Remote patrol

Time for another trend-setting musical number on "The Drew Carey Show" (8 tonight on Channel 9). This one will bend your mind - be sure you're there at 8 sharp or you'll miss it. In the actual episode, Drew (right) and the boys are a hit when they perform an impromptu number at the local Ramada Inn lounge. So they hold auditions for a guitar player and everyone from Roy Clark to Jonny Lang shows up (including Joe Walsh in a repeat appearance). Also tonight, "Bravo Profiles" (7 p.m.) goes behind the scenes of 1997's controversial "puppy episode" of the Ellen DeGeneres sitcom.

Remote patrol

"Any Day Now" is becoming one of my favorites of this new TV season - and what's amazing is that it's not on a broadcast network but cable's Lifetime. Tonight at 8, Rene (Lorraine Toussaint) and Mary Elizabeth (Annie Potts) fight over Rene's decision to defend a black politician accused of taking bribes. Meanwhile, in the flashback story line from 1963, young Rene (played by the breakout star of this series, the captivating Shari Dyon Perry) wants to march, and thus go to jail, with all the other Birmingham youth. If you miss this exceptional episode, "Any Day Now" repeats at 9 p.m. every Sunday. Also tonight, Jonathan Taylor Thomas leaves "Home Improvement" at 7 on Channel 9.

The wide, wide world of Discovery The four channels under its watch have a 'natural' advantage

BETHESDA, Md. - Standing outside the 11-story office building known as Bethesda Place, across the street from a car dealership, you would be hard-pressed to identify this as the home of the Discovery channel, let alone the headquarters of a global TV colossus. Inside, there isn't even a TV studio - just floors and floors overflowing with employees of Discovery Communications Inc. As they like to say around here, the whole world is their studio. And so is their audience. After CNN, the biggest beneficiary of the cable and satellite era has been the networks owned by Discovery Communications, now seen in nearly 130 million homes in 144 countries. Besides the namesake, these are the Learning Channel, Animal Planet and the Travel Channel. This is a place where "version" is used as a verb, as when Michael Quattrone, general manager of the Discovery channel, says, "We took a Japanese documentary and versioned it for the U.S." This week, the Discovery networks are rolling out their most ambitious programming slates ever: more than 1,800 total hours of original programming and more blockbusters like last season's "Titanic Live." Discovery, for instance, will supply coverage of Sen. John Glenn's return to space (Oct. 26), and TLC presents "Vietnam: The Soldiers' Story," a new first-person documentary miniseries featuring Sen. John McCain and others who fought in Vietnam (Oct. 11-13). Discovery If you've had cable a long time, you may recall when the Discovery channel was little more than a hodgepodge of other people's programs. Discovery's founder, John S. Hendricks, spent three years assembling investors willing to take a chance on a documentary network. Discovery launched in 1985 with titles acquired from film libraries around the world. It was cheap and made money, but it was unfocused. "We were like the MTV of documentaries - all docs all the time," says Clark Bunting, a 13-year veteran of Discovery who now manages Animal Planet. "Was there programming flow? No, but we had lots of documentaries." As Discovery stopped living hand-to-mouth, it began making its own programs, and here is where it enjoyed an unusual advantage. State-run broadcasters in other countries - like the BBC, and Japan's NHK - spend good money on documentaries. Discovery formed partnerships to make high-quality programs. Foreign partners helped them stay on a cable-sized budget: An hour on the Discovery channel takes $ 250,000 to $ 1 million to produce, compared with $ 800,000 to $ 2 million for an hour of broadcast TV. "Some countries like the show to be hosted; other countries use different music," Quattrone says. "So much of this is working with people who have similar goals to you, so that the major differences aren't editorial but creative." The kind of programs Discovery offers has also evolved, with fewer "hardware shows" on technology and more that tell stories. "The FBI Files," which premieres at 9 tonight, builds an hour around a single criminal case. Among the specials: a special on humpback whales (Oct. 12); and a report on an archaeological dig last year that uncovered ancient Peruvian mummies (Oct. 19). TLC When it was purchased by Discovery in 1991, TLC's schedule was a mess. Today, TLC's schedule is still a mixed bag. Its acclaimed commercial-free block of children's programming, "Ready, Set, Learn," airs weekday mornings from 5 to 11. The afternoon is filled with shows like "A Wedding Story," "A Baby Story," "Reunion" - what TLC manager John Ford calls "lifestyle documentaries. " But the formula seems to work. TLC is one of the most popular cable networks among young adults. Animal Planet Americans own 64 million cats and 63 million dogs. Based on these numbers, it may not be hard to see why Animal Planet is making its way into tens of millions of homes. Easily the most buzzed-about cable channel this year, Animal Planet has a charm embodied in such shows as "The Pet Shop" (comedian Andy Kindler interviews celebrities and their pets) and "Emergency Vets" ("ER" for critters). Travel Channel Having acquired the Travel Channel in December, Discovery rolls out a new lineup this week that better reflects the company's emphasis on storytelling and introduces the first nightly newscast - well, news-related program, at least - on any Discovery network. "Travel Daily," which debuted at 8 p.m. Monday, teams South African Michelle Garforth and "Today" show travel editor Peter Greenberg in a show Travel Channel manager Jay Feldman says will be "like the 'Today' show, only it's all about travel. " The hourlong "Travel Daily" will feature news on new travel destinations and money-saving tips. The rest of Travel Channel's nightly prime-time lineup include new episodes of "Lonely Planet" (7 p.m.), the English un-travel show that will visit Iran and Indonesia, among other locales, this fall; and "Amazing Destinations" (9 p.m.), an exotic anthology series.

