Inspired 'Faith' could have legs

'Leap of Faith' Airs: 7:30 tonight, NBC (Channel 41) Stars: Sarah Paulson, Jill Clayburgh, Lisa Edelstein, Regina King, Ken Marino, Tim Meadows, Brad Rowe Why watch it? You've spent half your adult life waiting for something to watch after "Friends." After a string of forgettable flops - "Union Square," "Inside Schwartz" and many other sitcoms I've tried to blot out of memory - along comes this terrific little comedy about dating and advertising. Yes, the premise is shopworn - Faith (Paulson) is a bride-to-be who gets cold feet after bedding another guy - and alert viewers will recognize elements here that were clearly cribbed from "Ally McBeal" and "Sex and the City" (the show's creator is a former "Sex" writer-producer). Still, "Leap of Faith" has its own voice: The patter is snappier than on "Ally" and sweeter than on "Sex." Clayburgh is great as Faith's haughty mommy, and Faith's underworked boss at the ad agency is a part tailor-made for Meadows. "Leap" might be the ideal next-generation NBC sitcom. If audiences agree, look for it to take the place of "Friends" two autumns from now. @ART CAPTION:"Leap of Faith" stars (from left): Lisa Edelstein, Sarah Paulson, Regina King and Ken Marino. @ART:Photo @ART CREDIT:NBC

TV's March madness; The final four...and one more It's a slam dunk. Our TV critic picks the winners in this unusually loaded month

