Couple crashed White House state dinner

Ye gods. This isn't like sneaking into the kegger at Kappa Alpha. This couple was able to make their way into one of the most (allegedly) secure facilities in the world. The Secret Service is reviewing their protocol to see how they did it. The AP says the service didn't know about this until the crashers bragged about it on Facebook.

Man says Charles Manson is his dad

My finger is hovering over the Shenanigans button ...

There are easier ways to get a refund

In Kitsap County, Wash., police were called after a resident complained about a man protesting outside his house. The man's picket sign read, "Meth Dealers Live Here." The one-man rally told police that his girlfriend had paid one of the people inside the house for a $600 laptop, but didn't get the computer. Hence, the protest.

Fla. woman sues ex for allegedly giving her herpes

Did we mention that he's a lottery winner?

Sex offenders shut down the North Pole?

Midtown Miscreant breaks it down for us:

For those of you with spawn, I regret to inform you that no longer will your mini-you's be able to mail letters to the North Pole, or at least they won't get a response. The little town of North Pole, Alaska, where the thousands of volunteers answer letters addressed to Santa in the North Pole every year, will likely have to shut down their program after the U.S. Postal Service enacted stricter regulations on the national program when a sex offender was discovered among the volunteers in Maryland last year.

How to tell if you've hit rock bottom

From the Times of London:

An eminent rabbi was so exhausted after three days of constant cocaine-fuelled partying with escorts that his pimp grew worried and cancelled that day’s supply of girls, a jury was told.

Hat Tip: Saw this via Fark!

Some headlines just write themselves

From the Kitsap Sun ...

Fun With Duct Tape Leads to Hospitalization for Belfair Student

Every picture tells a story

Sara snapped this photo when in KCPD's lobby this morning while she was making rounds. We're both very curious about who would leave their pants, heels and undies behind like that.

VIDEO: Cop vs. cat

In Texas, a police officer tried -- and tried and tried -- to get a kitten to leave him alone during a traffic stop. Here's what happened ...

Man insists he's a ninja, impales himself on a fence, Seattle cops say

He was trying to jump over it. Police say alcohol might have been a factor.

Single-mom soldier refuses to go to Afghanistan

Because there's nobody who can take care of her son, who's 10 months old, the AP reports. Her mom was going to watch the kiddo, but she's dealing with a handful of sick relatives and has backed out. Army authorities arrested Spc. Alexis Hutchinson, but they haven't filed criminal charges because they're still gathering facts about the case. (Though criminal charges ARE an option.) Hutchinson, a cook, tried to get more time to find a new caregiver, but she was told to deploy on time to Afghanistan. Instead, she skipped the flight.

Fast-food "holdup" was actually training scenario, St. Joe cops say

In St. Joe, the manager of a Sonic decided to teach his staff how to handle an armed robbery. He did this by having someone with a realistic-looking toy gun pretend to rob the joint and hold the toy gun to an employee's head, police told the News-Press. The situation escalated because customers were around, thought it was real and called the po-po. (Tsk -- this actually happened a couple of weeks ago, but I missed it.)

Was valedictorian talking about God? Or preaching?

Again, not a crime story, but an interesting court case from the Las Vegas area. The U.S. Supreme Court has refused to hear an appeal from Brittany McComb, whose valedictorian speech in 2006 was cut off because she deviated from a school-approved text and started talking about God and the crucifixion. McComb argued that her free-speech rights were infringed upon.

The public school, however, argued that, because they were giving her a state-sponsored forum, her speech couldn't be used to promote religion. And they said her speech was a form of proselytizing. (Here's an older story about the case, with more detail.)

Where the Taser got its name

There used to be a series of boys novels based on a character named Tom Swift, a youthful inventor who got into various adventures because of his creations. One of his stories was called "Tom Swift and His Electric Rifle." (In that adventure, Wikipedia notes, Tom used his "electric rifle" to kill elephants for their ivory.) Shorten that title to Tom Swift Electric Rifle, which becomes TSER, or Taser. 

New Yorkers call 911 on their cat

Their 10-year-old cat, which has diabetes and a thyroid issue, the New York Post reports. The callers in this case were a woman and her 27-year-old son.

Davila and her son made a dash for it, but the 10-year-old Carmen gave chase, hissing all the way.Marte managed to scramble back into the bedroom to safety, leaving his mother to tame the beast.

Carwash romp risky for naked men

High-pressure cleaners "for washing cars, not people," authorities explain.

The Aussies were also slapped with public nuisance and wilful exposure.

| Sara Shepherd

Pablo Escobar's estate is now a theme park

Fox News has a feature on the park, which draws about 50,000 people per year. Let's not remember Pablo Escobar as a bloodthirsty criminal who built an empire on murder and human degradation -- let's remember him as the man who introduced hippos to South America.

No one is going to win this argument

From the Courier of Findlay, Ohio ...

A woman called the police early Saturday morning during an argument with her husband after he claimed that the woman's daughter performed oral sex on him, and the daughter was better at it.

Hat Tip: Saw this via Fark!

UPDATE: La. official refused to marry mixed-race couple

And now he's resigned.

Local rally will feature reporter who looked into civil rights murders

The Emmett Till Justice Campaign will host a Truth and Justice rally from 5 to 8 p.m. Thursday at the Bruce R. Watkins Cultural Center in Kansas City. The keynote speaker will be Jerry Mitchell, an investigative reporter known for his work on unsolved murders of the civil-rights era. Mitchell just won a MacArthur "genius grant." The event is open to the public. To reserve a seat, call (816) 808-1772.

Abortion protesters win court battle in Pittsburgh

An appeals court has found that Pittsburgh's city ordinance creating buffer zones around abortion clinics is illegal. The law essentially created two zones: Protesters had to stay at least 15 feet from entrances, and they had to stay at least eight feet from patients while they were 100 feet from any entrances. The court said that either buffer was OK, but not both of them together because they infringe on protesters' free-speech rights.

eBay starts dismantling Roeder auction

That was pretty quick ...

Smoking in your own back yard? Could mean a lawsuit

Near Sacramento, a retired couple has sued their next-door neighbor because cigarette and cigar smoke from her back yard drifts into theirs. The Bee newspaper has a rundown on how things have devolved to this point. And they also note a surprising trend: This isn't an isolated case. More people are starting to sue over this kind of thing.

Hat Tip: Many thanks, JUNGLE JIM!

Was somebody deliberately shooting at Lou Dobbs' house?

In New Jersey, the state police are investigating after a bullet hit CNN host Lou Dobbs' house. It's not clear if the shot was intentional or just accidental, maybe from a hunter's bullet. The authorities say they're investigating partly because Dobbs is a public persona. The broadcaster says he's gotten weeks of threatening phone calls.

Report: Woman sues over naked pics on camera

KCTV has a story about a Belton woman suing Wal-Mart because she bought a digital camera for her teenage daughter, who -- after she opened it -- reportedly discovered the camera already had photos of a naked woman on it.