New on the tube TV critic Aaron Barnhart rates tonight's show

The Barnhart scale, from best to worst: Don't Miss, Has Potential, Needs Show Doctor, D.O.A. (Dead on Arrival). D.O.A. "Time of Your Life" This dreadful, brain-damaged vehicle for "Party of Five" star Jennifer Love Hewitt tries to turn her into the next Ally McBeal - and fails spectacularly. Laden with idiotic banter and absurd story turns, this show, which already has been overhauled once (hence the late starting date), now seems unsalvageable. Hewitt blows into New York and immediately begins blabbing to anyone who will listen to her story about searching for identity and meaning and her unknown father. The first stranger she tells this to is a foreigner; he thinks she wants to have sex with him. I guess that's supposed to be funny. In "Ally McBeal" style, Hewitt walks into a men's room to confront the man she thinks is her dad; in another, she fakes being a cabaret singer to get into a fancy ball. And meanwhile, she just keeps blurting out whatever's on her mind. I guess this is supposed to establish Hewitt's character as irrepressible. Irritating is the better word for it. At one point she says, "I'm sorry, this is very inappropriate and embarrassing," as though summing up this whole sorry program. (7 p.m. Mondays, Channel 4) For full coverage of the fall season, visit the TV Barn Web site www.tvbarn.com