Because NBC spent most of February presenting the Winter Games, the other TV networks held off showing most of their new programs or specials until March. Now they - and we - are living in a late-winter wonderland. In fact, there are so many worthy choices coming up, viewers may find themselves having to pick a winner - not unlike that college basketball tournament that traditionally swings into action in March. Here are what look to be the best of the month. ROUGHING IT Mark Twain's Western travels are re-created in this charming adventure recalled by an old Sam Clemens (James Garner). 7 p.m. March 16, Hallmark (4 hours; repeats 3 p.m. March 17) THE SHIELD Michael Chiklis ("The Commish") plays a corrupt cop who always gets his man. Somehow this raw and rugged show gets you to pull for him. 9 p.m. Tuesdays beginning March 12, FX HBO SIX FEET UNDER The ongoing story of love and death at a family-run funeral home returns for what should be a second terrific season. 8 p.m. Sundays beginning this weekend, Peter Krause and Rachel Griffiths star in the HBO series. THE WAYNE BRADY SHOW Old-fashioned variety sketch series returns with a song in its heart. KC native Brooke Dillman (with Brady)co-stars, more Carol Burnett-like than ever. 7:30 p.m. Mondays beginning next week, ABC MONICA IN BLACK AND WHITE Surprisingly sympathetic and absorbing Q&A between Monica Lewinsky and mostly friendly audience. 9 p.m. this Sunday, HBO THE SWEET 16 "State of Grace " 7 p.m. Fridays beginning 3/1, ABC Family Return of the warm-hearted show about two girls from different backgrounds living in 1965. "Crossed Over" 8 p.m. Sunday 3/3 on CBS Touchy-feely movie about a pickax murderer? Jennifer Jason Leigh plays Karla Faye Tucker, whom Texas famously executed in 1999; Diane Keaton plays a bereaving mom touched by the death-row inmate. "Biography: 15 Years and Counting" 7 p.m. Monday 3/4, A&E The series that defined cheap cable documentaries looks back on some of its most memorable celebrity bios. "The Osbournes" 9:30 p.m. Tuesdays beginning 3/5, MTV Rocker Ozzy, his foul-mouthed wife and kids let MTV cameras follow them around in what may be the ultimate reality show. "The Laramie Project" 7 p.m. Saturday 3/9, HBO Based on Moises Kaufman's play about the killing of Matthew Shepard, this unconventional movie depicts a clash of perspectives among residents of the Wyoming town where he died. (Check this Sunday's Arts section for a story on the TV movie.) "A Season on the Brink" 7 p.m. Sunday 3/10, ESPN Author John Feinstein doesn't agree, but I thought this adaptation of his 1987 book about coach Bob Knight was balanced and entertaining. Brian Dennehy is great as the volatile Knight. "9/11" 8 p.m. Sunday 3/10, CBS Robert De Niro introduces this never-before-seen film shot at the World Trade Center during the Sept. 11 attacks. Exploitation or public service? CBS hopes you'll tune in and decide for yourself. "American Embassy" 8 p.m. Mondays beginning 3/11, Fox Despite the "West Wing" packaging, this dramedy about life and love at the U.S. Embassy in London seems closer to "Ally McBeal," the show it's temporarily shoving aside. "Amazing Race 2" 9 p.m. Mondays beginning 3/11, CBS (episodes re-air on UPN) The first version of this round-the-world treasure hunt had its moments, but contestants were poor sports. Let's hope this batch does America prouder. "The Execution of Wanda Jean" 9 p.m. Sunday 3/17, HBO Chilling documentary about a black woman put to death in Oklahoma despite questions about her mental capacity. "Snow White" 6 p.m. Sunday 3/17, ABC Hallmark Entertainment's special effects-filled update of the Grimms' classic tale is gorgeous to behold but a little creepy and perhaps hard for young viewers to follow. "Andy Richter Controls the Universe" 7:30 p.m. Tuesdays beginning 3/19, Fox Conan O'Brien's former sideman plays a dead-end office drone with a lively imagination in this clever fantasy-laden comedy. "Startup.Com" 8 p.m. Friday 3/22, Sundance Intimate documentary chronicles two chums who dream of making millions on a dot-com idea - and what happens when they don't. "74th Academy Awards" 7:30 p.m. Sunday 3/24, ABC With Whoopi Goldberg as host, suspense will run high as viewers wait to see who wins this wide-open Oscar race - and whether Good Whoopi or Bad Whoopi will show up. "Taxicab Confessions" 9 p.m. Sunday 3/24, HBO Back to (where else?) Las Vegas as the most voyeuristic show on TV takes viewers for rides with strippers, a frank-talking gay man and others. "Greg the Bunny" 8:30 p.m. Wednesdays beginning 3/27, Fox This outta-left-field comedy believes that behind every successful kids' TV show you'll find an unhappy bunch of puppets. To reach Aaron Barnhart, phone (816) 234-4790 or visit the TV Barn Web site at www.tvbarn.com. And the other contenders are Tonight: "Leap of Faith" on NBC (see capsule) and the premiere of "Survivor IV: Marquesas" on CBS. Sunday: "Jeremiah," a sci-fi series with Luke Perry and former Cosby kid Malcolm-Jamal Warner, begins on Showtime while the Travel Channel kicks off a week of specials about sun, sand and surf called "Beach Week." Monday: "Dora the Explorer" goes prime time for Nickelodeon, and "Being," a new documenatary series on being a rock star, starts on VH1. Tuesday: "As If" and "The Random Years" join the UPN lineup. March 9: "Joe and Max," the story of Joe Louis and Max Schmeling on Starz. March 10: "Firestarter: Rekindled" miniseries on the Sci-Fi Channel; America Undercover on HBO looks at "Gladiator Days" and "Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister" is a new twist on Cinderella on ABC. March 13: "Guilt by Association" with Mercedes Ruehl has the distinction of being the first original movie on Court TV. March 16: NBC turns out its "The Matthew Shepard Story." March 17: "The Believer," a past grand jury winner at the Sundance Film Festival, has its premiere on Showtime; A&E looks at "New York at the Movies." March 22: The new Nick Jr. toon "Chalkzone" starts. March 26: "Redeemer" with Matthew Modine starts on USA. March 29: A different kind of reality show on CBS as real pilots compete for aerial superiority in "AFP: American Fighter Pilot." It was taped before Sept. 11. Newer cable channels On Time Warner Cable, ABC Family is seen on Channel 48, FX on Channel 62, Hallmark on Channel 61 and Sundance on Channel 265. For those of you who can't recall ever watching UPN, it's Channel 7. Comcast customers should check their lineup cards as channel assignments vary depending on location. @ART CAPTION:Tattie McKee (Faye Grant) will continue to work on her relationship with her daughter (Mae Whitman) on the new season of "State of Grace." @ART CREDIT:ABC Family @ART CAPTION:Roughing It; The Shield; Six Feet Under; The Wayne Brady Show; Monica in Black and White @ART:Photos (6, color and b/w)