Weatherman Lezak shifting to different TV front Popular Channel 4 forecaster sees future with Channel 41.

Here's the long-range forecast at KSHB, Channel 41: Increasing goofiness with a chance of climbing ratings - but less Windy. Gary Lezak, the affable weatherman on Kansas City's top-rated morning television news program and his shepherd collie mix, Windy, are bolting WDAF, Channel 4, for crosstown rival KSHB. Lezak will move when his contract expires at the end of the year. Lezak, who has been at WDAF since 1992, will become the new chief forecaster at Channel 41, replacing Lori Miller. It's a position that probably would not have been available to him had he stayed at WDAF. Channel 4's chief forecaster is Mike Thompson, who defected from KCTV, Channel 5, to Channel 4 four years ago, in a move similar to Lezak's. "I've been doing mornings for 13 years," said Lezak, who held a similar on-air position in Oklahoma City from 1986 to 1992. "After 13 years I thought it was time to take on some new challenges, and this opportunity is exactly what I'm looking forward to at this point in my career." Because of a noncompete clause in his contract, Lezak will not be allowed to appear on Channel 41 for six months after his WDAF deal expires Dec. 31. WDAF General Manager Stan Knott said Lezak would remain on the air through the end of his contract unless a replacement is found sooner. "We gave him some terribly attractive offers," Knott said. "We'd be happy if he changed his mind because he's a good part of this team." That might be understating things. Lezak, one of Kansas City's most distinctive TV personalities, has been with WDAF's 7 to 9 a.m. all-local newscast since the station became a Fox affiliate in 1994. Channel 4 has had a third-place rating in most other parts of the day, but it has been No. 1 or No. 2 in mornings in recent years. The move to KSHB ended months of speculation within the Kansas City television news community that Lezak would seek greener pastures when his contract at WDAF expired. "We saw him as one of most well-known and popular personalities in the market," KSHB General Manager James Swinehart said Monday. "It made a lot of sense to bring people like Gary onto our team that had substantial recognition in the market. We're very excited about having him." Miller, who has been in the Kansas City market for 18 months, is being offered the option of staying on at Channel 41 in a diminished on-air role. She did not return phone calls Monday seeking comment. Whether Lezak's departure translates into higher ratings for fourth-place KSHB, sources interviewed Monday said, depends on how much support he gets from media giant E.W. Scripps Co. of Cincinnati, which owns the station. Scripps recently ordered layoffs at its nine television stations, and one of the casualties was the producer of KSHB's award-winning investigative unit. KSHB recently hired its third news director in five years. One thing is certain: By moving to the more conventional 6 and 10 p.m. newscasts, Lezak will banter less with his co-anchors and won't have much on-air time for his dog. But he promised Monday that he and Windy would continue touring the elementary-school circuit while at KSHB.

Remote patrol

The British documentary in which JonBenet Ramsey's parents (above) broke a 14-month silence this summer comes to U.S. television on "Investigative Reports" at 8 tonight on A&E. This completely sympathetic treatment, which includes some new material, could've been engineered by the Ramseys' PR agency. Still, given the lopsided coverage of this story - saturation treatment by Geraldo Rivera and others that presume the Ramseys' guilt - there's surely room for this 2-hour rebuttal. In it, the parents explain that entering beauty pageants was JonBenet's idea, not theirs, and they speculate as to who the real killer might be.

Pax is upon us, but where is it? Network owner prefers to refer to Channel 50 by name

The man responsible for the new Pax TV network will not be pausing for station identification. Lowell "Bud" Paxson, the former home-shopping king who started the family-friendly Pax TV network Aug. 31, has decided not to tell viewers to look for Channel 50 when looking for his network, but instead to look for the letters PAX in the bottom right-hand corner of their screens. Channel 50, of course, is how many people remember local Pax TV affiliate KPXE from its previous identity as religious station KYFC. And it's the most logical way for the one-third of Kansas Citians who don't have cable TV to find it. I bumped into Paxson at an industry panel discussion last week and asked him if he was ever planning to tell viewers that his network was airing on Channel 50. No need to, he said. "Just look for that red, white and blue bug in the bottom right corner," Paxson said. "That's all they need to do." Sounds simple, but TVKC has already received calls from readers who have seen the outdoor signs and ads in Star TV promoting shows on the network, such as "Touched by an Angel," but have no idea where to look. Paxson did say, however, that when Pax begins airing radio commercials, 10 seconds will be allotted for the radio station to supply a local tagline - which KPXE could use to mention the big five-oh. Last stand for public access? As recently reported, public access TV on Kansas City cable appears gone for good with the closing of TCI of Overland Park's community-TV station, Channel 15B. A spokesman for Time Warner Cable, which took over the TCI franchise, said that public access TV had been a fad, much like surfing the Web. Michael Henry thinks otherwise. He was the person who helped Salina, Kan., start up its highly successful public access facility five years ago, before moving to Kansas City. And he believes TV by the viewers and for the viewers is an idea whose time, in many ways, has not yet come. "Yes, it works in a small town because people there realize that it's their only media outlet," Henry told TVKC. "But if you think about it, that's true here as well. Does Kansas City, Kan., have local television? Overland Park? No. People occasionally realize that they are not represented on TV, that the things that happen in their cities do not appear on TV." And now that Time Warner Cable has 80 percent of the Kansas City metropolitan area's cable customers, public access shows could have unprecedented reach throughout dozens of communities - but only if customers demand it from Time Warner. To that end, Henry has been holding meetings around the area, trying to spark interest in reviving public access. The response, he said, hasn't been encouraging. Most remember the attempts by the Ku Klux Klan to put a show on American Cablevision in 1988, resulting in a City Council revolt that crippled public access. Some in the community have told Henry that viewers won't support the cost of public access, even if it adds just a dime a month to their cable bills. Besides, the political will needed to force Time Warner to rebuild public access would be enormous. Public access has been written out of most cable agreements. One exception is Kansas City, Kan., which can demand space for a channel at any time. But Henry said he'll press on - for one more meeting at least, to be held at 2 p.m. Sunday at the Johnson County Library branch at 87th and Farley streets in Overland Park. It is open to the public. StarTouch: 889-7827 and enter 8852 (TVKC). E-mail: writeme@tvbarn.com

