Remote patrol weekend

A pair of family-friendly movies have their premieres Sunday. The first stars Leslie Nielsen as an amnesiac Kris Kringle in "Santa Who?" which airs at 6 p.m. during "The Wonderful World of Disney." Nielsen, of course, is better known as Frank Drebin from "The Naked Gun" movies. Just imagine Frank as Santa and it's all you need to know about this one. That's followed at 8 by "Christy: The Movie," on PAX (Channel 50). The first of three movies to air this year, it marks the continuing adaptation of Catherine Marshall's beloved novels. But don't look for Kellie Martin or Tyne Daly, the stars of the 1994 CBS series. Now it's newcomer Lauren Lee Smith playing Christy, the 19-year-old mission-school teacher who descends on the Appalachian hamlet of Cutter Gap in 1912. Watching her every move is the sturdy Quaker overseer Alice (Diane Ladd) as well as two young suitors, one of them a minister played by Sam Waterston's son James. @ART CAPTION:Smith and Ladd @ART:Photo >>>

Remote patrol

"Rage to Revenge" (8 tonight on Discovery) asks the question: Can science help make society less violent? A Missouri man with no criminal past commits second-degree murder; he flew into a frenzy after learning a terrible secret. A woman stalked for three years has a rage so palpable it can be measured. A troubled young man's aggression is seemingly beyond his power to control. Is there medical help for people like them? This special, produced by the BBC, carefully suggests that there is but we don't yet know what it is. A nifty computer model of the brain's neurons illustrate one potential cause: lack of the chemical seratonin, a problem for which Prozac is commonly prescribed. But scientists warn that other, more mysterious factors are also involved, and they're just starting to explore those. This well-balanced program is last in a series of Discovery channel specials about hate and violence. >>>

DAG

Airs: 8:30 p.m., NBC (Channel 41) Stars: David Alan Grier, Delta Burke, Judith Whitman, Sarah Hagan, Lauren Tom, Stephen Dunham, Mel Jackson and Hedy Burress. In brief: Unhappy Secret Service agent (Grier) is reassigned to unhappy first lady (Burke). But is it any good? The very funny opening scene shows that Grier can take a pratfall; judging from the first episode, he'll be taking quite a few of them. In between he'll be taking orders from Burke, who isn't as odd a match for Grier as you might think. And it's not like anyone will have trouble with her presiding over a highly dysfunctional first family. Not the worst sitcom I saw for this fall, but considering the overall low quality of the crop that's not saying much. Is it a survivor? "DAG" could go either way, but having "Frasier" as a lead-in at least ensures it won't get overlooked. @ART CAPTION:Delta Burke and David Alan Grier star in "DAG." @ART CREDIT:NBC @ART:Photo (color) >>>

Remote patrol

With its ratings continuing to slide, "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" is about to take a big step back to ordinary-dom. It is joining "Jeopardy!" and every other quiz show on TV by auditioning contestants for its shows. That may not sound like a big deal, but it is. "Millionaire" (which airs at 7 p.m. Tuesday and Wednesday and 8 p.m. Thursday and Sunday on Channel 9) was special in that it used to choose finalists based solely on merit. Those with the fastest fingers got to play regardless of their age, gender, personality or lack thereof. The fact that those fingers usually belong to white male contestants, however, has long vexed "Millionaire" executive producer Michael Davies. In February he told me, "We white males should not be incredibly proud that we should be so competitive in games of trivia." Davies even vowed to criss-cross the country by airplane if that's what it took to diversify the contestant pool. Sure enough, videotaped auditions wrapped up last week in several cities. Starting in January, you will see "Millionaire" finalists who were chosen for what ABC calls their "poise, sense of humor and television presence." In other words, expect fewer guys in blue oxford shirts and a lot more $1,000 flame-outs. @ART CAPTION:The familiar look of "Millionaire," with host Regis Philbin introducing contestant Michael Lowenstein. @ART:Photo (color) >>>

