Remote patrol

All this week, Showtime unveils new shows and fresh episodes of returning shows. At 9 tonight it's "Beggars and Choosers," the comedy TV critics are supposed to care about because it was created by the late, great NBC executive Brandon Tartikoff and brought to fruition by his widow, Lilly. Not coincidentally, some of the highlights of tonight's second-season premiere revolve around the marriage of TV executive Brian Kerwin and Isabella Hoffmann. Those moments, however, don't salvage the strained office comedy that takes place behind the scenes at a failing third-place TV network. In one scene, Kerwin's vapid lieutenants argue about which one passed on "The Sopranos" - a show that just happens to be on Showtime's rival, HBO. While I appreciate little insider jokes like this, I thought the ones on "The Larry Sanders Show" were a lot sharper, crueller and funnier. Alas for Showtime, that too was an HBO series. @ART CAPTION:Tuc Watkins (left), Charlotte Ross and Brian Kerwin in 'Beggars and Choosers' @ART:Photo (color) >>>