Remote patrol

Saturday night at the movies, at home, is downright classic if you get TCM. At 7 p.m. it's "North by Northwest" (starring Cary Grant, above); at 9:30 p.m. "The Maltese Falcon" and at 11:30 p.m. "Mutiny on the Bounty. " For those with more modern tastes, the Sci-Fi Channel reels out the director's cut of "Dune" at 6 p.m. This four-hour (with commercials) version has actually been praised in some circles for making far more sense than the theater cut that was among the real bombs of the '80s. Those of you eager for the premiere of "Profiler" will have to wait at least one more week. As a precede to the season premiere of "Saturday Night Live" at 10:35 p.m., NBC and Channel 41 are running "The Bad Boys of Saturday Night Live" at 8 tonight.

Saturday night's alright for fightin' ...and fantasy...and fun, too, as several promising shows land here

Saturday, the night of the week with the smallest TV audience, may also have the highest concentration of promising new shows: three out of four, with a hideous Bo Derek drama as counterweight. At least two of the new shows are so good - fun one-hour shows too lighthearted to be called "dramas" - that you want to root for the ratings fates to be kind to them. Picks to click Could "Martial Law" have arrived at a better moment? This campy, high-kicking romp starring Hong Kong film star Sammo Hung follows by one week the smash box-office opening of Jackie Chan's new movie. In spirit and in personnel, "Martial Law" is the Chan genre of action film brought to the small screen. It debuts at 8 tonight on Channel 5. Hung, a bear of a man at about 5-foot-7 and 220 pounds, dispenses justice to the bad guys in L.A. with his feet and any implement close at hand (5-gallon bucket, chalkboard eraser etc.). He's helped out by a latter-day Mod Squad - his female partner even looks like Peggy Lipton - but the show really revolves around Hung, who despite his poor command of the English language lights up every scene he's in. After you've thrilled to Sammo, chill out with the delightful new "Cupid" at 9 on Channel 9. Jeremy Piven ("Ellen") is convinced he is the 3,000-year-old god of love; Paula Marshall ("Spin City"), a Chicago shrink who also advises the young and lovelorn, thinks he's out of his mind. His fanaticism, her skepticism and some terrific writing from newcomer Rob Thomas (who wrote the infamous teacher-seduction episode of "Dawson's Creek") make for one of the brightest new hours on TV this fall. As a non-couple, these two certainly have a lot more going for them than that overhyped "Will & Grace" - well, except for the time slot. What else is new The remake of "Fantasy Island," a show that aired on this night 20 years ago, debuts at 8 on Channel 9 with a new Mr. Roarke, played by Malcolm McDowell. In the first episode, he symbolically dons a black coat and orders someone to destroy all the white coats. It's one of several signs that this oddball with a cruel streak won't be anything like Ricardo Montalban. With the aid of special effects and his staff - played by the alluring Madchen Amick, debonair Edward Hibbert from "Frasier" and buffoony Louis Lombardi - Roarke concocts a series of bizarre wish fulfillments for his guests. There's also a sort of phantom tollbooth the guests must pass through, an inauspicious looking travel agency run by a twinkly old man (Fyvush Finkel) who in his own way is as weird as Roarke. Whether viewers will warm to the sometimes cold-hearted "Fantasy Island" remains to be seen. But there's little doubt what will happen to "Wind on Water," the fall's undisputably dead-on-arrival show, when it finally does arrive Oct. 17. Bo Derek runs a ranch on Hawaii that teeters on bankruptcy. She has two sons who can't get enough of extreme sports, which may explain why the ranch is in trouble (not to mention this show). Surfin' turf You've heard that NBC agreed to shell out $ 13 million an episode for "ER. " But the networks aren't profligate every night of the week, especially Saturdays. One way they can control costs is by owning a chunk of the shows they put on the air. By agreeing to share in a show's financial risk, the networks can help reduce the amount they pay to put that show on the air. And should it ever be syndicated in reruns - as "Walker: Texas Ranger" and "Cops" are - the network shares in the proceeds. So it's no wonder that, on a low-rated night like Saturday, when the need to keep costs down is imperative, the networks have ownership shares in eight of the 11 prime-time shows. Not that there isn't a downside. For instance, NBC owns "Wind on Water" outright. If you ask me, they can have it.

Friday nights are light on inspiration Except for 'Legacy,' networks surrender day to kids and cliches.