Remote patrol

"Return With Honor" (8 tonight, Channel 19) told me a story I've heard before - the ordeal of American prisoners of war in Vietnam - but what I saw struck me and moved me in ways I hadn't expected. Through new interviews with several POWs and footage recently obtained from the Vietnamese government, this PBS special gave me a fresh appreciation for what these men endured on their country's behalf. "Return with Honor" profiles several of the war's earliest POWs, lesser-known heroes like Ed Alvarez and Fred Cherry as well as James Stockdale, Jeremiah Denton and John McCain, whose courage helped make them public figures. The film opens with scenes of fighter pilots being trained in the late 1990s. Looking in their eyes, you see the same confidence that once filled the airmen profiled here. That is, until their planes went down and the North Vietnamese went to work trying to break their spirit. But the POWs found ingenious ways to endure the torture and isolation. They got word to the United States of their mistreatment. Faith became the most valuable currency in the camps. Denton became a born-again Christian in captivity. "Return With Honor" will join the work of Alexander Solzhenitsyn and Arthur Koestler as art that shows how the human soul is mysteriously improved through physical suffering. @ART CAPTION:POW Mike McGrath, who spent nearly six years in the Hanoi Hilton, sketched the horrendous conditions and tortures (such as the strapping, above, that dislocated his shoulders). He often begged has captors to kill him so he would not have to endure the suffering. His illustrated story is told in "Return With Honor." @ART:Graphic (illustration) >>>

Remote patrol weekend

The CBS miniseries "An American Tragedy" is supposed to tell us the gripping behind-the-scenes exploits of the legal "dream team" that got O.J. Simpson sprung from murder charges in 1995. But there's not much to grip onto in Part 1, which airs at 8 p.m. Sunday on Channel 5. For its first two hours, this is a docudrama without the drama. The dominant image from Part 1 is a lot of familiar-looking actors assembled around a big round mahogany table, talking to an O.J. impersonator on the speakerphone. As Bismarck once said of democracy, justice - or injustice, depending on your point of view - is a lot like sausage. You don't really want to watch it being made. So instead, you start to notice the little things. Like the fact that throughout "American Tragedy," Simpson is either seen or heard, but rarely both at the same time. That's no accident: They've cast one actor as Simpson's voice (all those speakerphone calls) and another actor who sort of looks like Simpson whenever they need the defendant in the room for a scene. Viewers may also note the ridiculous casting of Bruno Kirby as DNA expert Barry Scheck and the slightly less absurd decision to stuff Ving Rhames into a suit and call him Johnnie Cochran. Ron Silver, who plays lead defender Robert Shapiro, looks like he stole his eyebrows from Sid Caesar. Things will no doubt pick up on Wednesday with Part 2, which is made up mainly of the murder trial. @ART CAPTION:Rhames @ART:Photo >>>

