Charges dropped against man accused of sexually defiling picnic table

Neighbors submitted video evidence, but the county prosecutor said it didn't support felony charges, though he might file new ones at some point.

OH man accused of having sex with a picnic table

A couple of thoughts ...

1. This stuff usually happens in the UK. So, way to go, Ohio.

2. A tipster reportedly provided 3 DVDs to the police, showing the table-desecration as it happened. Three DVDs!

UK man accused of simulating sex with a lamp post

This follows reports of British gentlemen (and one Pole) engaging in sex acts with pavement, a bicycle and a vacuum cleaner named Henry. If there was ever a case for sex education ...

Hat Tip: Many thanks, You're A Mean Drunk R2D2!

"An overwhelming calm"

A Swedish man is accused of defiling the seats of women's bicycles because it gave him an "overwhelming calm." Snip:

The man was first reported in the spring of 2006 when police found sperm during an investigation involving a slashed bicycle tyre.

How would you like to be the poor police officer who got called to that scene?

Hat Tip: Many thanks, kmb!

Polish man accused of having sex with vacuum cleaner

The authorities say he claimed to be using the vacuum to clean his underwear, a common practice in Poland. Also, the photo of the victim here is truly heartbreaking.

Hat Tip: Many thanks, You're A Mean Drunk R2D2!

Man who humped the street: It was a prank

A UK man accused of pulling down his pants and humping the road itself has pleaded guilty to public indecency. He got probation, but won't be classified as a sex offender. Snip:

Sheriff Drummond commented: “This was bizarre. Anyone who lies on the road in the daylight, is significantly intoxicated and is partially undressed has a problem.”

Hat Tip: Many thanks, You're A Mean Drunk R2D2!

Canadian man loves classic cars ... no, he REALLY loves cars

The Smoking Gun has all the gory details. Also, I've created a tag for "sex crimes involving inanimate objects" to cover the various ne'er-do-wells who choose to have carnal relations with bicycles, fences, stuffed animals, etc.

Hat Tip: Many thanks, You're A Mean Drunk R2D2!