One of the least-watched nights of television is also the least inspiring of the new fall season. ABC is adding a couple of new shows to its teen-oriented "TGIF" lineup, while NBC tries a conventional drama from a noted producer. The best of the new batch won't be out for three weeks. Pick to click "Legacy," coming Oct. 9 on UPN (Channel 29), is a new period drama from Chris Abbott, the "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" producer and one of the few women allowed to run a TV show (Martha Williamson of "Touched by an Angel" and "Promised Land" is another). The story of an Irish family occupying a rich Kentucky plantation shortly after the Civil War, "Legacy" is super-wholesome and beautifully filmed, with a nice Celtic soundtrack. It may well be the successor to "Dr. Quinn," provided viewers can find it on the dial. What else is new "Trinity," debuting Oct. 16 on NBC, is worth a look, if only because "ER" executive producer John Wells is behind it. It's also the story of an Irish family, this one having grown up in New York City's tough Hell's Kitchen neighborhood, where Mom and Pop still live and where the 20- and 30-something siblings still convene every week for Sunday dinner. The show, unfortunately, is mapped out like a sitcom - one brother is a cop, another is a union organizer, a third is a priest - and that just won't cut it on Friday nights, when viewers must be enticed to watch TV. Of course, when you think family and Friday-night TV, you think of ABC's long-running franchise of teen-oriented sitcoms. Two new entries join the "TGIF" stable this fall. "Two of a Kind" brings America's darling duo, Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen, back to the small screen. After sharing the part of Michelle on the old ABC hit "Full House," the twins share a stage in a show that has "kiddie sensation" written all over it. It debuts at 7 tonight on Channel 9. Mary-Kate is the tomboy, so look for her in hats and pants. Their dad (Christopher Sieber), who naturally is a widower, teaches at the local college, where one of his students (Sally Wheeler) answers the classified ad for the girls' babysitter. At 8:30 p.m. on Channel 9, "Brother's Keeper" offers William Ragsdale (Herman in "Herman's Head") as a professor who's assigned to watch over his younger brother, Bobby (Sean O'Bryan), as part of Bobby's pro football contract. With its slightly more mature premise, it isn't exactly the next "Sister Sister." With the hiring of Justin Cooper, last seen in "Liar Liar," "Brother's Keeper" starts TV's oddest trend; that of hiring cute kids from blockbuster Hollywood films to make Friday-night sitcoms. Last year, Jonathan Lipnicki of "Jerry Maguire" starred in the stinky "Meego." "Buddy Faro" (8 p.m. on Channel 5) is the second of two new Rip Van Winkle detective shows ("Brimstone" on Fox is the other). Dennis Farina plays a famed Los Angeles sleuth who vanishes one day in 1978 before being smoked out by another P.I. (Frank Whaley). This Aaron Spelling-produced action comedy is supposed to evoke the Rat Pack era, but I wasn't especially taken by its attempts at camp, and I've had it with car chases, even the cutesy chase in tonight's episode involving Buddy and two Abe Vigoda types. Amazingly, as of this writing "Living in Captivity," the horrible sitcom from "Murphy Brown" creator Diane English about a black couple moving to the all-white suburbs, is still on the air (7 p.m. on Channel 4). Surfin' turf Fox's horror drama "Millennium" gets a makeover this fall when Frank Black (Lance Henriksen) moves from Seattle to Washington and goes to work for the FBI, where he is paired with a lovely, if unapproachable, agent (Klea Scott, last seen on "Brooklyn South"). The show's executive producer, Chris Carter, says these changes are part of an overall plan to make "Millennium" more "hopeful." And if the result is a show that looks more like Carter's smash hit "The X-Files," all the better.

Remote patrol

Now that Fox has decided not to aim for black audiences on Thursdays, the WB will. Its new Thursday lineup is led by "The Steve Harvey Show" at 8 on Channel 62. This sitcom, which stars Harvey as a former R&B sensation turned schoolteacher, was the highest-rated show among African-American viewers that didn't get canceled. (Which is saying something, because it came in seventh.) It was also the WB's most popular show with young adults, and for good reason: It's accessible, has a low stereotype count and is pro-religious - three qualities, by the way, one wouldn't immediately associate with Harvey's stand-up routine.

NBC still can't find a fight on Thursday nights Special interest shows are best rivals have to counter the giant

I'm not a major consumer of TV on Thursdays. Oh sure, I like to keep up with the feeding frenzy on "ER," and "Friends" is always good for a laugh. But NBC's 14 years of dominance in prime time on Thursdays have made the night dull. Other networks are getting tired of having their best shows bulldozed by "must-see TV," so mediocre shows are being substituted instead, like "Promised Land," that flag-waving cup of cocoa over on CBS. Or Fox's freak tandem of reality TV, "World's Wildest Police Videos" and "Guinness World Records. " (The latter was a summer-only series that got a reprieve when its replacement, "Hollyweird," was canned at the last moment by Fox.) With the notable exception of ABC, no network this fall is putting even a single new show up against NBC. Picks to click ABC's revamped Thursday-night lineup takes dead aim at viewers who like explosions and gunfire but aren't too wild about subtlety. The action genre doesn't do much for me normally, yet even I sat up and took notice when I saw the network's 7 p.m. offering, "Vengeance Unlimited." In the spirit of "The Equalizer" comes Mr. Chapel, a sturdy lead character played by film star Michael Madsen. He's an enigmatical defender of the victims of crime; when the justice system lets you down, Mr. Chapel shows up. In the pilot episode he uses stun guns, monster trucks, phone harassment and extortion to wear down the bad guys and send them running into the arms of the authorities. Needless to say, a premise like this requires a lead actor who can convince viewers it's not completely ludicrous. Madsen is the man. The only other regular on "Vengeance Unlimited" is K.C. (Kathleen York), a woman he previously helped to right a wrong. "Vengeance Unlimited" launches next week because tonight ABC unveils its new Thursday night movie with the three-hour "Executive Decision. " ABC's movie package will remind you of TBS' "Movies for Guys Who Like Movies," which also airs on Thursdays. This season you'll see films like "Mission: Impossible" and "The Rock," plus made-for-TV productions from the likes of Jerry Bruckheimer and Martin Scorsese. What else is new? One can't begrudge the producers of "Friends" their success on Thursday nights. But "Jesse," which debuts at 7:30 tonight on Channel 41, is their third sitcom of the night (the other is that gem "Veronica's Closet") and that's at least one sitcom too many. Jesse, played by Christina Applegate of "Married With Children" fame, is a single mom living in Buffalo with her young son and two brothers. Dad lives nine blocks away and owns the tavern where she works, so basically she can't escape these men. This is horrible for her, great for them, because they all rely on her for financial and emotional support. Like the new Fox sitcom "Costello," this show left me asking: Who lives like this anymore? By the end of the first episode I wanted Jesse to change the locks on her house and chase these losers out the door. Of local interest: Overland Park native John Lehr gets plenty of camera time as one of Jesse's brothers, but he has little to say. Jesse tells a neighbor that he stopped talking the year before because he's trying to "use language in a more efficient manner." Hey, if I were associated with this show, I'd keep my piehole shut, too. Surfin' turf After six episodes last spring on NBC, "For Your Love," the latest sexy comedy from "Living Single" creator Yvette Lee Bowser, moves to the WB, where it airs at 8:30 p.m. on Channel 62. Set in Oak Park, Ill., a multiracial suburb that abuts Chicago's West Side, it features six friends neatly divided into three couples. Two are black, one is white. One couple are newly married, another are thinking about it and the other two have been there and done that. I wasn't smitten by "For Your Love" on NBC, but comedy development is notoriously tight at the network and the switch to WB may make the show looser and more appealing.