TV networks' pundits seek to make sense of vote tallies

If Election Day is when "the people speak," by election night the nation's TV commentators are the ones doing most of the yapping. But as one of the topsiest-turviest presidential votes in history rolled deep into the wee hours of Wednesday, the networks' priority was figuring out who won. The smarter pundits didn't waste their breath trying to tell us what it all meant. "Speechless," muttered CNN's Jeff Greenfield just minutes after CNN joined all the other networks in putting Florida back in the "too close to call" column. That came an hour after the networks declared Texas Gov. George W. Bush the winner of Florida and thus the presidency. Not. As Rob Reiner, a movie director and backer of Vice President Al Gore, joked to CNN's John King around 3:45 a.m. Wednesday: "You basically said 'Dewey Wins' twice tonight." Hours earlier, it seemed that CNN was the place to be. Led by analysts Greenfield and Bill Schneider and reporters King and Candy Crowley, CNN proved again why it has the smartest, fairest, best-informed team coverage on TV. Watching CNN, you couldn't help but get caught up in the excitement of the vote-counting and even take a little satisfaction that the election was turning out to be as whisper-close as advertised. But CNN also declared winners aggressively, tallying up electoral totals for Bush and Gore faster than any other network. That set the stage for, of all people, Dan Rather at CBS to seize what was quickly becoming an out-of-control story and try to make sense of it before anyone else. Rather was Rather all night, laying on the corn pone extra thick. "Bush has run through Dixie like a boll weevil through a cotton field," he said around 8 p.m. A few minutes later he added, "It's been back and forth all night, the kind of night you tell your grandkids about," which sounded silly at the time but turned out to be highly perceptive. Where Rather earned his gold star was in the evening's third act, starting around 2 a.m. Wednesday, an hour or so after TV had declared Bush the new president. "Hold onto the bedstead, folks," Rather said. His staff had just learned that, instead of winning Florida handily, Bush led Gore by just 629 votes. Rather quickly confirmed the rapidly shrinking gap by finding his way to the Internet site where the state's vote counters had posted the new data. He instantly grasped the meaning of the new numbers. "We could be going to Recount City," he said. "None of this television mumbo jumbo and computer data." While other networks barely comprehended the news at first, CBS reporters fed information to Rather, keeping him several steps ahead of the pack. It was a shining moment for Rather and CBS, though ABC's Peter Jennings - who earlier doubted that Bush had sewn up Florida so soon - also responded well. Certainly Jennings had the sexier set, an expensive new Times Square studio that made him look as if he was host of a fancy election-night cocktail party instead of news coverage. NBC's Tom Brokaw spent much of the night recalling the good old days on the "Today" show and tossing off such bon mots as, "In the Electoral College, the tuition is very high, and it's all pass-fail." But when it really counted, Brokaw flunked. When Florida went up for grabs a second time, Brokaw erroneously declared, "If it goes to Al Gore, (he) still has to win Wisconsin or Oregon to be the new president." Fox News inexplicably lagged a few minutes behind all night. In a couple of state races, its projections were as much as two hours behind. It was that kind of night for Fox, whose election team seemed strangely cut off from the outside world in an eerily quiet studio. And NBC's decision to offer competing coverage on its cable outlet MSNBC seemed ill-advised. Once, Tim Russert was reviewing exit polls that showed Hillary Rodham Clinton scoring big with women voters in New York - just as Forrest Sawyer was doing the same on MSNBC. >>>

Remote patrol

Fox struck Nielsen gold last May with a riveting and disturbing game show called "Challenge of the Child Geniuses: Who Is the Smartest Kid in America?" So now it's back - two parts "Millionaire," one part Dick Clark and three parts creepy child exploitation. "Battle of the Child Geniuses 2" airs at 7 tonight on Channel 4. Assuming things go pretty much the same way this time, the program will begin with a parade of the 40 contestants ages 10-12, telling us his or her hometown (one of them, 12-year-old William Stevens, is from Jefferson City), plus One Amazing Thing about themselves. For instance, the winner of the first "Geniuses" game introduced himself thus: "I scored in the top 2 percent of all college-bound high school seniors when I recently took the ACTs." As that boast suggests, "Geniuses" never questions that there might be other measures of intelligence besides standardized test scores. But like they say about the Nielsen ratings, until someone comes up with a better way to measure intelligence, this is the one we're stuck with. >>>

Remote patrol

If, as Napoleon Bonaparte once said, "My life is a novel," the new four-hour PBS special "Napoleon" is a sweeping, beautifully illustrated, overly long, turgidly written, nearly impenetrable yawner of a novel. It's a massive coffee-table miniseries, the kind meant to be shown off rather than actually consumed. "Napoleon," airing in two parts beginning at 8 tonight on Channel 19, is expertly narrated (as usual) by David McCullough. Part 1, however, plods unimaginatively through Bonaparte's ascent in the French military. The only relief comes when the program explores Bonaparte's peculiar insider-outsider status in French society (he was born in Corsica and began life as a Francophobe). By contrast, the season premiere of "South Park" (9, Comedy Central), is a trashy novella lacking even an iota of historical import or social uplift, to say nothing of good taste. And I ate it up. Send the kiddies out of the room and watch as the "South Park" gang enter the fourth grade kicking and screaming and other things I can't describe in print. Watch as their new teacher shows off a couple more things I can't describe in print. And find out what personal breakthrough their old teacher, Mr. Garrison, makes while stuck in a petrified tree. @ART CAPTION:Meet the new fourth grade teacher on "South Park" tonight. @ART:Photo (color) >>>

