Remote patrol

I raved about the last action series that debuted on UPN, "The Strip," and it bombed. So maybe "Secret Agent Man," premiering at 7 tonight on Channel 29, will be a hit because I found it a bewildering mess that insults its viewers. UPN appears to be mastering that trick by the minute. Our agent man is Costas Mandylor, who spends most of this hour squeezed into too-small suits. While espionage-related high jinks play out around him, he tries valiantly not to break a sweat. Flop sweat, I'm guessing, since Mandylor has already starred in "Players," which tanked on NBC, and was kicked off of CBS' "Martial Law." He'd like to concentrate on the luscious women competing for hang time off his pecs. Hey, who wouldn't? But he keeps getting distracted by this pesky worldwide terrorist threat that has thrown the super-secret agency he works for into a tizzy. And there are lots more recycled spy-movie conventions where those came from. @ART CAPTION:Mandylor @ART:Photo (color) >>> CORRECTION: The Remote Patrol item in Tuesday's FYI mistakenly identified Costas Mandylor as a former cast member of the TV show "Martial Law." That was his brother, Louis Mandylor.