Remote patrol

Would it have been more awkward if the cast of "NewsRadio" had simply started the new season pretending that Phil Hartman never existed? Not when compared with tonight's unsentimental and unfunny "tribute" episode to Hartman, which airs at 8:30 on Channel 41. There are no video highlights of Hartman's character Bill McNeal, an astonishing omission when you consider how this show at times revolved around him. No better tribute could've been devised than an all-McNeal episode, and I can't think of any worse tribute than these 22 minutes of contrived moping by the surviving cast.

Take note

C-SPAN founder to speak Brian Lamb, the founder of the C-SPAN cable service, will speak at the Unity Temple on the Plaza on Sept. 30. Lamb will be in town to promote Book TV, the new weekend-long program devoted to authors and literary events on C-SPAN2. Besides being head of the C-SPAN networks, Lamb has been host of C-SPAN2's author-interview program "Booknotes" since 1987. The talk is being co-sponsored by Rainy Day Books and the Plaza Branch of the Kansas City Public Library. Complimentary tickets are available at both locations.

New subjects, old formulas Wednesday's new shows generally fail to make most of good ideas

The new season's Wednesday-night offerings will not make their appearance until at least next week, as no network is eager to challenge the 32nd annual version of tonight's perennial ratings blockbuster, the "Country Music Association Awards." Expect aliens and witches, romantic lawyers and hardball ones, time travel and the fifth coming of Stone Phillips on Wednesdays this fall, making it the most variegated night on the schedule. Picks to click Depending on your point of view, "Dateline NBC" on Channel 41 is either one of the most brilliant concepts for TV in the '90s or the death of prime time as we know it. But with the crisis in Washington deepening by the day, the decision to counterprogram Dharma and Greg at 7 tonight with Bill and Hillary seems prescient. Co-anchors Jane Pauley and Stone Phillips will continue doling out the hard news with a soft touch. "Seven Days" (7 p.m. on Channel 29 beginning Oct. 7) was supposed to be a made-for-TV movie but UPN turned it into a weekly series instead. Jonathan LaPaglia ("New York Undercover") plays a rogue ex-CIA man who has chosen to take an experimental time capsule seven days into the past to head off global chaos. I liked the concept, especially the part about the love interest who keeps forgetting she likes this guy because he keeps turning back the clock on their relationship. The big question "Seven Days" will have to answer is: How many different ways are there to save the free world? What else is new A new teen horror drama, "Charmed" (8 p.m. on Channel 62 beginning Oct. 7), stars Shannen Doherty, Holly Marie Combs ("Picket Fences") and Alyssa Milano ("Who's the Boss? ") as sisters transformed into witches when they speak a spell from the old family spell book. It's an obvious amalgam of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Sabrina, the Teenage Witch," only without the cuteness or cleverness. "To Have & to Hold" (8 p.m. on Channel 5 beginning Sept. 30), one of five new shows about Irish families on TV this fall ("Costello," "Legacy," "Trinity" and arguably "Hyperion Bay" among them), is also one of several shows trying to grab some of that magic from "Ally McBeal. " This one is an hourlong romantic comedy, takes place in Boston and involves lawyers. As with "Charmed," all you can smell with this show is the formula. Also on CBS, "Maggie Winters" at 7:30 p.m. stars Faith Ford as a high-school sweetheart forced to go back to small-town Indiana after her marriage and life in the big city go sour. The characters all look like they're at least in their mid-30s, yet they behave as if high school let out five years ago. ABC is hoping "The Secret Lives of Men" (8:30 p.m. on Channel 9) is the perfect companion to "Drew Carey," something neither "Ellen" nor "Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place" was. This comedy about three recently divorced men is from the mind of Susan Harris, who created "Soap" and "The Golden Girls. " It does have political incorrectness in common with "Drew Carey" but is less innocent and has a harder edge viewers may not enjoy. Don't be fooled by the name: The "new" Wednesday edition of "20/20" is simply a repackaging of "PrimeTime Live" with Diane Sawyer and Sam Donaldson. Surfin' turf You don't have to be a puritan to wonder whatever happened to parental guidance. Millions of teen-agers across America this season will be glued every Wednesday night to some pretty grown-up fare. At 7 p.m., "Dawson's Creek" (new season begins Oct. 7), the highest-rated returning show among viewers ages 12-17, is well-known for its sex-charged conversations and last season's story line in which a lead teen-ager slept with his teacher. At 8, "Party of Five" (Channel 4), features no more bed-hopping than "Beverly Hills, 90210," but the ones doing it on "Party of Five" are far more sympathetic than those doing it on "90210." At 9, the foulmouthed cartoon "South Park" (Comedy Central) remains basic cable's top-rated program and a phenomenal hit with young viewers. The networks slap warning labels on all of these programs (including a stern "TV-MA" on "South Park"), but so far adults don't appear to be paying much attention to them.