Remote patrol

HBO Latino rolled out last week on Time Warner Cable and Comcast, the first Spanish-language premium cable network to serve Kansas City. Of course, while watching HBO you can listen to the Spanish audio track for several movies and specials by clicking the SAP (secondary audio program) button on your TV, VCR or cable box. But HBO Latino is promising a large menu of movies and documentaries from Latin America, Mexico and Spain that haven't been seen on HBO or any other U.S. channel before. Upcoming HBO Latino fare includes Spanish-language music videos and several programs featuring singing sensation Marc Anthony. Also today, in case you wondered who still watches "The Rosie O'Donnell Show" (2 p.m., Channel 41), her guest list might give you some idea. Today O'Donnell spends the entire hour with 'N Sync. She spends the whole hour with the Backstreet Boys Nov. 20 and the same with Ricky Martin on the day after Thanksgiving. Boy oh boy oh boy band. @ART CAPTION:Marc Anthony @ART:Photo (color) >>>

Remote patrol

Hallmark's Odyssey channel this week airs two epics from the father of the mini-series, Alex Haley: "Roots," which remains one of TV's greatest achievements, and "Queen," which first aired in 1993, a year after Haley's death. "Queen" begins at 8 tonight. "Queen" stars Halle Berry as the illegitimate child born to a slave woman and a plantation owner's son. As the Civil War ends, Queen finds herself unable to assimilate into either black or white society. In time her youthful idealism turns to resentment and anger. But there is a happy ending as Queen gives birth and watches her offspring succeed in the world - including Haley, who based "Queen" on his paternal grandmother's story. "Roots" will air in two big gulps from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday and Nov. 18. @ART CAPTION:Tim Daly with Halle Berry in 'Queen' @ART:Photo >>>

