on the advice of its lawyers -- to abandon a planned "strippers-on-a-truck" promotion. It's pretty much what it sounds like.

Hat Tip: Many thanks, Keith G in PV!

Students banned from saying "Meep" at high school

Danvers (Mass.) High parents got a warning from school officials that their children could be suspended if they say or display the word “Meep.”

Hat Tip: Keith G. in P.V.

| Bob Cronkleton

Not remotely crime-related

The police investigated this case and concluded nothing criminal happened. Your comments? From tcpalm.com ...

A Floresta Elementary kindergarten teacher was removed from classroom duties Wednesday pending investigation of an incident in which she is accused of asking a 6-year-old girl to clean up another student’s urine and then rewarding the girl with play money.

Not remotely crime-related

Sweet Lord, please let this be a hoax.

Not remotely crime-related

Woman suffers amnesia after sex.

Not remotely crime-related

In Scranton, Pa., a priest has been removed after a report on a diocesan fund-raiser went awry. He was trying to show an informational DVD using his personal computer and a projector. Only a series of scantily clad men appeared on the screen instead, the diocese states. Church leaders say none of the images were of juveniles, sexual activity or nudity. Just the same, a lot of people were upset.

Not remotely crime-related

Col. Sanders punks the United Nations, sucks up to the Libyans.

Not remotely crime-related

- A group of U.K. college students decided to brand each other heated coathangers at a party. Like a tattoo, but uglier!

- Bow hunter shoots deer, follows the animal until it dies ... on an animal activist's property. From the L.A. Times: Gorfinkle went out into her yard and took photos of the deer. "It was a crime scene, in my opinion, the minute that it was shot," she said.

- A hotel owner decides to make all of his Hispanic staff use Americanized names. In Taos, N.M.

Hat Tip: Many thanks, cripjak and Elrond and Tam!

Not remotely crime-related

But it should be.

Dance Party Friday ... Balloon Boy Edition

OK, one more for the road ...

Hat Tip: Many thanks, Jane!

Not remotely crime-related

Woman chasing raccoon accidentally sets fire to mobile home

Not remotely crime-related

Ohio mom is furious because her kid's teacher allegedly made the boy crawl like a dog as a punishment.

Not remotely crime-related

Beggar admits he's just going to buy beer.

Not remotely crime-related

Golfer loses arm to alligator while trying to pick up golf ball.

Not remotely crime-related

Unusual case from Georgia, where a 16-year-old boy likes to wear women's wigs, makeup and "vintage clothing." (He doesn't really consider it cross-dressing.) He started attending a new school, and the assistant principal has told to either start dressing more like a boy or stay home. The principal says the kid's attire led to a fight at a school and, because the dress code forbids clothing that disrupts the school, he needs to change. The kid argues back that school officials should stop the other kids from harassing him.