Remote patrol

So which sex comedy will it be at 8 p.m.? "Just Shoot Me" on Channel 41, with the vivacious Laura San Giacomo and the smarmy David Spade? Or "Spin City" on Channel 9, with Michael J. Fox and a supporting cast of about 20? "Spin City" certainly seems to be the more well-rounded; Richard Kind (above), who plays the mayor's press secretary, may have found the supporting role of his career, and Michael Boatman is delicious as the gay minority-affairs liaison. But "Just Shoot Me" is always worth a look, if for nothing else than a few minutes of Spade being Spade.

'Encore! Encore!' lives up to its name Revamped comedy starring Nathan Lane deserves a second look

Tuesdays this fall will be home to relatively few new TV shows, perhaps because ABC, NBC, Fox and the WB all have key programs crowding up the schedule, making it nearly impossible for new shows to break through. At 7, for instance, you're forced to choose between "King of the Hill," "Home Improvement," "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," "Mad About You" and "Moesha. " Too bad those 4-head VCRs can't record four shows at once. Picks to click More, more! Believe me, that was the last thing I expected to say when I popped the long-awaited preview tape of "Encore! Encore! ", NBC's supposed stinker-in-the-making, in the VCR. The sitcom, featuring Nathan Lane ("The Birdcage") as an opera singer forced to retire and move back home with his family, earned hoots of derision when it was shown to advertisers in May. That pilot was quickly withdrawn, and TV critics saw not a trace of it or Lane all summer. Like Desdemona in Verdi's "Otello," this show appeared to be given the kiss of death. But in the fall's most pleasant surprise to date, the reconstituted "Encore! Encore! " turns out to be very much alive and easily the standout among NBC's otherwise cookie-cutter batch of new sitcoms. It makes its debut at 7:30 p.m. on Channel 41. Lane plays a wonderfully full-bodied twit; given time he might do for divas what Tony Randall once did for Type A personalities. Joan Plowright is the ideal foil as the mama. Besides getting in some good lines of her own, she serves a purpose by reining in Lane, whose carrying on at times threatens to get out of hand. What else is new Last week it was Sue Costello. This week it's D.L. Hughley's turn to try to become the latest stand-up comedian to launch a sitcom worth watching. Both need to try harder. "The Hughleys" (co-produced by Chris Rock and broadcast at 7:30 p.m. on Channel 9), about an upwardly mobile black family that moves to the all-white suburbs, has as outdated a view of race relations as "Costello" does of gender relations. But Hughley and Elise Neal ("Rosewood"), who plays his wife, are well-paired, and the show's middle-class bent makes it a good match with "Home Improvement." Maybe some good will come out of it, which is more than I can wish for "Costello." More promising is "Sports Night" at 8:30 on Channel 9, a smart, fast-paced sitcom purporting to show life behind the scenes at an ESPN-like sports news program. From writer Aaron Sorkin ("The American President"), it has personality to spare, so much that you forgive it for its romantic notion that a bunch of highly paid TV people constitutes a "family." CBS revives its Tuesday-night movie again at 8 with "Primal Fear," the 1996 thriller with Edward Norton and Richard Gere. And In two weeks UPN will introduce "Mercy Point," which has been described - when it has been described at all - as "ER in space." From a blood-and-guts perspective, that's accurate. Mercy Point is a 23rd-century spaceship that operates on both humans and aliens in trauma situations. Joe Morton (a.k.a. the third "Blues Brother") plays the head surgeon. The pacing, dialogue and (other than Morton) cast of characters fall well below that of "ER," no surprise there. In one week the WB rolls out possibly the most hype-addled show of the fall, "Felicity," starring Keri Russell as a young woman who thwarts her parents' perfect plan for her life by enrolling at New York University instead of Stanford. Now, NYU isn't exactly a school known for its slackers, and I can't imagine that many kids identifying with Felicity's contrived "dilemma. " But I wouldn't bet against the WB, which has a knack for hit teen dramas. One last new show, "Brimstone," is being held until Oct. 27 - presumably so the dark drama about a dead cop chasing souls loosed from hell can air during Halloween week. Either that or the show already has one foot in the grave. @ART CATPION:Joan Plowright and Nathan Lane in 'Encore! Encore! '