Truth told; 'X-Files' has secrets to spill, and not all on camera

We've got a few questions about tonight's episode of "The X-Files" as the show begins its eighth (and possibly final) season on Fox: First, how are they going to replace one of the show's two seemingly irreplaceable stars, David Duchovny, who signed a one-year contract that will require him to appear in only a few episodes this season? How do they intend to keep our interest after a season in which many of the show's long-running story lines were finally sewn up? Are there still more gimmick episodes in our future, like the ones last season that inserted Scully (Gillian Anderson) and Mulder (Duchovny) into a taping of "Cops" and had Garry Shandling and Tea Leoni play them in a movie? And what's the deal with that drill going into Duchovny's mouth? If nothing else, we'll tune in just to find out The Truth behind that two-second clip, played over and over in commercials that aired during the World Series, showing some kind of involuntary oral surgery being performed on Mulder. I know this will shock you, but few if any answers to these questions will be furnished tonight when "The X-Files" returns at 8 on Channel 4. Nor will we know much more when the two-part season premiere concludes next Sunday. So it appears that TV's longest-running and weirdest manhunt - or alien-hunt, whatever - will continue for another full season. But the vanishing of Mulder raises the stakes in the paranormal pursuit. Did it ever seem like no one else at the FBI cared what happened to the X-Files? That has changed in a hurry now that one of the agency's own is missing. Which brings us to what was likely the year's most suspenseful "X-Files" moment. Last spring, it seemed the Fox network was teetering on whether Duchovny would agree to play Mulder for at least another season. Eventually he did, but on such a restricted schedule that a new partner for Scully was needed. (Look for Duchovny in about half of this season's episodes, many of those minor appearances.) Enter Robert Patrick, perhaps best known as the futuristic robot T-1000 in "Terminator 2." He plays Doggett, a streetwise former cop brought in by FBI higher-ups because Scully and her boss, Skinner (Mitch Pileggi), were both witnesses to the alien kidnapping of Mulder in last season's finale. "Witnesses," as we soon learn from the chisel-faced Doggett, is bureauspeak for "suspects." Though a cloud of suspicion hangs over them, Scully and Skinner can't do much to clear their names. As usual, the aliens they are pursuing have made off with nearly all physical evidence of their chicanery. No one has a clue where Mulder went when he was sucked into the aliens' force field. Scully has premonitions, however, that it can't be a very nice place. (Maybe she was watching the World Series, too.) On top of which, Scully is pregnant. By whom - or what - we're not told. Mulder's disappearance, and the circumstances under which it happened, have altered the familiar chemistry of "The X-Files." Scully, once the scientific skeptic, has become the true believer. Nor can Skinner deny he saw what he saw, either. So now it's the new guy's turn to be the designated doubter. "You know, Agent Scully," growls Doggett in next week's episode, "you're starting to remind me of Agent Mulder yourself." In other words, the more things change, the more they adhere to "X-Files" creator Chris Carter's time-tested television formula. But longtime fans of the show will be forgiven for wondering if this isn't simply the re-arranging of deck chairs aboard a sinking ship. Anderson, who has signed through next season, is itching to get out of her contract. She's a fine actress, as you may have seen in the 1998 film "Playing by Heart," and as recently as last month she told a British newspaper she'd like to try other things besides TV. Duchovny, it would seem, has signed his last contract to play Mulder. And, of course, Nielsen will be the judge of whether Patrick returns for another season. So once again, the climactic scenes in one of TV's most influential drama series will likely be played out next spring not on camera but in closed-door meetings between Carter, the Fox network and the show's reluctant stars, our Bogey and Bacall for a cerebral, agnostic era. To reach Aaron Barnhart, phone (816) 234-4790 or visit the TV Barn Web site at www.tvbarn.com @ART CAPTION:"T2" veteran Robert Patrick (left) joins the cast of "The X-Files" as Gillian Anderson searches for David Duchovny, above, who was last seen being abducted by aliens. @ART CREDIT:Photos courtesy of Fox @ART CAPTION:Robert Patrick (left) joins Gillian Anderson and Mitch Pileggi this season on "The X-Files." @ART:Photos (4, color) >>>

Remote patrol weekend

It's pretty safe to say which presidential candidate the folks at Matt Groening's cartoon complex will be supporting Tuesday. Vice President Al Gore made an appearance in an episode of Groening's "Futurama" last season; now, on Sunday's episode of "The Simpsons" (7 p.m., Channel 4), we'll see Bart scrawling on the blackboard, "I will not plant subliminAL messaGOREs." That is the nadir of an otherwise apolitical and mostly enjoyable 250th episode to begin the animated sitcom's 12th season on Fox. Members of the Who lend their voices to the episode, in which Homer leads a citywide rebellion after learning that Springfield has been split into two area codes. Only a needlessly grim couple of scenes at the end prevent this classic-rock episode from being considered a classic "Simpsons." @ART CAPTION:Homer rocks Sunday @ART:Photo >>>

