Remote patrol

You have to admire the remaining cellmates, I mean housemates, on "Big Brother" (7 tonight, Channel 5). By now it must be obvious to them that they are creating some of the deadliest television since Newt Gingrich commandeered C-SPAN. And yet none of them - none of them! - chose to leave the Super 8 suite and take the "Greed"-like carrot of $50,000 offered by anchor/huckster Julie Chen. (By the way, Julie, good luck on getting that next job in the news business.) CBS, meanwhile, spent most of an episode last week thrusting a proposed "new housemate" on America. Beth, introduced by a video clip of her frolicking in a bikini, was to step in if someone took the offered 50 G's. Once inside, Beth vowed to break some Ikea furniture and roll some heads. But she never got her chance. The squatters, I mean housemates, are a closed loop. Theirs is the solidarity of the co-dependents. Yeah, right. If I were you, I'd keep an eye on Montel, Maury and Sally. Something tells me "Big Brother Confessions!" will be the hot topic in October. @ART CAPTION:Big Brother @ART:Graphic >>>