Premieres are priority for networks

As far as the three top-rated television networks are concerned, President Clinton's videotaped testimony will be Page 2 news by tonight. That's because NBC, CBS and ABC are launching their fall TV schedules this evening. These same networks devoted generous portions of prime time to covering independent counsel Kenneth Starr's report just 10 days ago. Staging an encore tonight, though, would imperil several weeks' worth of promotion for the fall season and possibly incur a major setback in the ratings - something the networks cannot afford after their worst summer ratings ever. There will be some broadcast coverage on the top three networks of the president's testimony during the day, and five cable networks will air the testimony in its entirety. But the three networks' coverage could be sporadic, and by nightfall it will almost certainly be nonexistent, save for a regularly scheduled edition of "Dateline NBC." Tonight the networks must focus their attention elsewhere as they try to regain the momentum they lost to cable TV over the four-month break. During that time, cable made unprecedented inroads - in some weeks actually surpassing the total audience of the six broadcast networks. And with millions being spent this summer on promotion of the fall season, broadcasters can't afford to interrupt their premieres for the presidential crisis. When the president's videotaped testimony begins airing this morning, the networks will be supplied with transcripts of the testimony, allowing them to identify portions they consider newsworthy and schedule their interruptions. The accompanying 2,800 pages of documents, also released by the House Judiciary Committee, will be posted to the cable networks' Web sites and elsewhere on the Internet. According to NewsTV, the Lawrence-based video information service, the weekend following the Starr report was one of the most intensive periods for prime-time newsmagazines covering the presidential crisis since the Lewinsky story broke in January. TV viewing levels are typically low on weekends, however, and the networks' only alternative at that time was to air reruns of entertainment programs. "They probably made more money on news than they would've with entertainment," said Andrew Tyndall, a New York media analyst who tracks the nightly newscasts in his newsletter, Tyndall Weekly. The decision to expand the nightly newscasts to one hour tonight marks the first time that has happened since the Gulf War, according to Tyndall. And it may even reflect the public's mixed reception of the Starr report. "Everyone said that when the Starr report came out, then the tide would turn," said Tyndall. "The news junkies read it, but nobody else who was supposed to read it did." On the Sunday-morning talk shows, the consensus was that the president's testimony, some of which was summarized in a New York Times article on Sunday, appears to be far less salacious than the details contained in the Starr report. Of greater interest than the details of the president's testimony was whether an aide to the president, journalist Sidney Blumenthal, had been spreading gossip about the sexual affairs of top Republican leaders. What's showing on television The coverage plans for today's scheduled release of President Clinton's taped testimony before the grand jury: NBC, CBS and ABC will cut away from scheduled programming at 8 a.m. to cover Clinton's opening statement to the grand jury, and the networks have told their affiliates to expect further interruptions during the day. The three networks will also air expanded, one-hour editions of their nightly newscasts. (Channels 9 and 5 will follow that with their local news shows; Channel 41 was uncertain Sunday night what it would do.) Five cable networks - CNN, MSNBC, Fox News Channel, Court TV and C-SPAN - will air the entire 4 1/2-hour tape unedited beginning at 8 a.m. For viewers who miss the feed, C-SPAN will air the president's testimony a second time beginning at 7 p.m., as will Fox News Channel at 10 p.m., CNN at 11:30 p.m. and MSNBC at 1 a.m.

Let the viewing begin This week, the networks show us their stuff.

For NBC and CBS, tonight marks the end of hype season and the beginning of the fall TV season. This week the big three broadcast networks unveil the majority of their new shows (ABC joins the fray Tuesday), and most returning series on the networks will begin their new seasons as well. So we'll soon know if anybody likes "Guys Like Us," or if there's any truth to the rumor that "Everybody Loves Raymond." We'll find out if the switch from "Brooklyn South" to "L.A. Doctors" will cure what ails CBS, or whether the network should've just stuck with the "Chicago Hope" prescription. Picks to click The WB network (seen locally on KSMO, Channel 62) rolls out the promising "Hyperion Bay" at 8 tonight. The story of two brothers struggling to become men, this one-hour drama is from "thirtysomething" writer Joseph Dougherty and departs somewhat from WB's focus on teens. Nick Sweeney (Dylan Neal) stayed in economically depressed Hyperion Bay after high school, while his nerdy younger brother Dennis (Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Zack on "Saved by the Bell") went off to college, then Silicon Valley. Dennis blossomed while Nick did a freefall worthy of a Mellencamp anthem. Now, in the ultimate high-school reunion fantasy, Dennis is about to become a major employer in his hometown. But the brothers share an instinctive need to earn the blessing of their emotionally reserved father (played by veteran actor Ray Barry), and the fight to win that blessing will constitute a major theme in the weeks to come. What else is new NBC replaced two of its "Must-She TV" duds with sitcoms starring men who are practically perfect in every way - and off limits to the ladies! "Will & Grace" (8:30 p.m. on Channel 41) uses the by-now familiar story line of a single woman (Grace, played by Debra Messing) and her gay best friend, Will (Eric McCormack). But the more interesting tandem may be Will and Jack (Sean P. Hayes), the show's other gay man and a real scene-stealer. "Conrad Bloom" (7:30 p.m. on Channel 41) is kind, selfless, a problem-solver and a good listener. Women love him, but he just can't seem to find the time to date any of them. Awwwwww. On CBS, "The King of Queens" (7:30 p.m. on Channel 5) stars Kevin James and Leah Remini as a young married couple whose outer-borough bliss is broken when her dad (Jerry Stiller) moves in. "The Brian Benben Show" (8:30 p.m. on Channel 5), an aggressively funny office sitcom, just might fill the hole left - a few years ago, frankly - by "Murphy Brown. " Kansas City native Robert Borden is creator of this vehicle for Benben ("Dream On"), who plays a Los Angeles TV anchor fighting to get his old job back. That's followed at 9 p.m. by "L.A. Doctors," featuring Ken Olin and the hunky Rick Roberts in a drama that looks like it's trying awfully hard to be a medical version of "The Practice." If you ask me, it needs a show doctor. And "7th Heaven" (7 p.m. on Channel 62) and "Everybody Loves Raymond" (8 p.m. on Channel 5) deserve much bigger audiences than they have now. ABC now starts "Monday Night Football" an hour earlier (7 p.m. on Channel 9) - but will that be enough to steal the thunder from "WCW Monday Nitro" (7 p.m. on TNT) and "WWF Raw" (8 p.m. on USA)? Cable's terrible twosome are coming off their best summer ever and now claim several million viewers who probably still don't know Frank Gifford isn't calling football games anymore. UPN's new comedies launch Oct. 5, including "The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer," featuring Chi McBride as the meddlesome black butler to President Abraham Lincoln. Best case scenario: This show is mildly amusing. Worst case: It goes horribly, terribly wrong. Either way, it might be worth a look, but no more than that.