An (almost) event-free sweeps

How tough has it been for the TV networks this autumn? They canceled the World Series after just five episodes! Seriously, there's a reason this year's fall classic was the lowest-rated ever, and it had nothing to do with the two teams' overlapping area codes. There are more shows for a wider variety of tastes on TV than ever before, which means baseball - once a "television event" - has become just another option for channel surfers. Nor will there be many more "events" between now and the end of the year. Tonight is the beginning of the November "sweep," usually a time when the networks air big-budget specials to super-size their audience and impress advertisers. But with few exceptions - notably two mini-series Nov. 12, including one about the O.J. Simpson murder trial - there will be relatively few sweep "events" this month and even fewer pre-emptions of existing shows. There's another reason this November may seem less than special: The fall season started so late - the delay caused, of course, by NBC's coverage of the Sydney Olympics. Now there's a show they should've pulled after five episodes. All that said, there's not exactly a shortage of sweep-related programming. Below are the highlights, summarized week-by-week: Week 1 Week 1 of the sweeps is highlighted by the return of Fox's Sunday-night lineup, with new episodes of "The Simpsons," "Malcolm in the Middle" and "The X-Files" (Sunday); a Babs-gabs edition of "20/20," in which Barbara Walters interviews Barbra Streisand (ABC, Friday); and a four-hour CBS miniseries, "Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis," adapted from a biography of the same name (Sunday and Wednesday). Also, NAACP president Kweisi Mfume appears on a special "Moesha" on election eve to urge civic participation (UPN, Monday). And TV demonstrates once again its appetite for high and low culture when a two-part documentary on the life of Napoleon begins Wednesday on PBS, while "The Growing Pains Movie," a reunion of the dopey '80s sitcom, airs Sunday on ABC during "The Wonderful World of Disney." Week 2 Week 2 features what may be the month's most talked-about special: "American Tragedy," a fact-based account of what happened behind the scenes at O.J. Simpson's murder trial (CBS, Nov. 12 and 15). Ving Rhames plays defense lawyer Johnnie Cochran in the miniseries based on a Norman Mailer adaptation of Lawrence Schiller's book. Because "American Tragedy" focuses on the strategies and rivalries of Cochran and his fellow defenders - Bob Shapiro (Ron Silver), F. Lee Bailey (Christopher Plummer), Alan Dershowitz (Richard Cox) and Barry Scheck (Bruno Kirby) - we actually won't hear much from Raymond Forchion, the actor who sort of looks like O.J. "American Tragedy" will compete against "In the Beginning" (NBC, Nov. 12-13), a four-hour epic that re-enacts famous stories from the books of Genesis and Exodus. The cast includes Martin Landau as Abraham and Jacqueline Bisset as Sarah. Tag-team horror shows "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel" stage a crossover-episode stunt (WB, Nov. 14) that marks the return of Drusilla (Juliet Landau, daughter of Martin). Week 3 Week 3 sees Cher dropping in on "Will & Grace" and, later that same night, Sally Field beginning a multi-episode guest turn on "ER" (NBC, Nov. 16) as Maura Tierney's mom. Warm up the VCR for Nov. 19 when the much-missed "Christy" series returns for three TV movies, the "Hallmark Hall of Fame" returns, and someone finally casts Leslie Nielsen in the role of Santa Claus (we thought they never would). A new cast stars in "Christy: Return to Cutter Gap" (PAX), based on the 1994 CBS show. "Hall of Fame" presents "The Lost Child," starring Mercedes Ruehl as an adopted Navajo woman who rediscovers her roots (CBS). And "Santa Who?" puts the bumbling star of the "Naked Gun" films in a big red suit (ABC). Week 4 Week 4 leads off with two specials, one featuring the boyish aardvark "Arthur" on PBS, the other with country superstar Faith Hill on CBS (both Nov. 23). The three or four of you who missed "Titanic" can catch it again on NBC (Nov. 26). And NBC airs its "Christmas in Rockefeller Center" special Nov. 29. To reach Aaron Barnhart, phone (816) 234-4790 or visit the TV Barn Web site at www.tvbarn.com @ART CAPTION:Clockwise from top: Ruben Santiago Hudson, Ving Rhames and Darryl A. Reed in "American Tragedy"; Martin Landau, "In the Beginning"; "Napoleon"; Leslie Nielsen, "Santa Who?"; Joanne Whalley, "Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis." @ART:Photos (5, color) @ART CREDIT:KATHY AMERMAN @ART CREDIT:NBC @ART CREDIT:Reunion Des Musees Nationaux @ART CREDIT:PETER STRANKS @ART CREDIT:JOHN SEAKWOOD/CBS >>>

