'Felicity' has hairy time paying tribute to 'Zone'

Probably a hundred times a day a TV critic can see proof of the old axiom that youth is wasted on the young. But it's been awhile since I've seen one as appalling as Sunday's episode of "Felicity" (7 p.m., Channel 62). The show's creator, J.J. Abrams, thought it would be a neat idea to write an hour of his coming-of-age relationship drama as though it were an episode of Rod Serling's TV classic "The Twilight Zone." He hired Lamont Johnson, a veteran of the original series that aired from 1959 to 1965, to direct the episode. Abrams also ordered a new soundtrack that riffed on the original "Twilight Zone" theme, with lots of droopy saxophone licks, twittery reeds and shrill crescendos. He picked out wardrobes and built new sets reminiscent of early 1960s TV dramas. And of course, he had the episode shot in black-and-white. Give a television crew a technical feat - in this case, imitating the look and feel of a 40-year-old TV series - and they often do admirable work. That's certainly true here. Several TV shows have tried on a retro look in the past year or so, but "Felicity" really nails the ambiance of "Twilight Zone." Abrams even got an unintentional assist this summer when the show's star, Keri Russell, decided to cut her long hair. The resulting 'do does Jane Wyman proud. Unfortunately, all of this careful visual landscaping is ruined by the script. The best Abrams could do was concoct a ridiculous rehash that borrows not from Serling but from countless "pod people" flicks. You know, the kind where our hero walks into town and notices that everyone else has turned into automatons. It usually ends with the hero, more or less against his will, becoming a drone. Bad enough we get that - presented here in the form of a mysterious "clinic" that cures people of their lovesick hearts - but because it only gets us two-thirds of the way through the episode, Abrams has to shift gears suddenly to a slightly less weak subplot. I won't spoil any more of it, because most of the audience watching "Felicity" is too young to recall "The Twilight Zone" and so will probably love this episode. (Reruns of "The Twilight Zone," however, are airing noon weekdays on Sci-Fi.) But the old-timers should be warned that this so-called "tribute" lacks any of the bitter humor that was Serling's trademark. Especially the cruel turns of poetic justice, like the man who learns the secret of eternal youth - only to be sentenced to life in prison. Or that classic when Burgess Meredith just wants to be left alone to read and endures an atomic blast o' destruction - only to step on his own eyeglasses. If Abrams really wanted to honor the genius of Rod Serling, he would've gone all the way and used one of his old scripts. My pick would be "The Eye of the Beholder," possibly the most beloved "Twilight Zone" of all time, in which a young woman undergoes numerous plastic surgeries in an attempt to rejoin society. As she emerges from her last cutting, now more beautiful than ever, we finally see the hideous faces of those around her and realize the doctors have failed. Off she goes to the leper colony. I'll bet the "Felicity" crowd would just love that. "Inside the U.S. Mint" is an incomplete title for this one-hour special (7 and 10 tonight, Discovery) that offers a behind-the-scenes view from not just one but three national mints. Most fascinating is the visit to the Royal Canadian Mint, where recently mined gold is boiled, zapped and flattened until it is 99.99 percent pure and ready for coining. To reach Aaron Barnhart, phone (816) 234-4790 or visit the TVBarn Web site at www.tvbarn.com @ART CAPTION:Russell @ART:Photo