Remote patrol

Remember when "Seinfeld" was a well-kept secret? Before NBC moved it to Thursdays? Well, you won't have to worry about "Everybody Loves Raymond" becoming a huge hit, not so long as it's on CBS on Monday nights. Tonight the grown-up marital comedy starring Ray Romano launches its third season at a new time, 8 p.m. on Channel 5. Pay no attention to the Emmy voters who snubbed it again this year - "Raymond" is a high-quality sitcom with a terrific ensemble supporting Romano and Patricia Heaton. It's like "Home Improvement" for mature audiences.

Old ideas live on in new TV season Networks retread past formulas while unique big hits rage on.

It's hard to think of a major household appliance that hasn't undergone a technological transformation in the last decade or two - until you think of the television set. Stoically housed in its cabinet, the TV has seen incremental improvements in its sound and picture quality - but enhancements do not a revolution make. With digital television seemingly just around the corner, nearly everyone in the broadcasting business, from TV manufacturers to station owners, is responding with typical mulishness, making excuses to forestall that corner-turning as long as possible. As with the hardware of TV, so it is with the software - the shows. This week as NBC, CBS and ABC roll out their fall premieres, their executives must surely know disillusioned viewers will continue turning to cable in record numbers. So why do they stubbornly insist on putting the same concepts on the air in different packages year after year? With only one exception - the surprisingly uncommon Nathan Lane vehicle "Encore! Encore! " - there is not a half-hour sitcom being introduced this fall that is not plainly derivative of at least one earlier show. "People grew up with sitcoms, but the sitcoms didn't grow up with the people," producer Dan O'Shannon observed recently. Over the years casual sex has replaced the sanitized dating techniques of old. Flouting taboo has become so customary among a certain type of youth-skewing sitcom that it's debatable whether there's any taboo left to flout. But those Cub Scout cliches - honesty and loyalty - continue to guide an amazing number of sitcom story lines. Hollywood seems to have had it with the sameness of network TV. For five years in a row it has awarded the Emmy for best comedy to the one show, "Frasier," that lifts its audience's expectations instead of lowering them. With its literary allusions, elements of classical farce and memorable characters, "Frasier" makes you forget you're watching the nth variation on a half-century-old theme. The Emmy voters this year also nominated "Ally McBeal," a one-hour program, for best comedy, yet another sign of the creative community's frustration with the half-hour sitcom template. And judging from the fall TV lineups, perhaps that frustration is starting to seep into the networks' executive suites. Five years ago NBC, CBS, ABC and Fox had 50 half-hour and 48 hour programs on the fall schedule. This year the balance has shifted - 53 hour programs to just 42 half-hours. Throw in junior networks WB and UPN and the emphasis on longer programs becomes even more pronounced. Some of the credit for this shift must go to the creator of "Ally McBeal," David E. Kelley, who picked up the best drama Emmy last week for "The Practice," possibly the first dramatic series since "The Defenders" to take the side of the accused on a regular basis. And that's not the only quality that distinguishes "The Practice. " For one thing the actors who play the lawyers look like they could be real attorneys. "The Practice" also injects life into standard-issue courtroom scenes, with close-ups that draw out the humanity of those involved. Even so, Kelley has had to put up with one of TV's most unsettling realities: The people running the networks, in many cases, have the attention spans of children and the discernment of adolescents. ABC has played schedule games with "The Practice," moving the show to four different nights in its first 20 months. Kelley's "Chicago Hope" has suffered similar scheduling problems on CBS. That was probably a key factor in Kelley pitching "Ally McBeal" to Fox. Nor is his an isolated case. In the last three years ABC has squandered three great dramas, "Murder One" (from an industry legend, Steven Bochco), "Nothing Sacred" and "Cracker," by scheduling them opposite NBC's powerhouse lineup on Thursdays. And it's probably doing the same thing to "Cupid" this fall by putting it on Saturday night. By contrast, NBC has consistently shown that it can turn promising ideas into mature one-hour series. The network helped producer Dick Wolf take "Law & Order" from an interesting concept to a singular TV achievement. It helped Barry Levinson and Tom Fontana make "Homicide: Life on the Street" a must-see on Fridays. This season may be "Homicide's" best, as Andre Braugher's departure will force the show's producers to give the Baltimore-based cop show a more rounded ensemble. And while you may not be a fan of newsmagazines, you have to give NBC credit for reinventing the genre and making it appealing to audiences of all ages. If you wonder why "Dateline" is now on five nights a week, it may be because the show has clearly connected with viewers in a way Hollywood hasn't. It's kept current. The trend from 30-minute to 60-minute shows is encouraging, but a widening of the canvas does not guarantee a broadening of the imagination. One of the reasons viewers are leaving the networks is that cable channels do not make the same cultural assumptions about their audience. To give just one example: There will be six new shows introduced this season that prominently feature Mark McGwire's people, the Irish. There will be none about Sammy Sosa's people, the Dominicans.