Remote patrol

The firefighter tragedy that touched the nation last December is relived in a moving "48 Hours" at 7 tonight on Channel 5. Six men died in the acrid smoke of a huge, windowless industrial building in Worcester, Mass. Their comrades spent eight sleepless days and nights digging through the rubble for their bodies. President Clinton joined more than 30,000 firefighters from around the world at the funeral. CBS re-created that terrible week using video footage and interviews with the survivors. One in particular, the father of 34-year-old firefighter Jay Lyons, will break your heart. What touched so many people about the tragedy is that the firefighters had gone into the building to rescue two homeless persons that reportedly slept there. In fact, the couple had left the building, but not before accidentally setting the fatal blaze. It is what happens after criminal charges are filed against the homeless couple - and a dramatic twist brought about by publicity of their trial - that makes for an equally compelling second half-hour. @ART CAPTION:Firefighters try in vain to control the blaze that killed six of their comrades. @ART:Photo (color) >>>

New on the tube

Normal, Ohio Airs: 7:30 p.m., Fox (Channel 4) Stars: John Goodman, Joely Fisher, Greg Pitts, Anita Gillette, Cody Kasch, Julia McIlvaine, Mo Gaffney, Charles Rocket, Orson Bean. In brief: "Love, Sidney" meets "Roseanne" in this sitcom about a divorced dad who moves back to the Midwest four years after coming out of the closet. But is it any good? When a short preview of this series was shown to advertisers in the spring, it seemed depictions of gay people on TV were about to be set back 20 years. But thanks to a summer overhaul by Bonnie and Terry Turner (who also created "3rd Rock" and "That '70s Show"), "Normal, Ohio" became more complex and funnier. In fact, it's the fall's best new sitcom. Goodman basically uses the same persona he had on "Roseanne" (he may even be using the same clothes), but in playing a gay divorced dad, his character is transformed. The show is partly what you'd expect from Hollywood - gay man exchanges verbal fire with homophobic middle Americans - but the two episodes I watched also talked about divorce, infidelity and the responsibilities parents have to their kids. A normal sitcom in many ways, "Normal, Ohio" is just different enough to keep you interested. Despite the large cast, Goodman is indisputably in charge of every scene and helps the show really crackle. Is it a survivor? If "Normal, Ohio" dies, it will be because of the schedule. Fox has never aired a sitcom on Wednesday nights. But perhaps Goodman's star power, heavy promotion during the World Series and the show's unusual premise will be enough to lure viewers. For extra insurance, Fox will air a new Halloween episode of "The Simpsons" at 7 p.m. The $treet Airs: 8 p.m., Fox (Channel 4) Stars: Tom Everett Scott, Jennifer Connelly, Adam Goldberg, Nina Garbiras, Christian Campbell, Sean Maher, Melissa De Sousa, Rick Hoffman and Bridgette Wilson. In brief: Soapy stock-market drama about traders who work hard and play harder. But is it any good? Situated inside the crass fraternity of young financial traders, "The $treet" wants us to be impressed by billion-dollar stock offerings, lavish nightly parties and the idea of Adam Goldberg falling for a dominatrix. I'm not sure which of those three is more revolting. Is it a survivor? Only if every generation of teen-agers needs a "Melrose Place." @ART CAPTION:John Goodman stars in "Normal, Ohio." @ART:Photo (color) @ART CREDIT:2000 Fox Broadcasting >>>

Remote patrol

The Nielsen ratings suggest I am in a small, and getting smaller, group of viewers mesmerized by the new Andre Braugher medical drama "Gideon's Crossing" (9 tonight, Channel 9). What a shame. It seems America would rather watch the same frenzied trauma-unit melodrama play out week after week, year after year on "ER" and a batch of cable "reality" shows than a program that intelligently looks at the moral and spiritual issues behind health care today. Ben Gideon (Braugher) is more than a gifted cancer surgeon. He's a teacher who offers his life as an open textbook to his students. He allows his own suffering to make him a more compassionate doctor. At the same time he's not uncomfortable with the godlike status accorded to the modern-day physician. In fact, he enjoys throwing his weight around with uncaring hospital bureaucrats and his own staff of somewhat clueless residents. Last week's episode was an intricately written threesome of stories. One pitted Gideon against an HMO physician who had misdiagnosed a cleaning lady's cancer, another brought Gideon face-to-face with problems at home he'd been ignoring, and the third concerned a mysterious ailment affecting a young Korean-American violin prodigy - and her secret Chinese boyfriend. What was so satisfying about the episode was the way all three narratives gradually overlapped and interwove. Braugher, by the way, is a pleasure both to watch and to hear. But perhaps not for much longer. Since its debut "Gideon's" has been losing audience; last week it finished fourth in its time period. @ART CAPTION:Braugher @ART:Photo (color) >>>

Late-night TV pioneer Steve Allen dies at 78

Steve Allen ad-libbed his way to fame as an innovator in TV's golden age, then added to his legend with a staggering output of songs, books and public appearances that continued until his death on Monday at the age of 78. He died at the Encino, Calif., home of his son, Bill Allen, The Associated Press reported. His wife of 46 years, Jayne Meadows, rushed from their nearby home. "He said he was a little tired after dinner," Bill Allen said. "He went to relax, peacefully, and never reawakened." The son of vaudeville comedians, Allen was essentially a jazzman of comedy. As the first host of the "Tonight Show," he would wander from the piano to the desk to the studio audience. He entertained viewers by simply reading the newspaper, or playing a tune he'd improvised earlier that day. By keeping America up past its bedtime, Allen defined an entire genre of television. Last month he was in Lawrence for "Steve Allen Tonight," where he played with a jazz trio, reminisced and showed video highlights from his early days in television. In recent years two ideas came to dominate his public thought: Americans were becoming less intelligent and their mass entertainment was growing more vulgar, even threatening to the well-being of society. Allen became honorary chairman for a campaign that placed full-page ads with his picture and the stern declaration, "TV Is Leading Children Down a Moral Sewer." The ad appeared more than 1,000 times in newspapers, including The Kansas City Star. But while he yearned to be taken seriously as an intellectual and social critic, Allen will always be remembered best for his contributions to early television. In 1945, he arrived in Los Angeles, with a pregnant wife and young son in tow, to pursue a career in radio. In 1947 Allen landed a music-talk show on KNX. When a celebrity guest, Doris Day, failed to show up for an interview, Allen picked up his microphone and wandered into the studio audience for the first time. Before long the entire format of the program had shifted to this unique and ultimately influential brand of "found comedy." By 1953 he had taken his act to New York and the fledgling medium of television. The following year NBC offered him a nightly, 105-minute live window to America. Entitled "Tonight!" it featured Skitch Henderson and a band performing the theme song, "This Could Be the Start of Something Big," which Allen wrote. Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme first crooned to a national audience on his show, and Allen soon developed a stable of comedic sidekicks known for their straight-faced lunacy. Louis Nye, Don Knotts, Tom Poston and Tim Conway - who made his debut by stumbling fully clothed into a swimming pool - were all given their big break by Allen. After his first marriage ended in divorce, Allen was introduced at a dinner party in 1952 to Jayne Meadows. Instantly smitten, he proposed to her the following year, and the two collaborated from then on in show business as well as in life. Though an atheist, Allen was a passionate believer in the gospel of self-improvement. He read voraciously and tried to impart his knowledge to others through his writings. It was his determination to be heard on topics that mattered to him that led to his final crusade: getting Hollywood to clean up its act. Though Allen was not opposed to adult-oriented entertainment, he felt it belonged on pay cable and in nightclubs, not on broadcast TV or in movies aimed at teen-agers. Eventually news reports of Allen's remarks made their way to the desk of conservative activist L. Brent Bozell III. Bozell called on Allen, and at the end of their meeting Allen had agreed to become honorary chairman of the Parents Television Council. Last month, in an interview with The Star's Robert W. Butler, Allen lauded recent efforts by the government to shame the industry into changing their ways. "It's quite rare to have agreement between the Democratic and Republican parties, the Senate and House and the White House," Allen said. "The only ones who don't agree are those who are making millions in profits. They lied, knew they were lying, got up and lied in front of the public. They knew they were selling poison, and they lied about it." To reach Aaron Barnhart, phone (816) 234-4790 or visit the TV Barn Web site at www.tvbarn.com @ART CAPTION:Allen @ART:Photo (color) >>>