Watch 'Ellie' at your own risk

'Watching Ellie' Airs: 7:30 tonight, NBC (Channel 41); episode repeats next week Stars: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Lauren Bowles, Darren Boyd, Steve Carell, Don Lake, Peter Stormare What is it? Comedy about a nightclub singer and the oddball men in her life. Why watch it? Because you like to see former "Seinfeld" stars go down in flames. This excruciating-to-watch comedy has no laugh track and, coincidentally, no laughs. The gimmick is a timer in the bottom left-hand corner that counts down the time until the episode is over. Thus, bored viewers can amuse themselves calculating how long Louis-Dreyfus' breasts wobble in nothing but a brassiere (4 minutes 15 seconds), how long before one of her male co-stars comments on them (8 minutes 35 seconds) or how much network time Louis-Dreyfus is given to prove that her character, Ellie, can sing jazz (66 seconds). Throw in some painfully bad slapstick, dialogue inspired by sixth-graders (typical comeback: "Well, yeah") and a cast of supporting characters only somewhat more unlikable than Ellie herself and you have an aimless mess of a show. It takes nearly 10 minutes for one of the characters to comment, "This is just a disaster." Watch the clock - you'll be saying it a lot sooner. @ART CAPTION:Julia Louis-Dreyfus @ART:Photo (color)

New 'Under' tops list of TV worth watching

The Winter Games came to an end Sunday night at an emotional ceremony in which - I thought this was touching - a network executive removed the five Olympic rings from the NBC logo. Now back to our regularly scheduled programs: "Six Feet Under," which led my list of 10-best shows last year, returns for what already promises to be a mesmerizing second season at 8 p.m. Sunday on HBO. (Episodes repeat 9 p.m. Mondays on HBO Plus.) Has there ever been another television show in which one of the main characters gets killed off in the first episode? Richard Jenkins is listed as a regular cast member of "Six Feet Under," yet ever since he said hello to Mister Oncoming Bus in the series premiere, he hasn't exactly been himself. Instead, he has been a ghost, appearing in every episode, having conversations with his family members, none of whom seems bothered by the fact that he is dead. But then, the Fisher family - whose home doubles as a funeral parlor - has an unusual bond with the deceased. Each episode of "Six Feet Under" begins with someone expiring (this week's drug-related death of a little-known movie actress is one of the more gruesome exits we've seen). And many of the scenes take place in the embalming room, the sales office and the visitation room, as mourners and morticians pass through the Fisher domicile in parallel streams that rarely intersect. The Fishers have their own problems, mostly matters of the beating, living heart. David (Michael C. Hall) is out of the closet, but companionless. Nate (Peter Krause) and Brenda (Rachel Griffiths) seem to be heading to an impasse. And what's the deal with Mom (Frances Conroy) and the Russian flower guy (Ed O'Ross)? Then you have the apparition-patriarch flitting in and out, commenting on the chaos, passing along little life lessons. Is he just a figment of his widow's and children's imaginations? A projection of their own fears about death? You be the judge. "Six Feet Under" creator Alan Ball's style leaves it up to the viewers to interpret scenes however they wish. That's high respect for his audience and what makes each episode of this show - like every tombstone - uniquely memorable. Readers have been asking what happened to "State of Grace." They're worried that the Family Channel - which became Fox Family and then, late last year, ABC Family - had canceled this family-friendly comedy. In fact, "State of Grace" just didn't appear in reruns, and it got a booster shot in the off-season. The network's new ownership ordered 13 new episodes for year two, which begins 7 p.m. Friday on ABC Family and continues for 26 weeks. That's four more episodes than the usual sitcom gets. But this isn't your usual sitcom. It doesn't have a laugh track. It's squeaky-clean. It takes place in 1965. And it's safe to say that most of the show's young viewers have never seen two families like the Rayburns (immigrant Jews transplanted to North Carolina) and the McKees (rich Southern WASPs) on TV before. "State of Grace" has a good ear for nostalgia, as evidenced by this week's episode, which accurately captures the thrill of getting that first color television set - I mean, color console. ABC Family's new Friday-night lineup has "State of Grace" leading into an "According to Jim" repeat, followed by an "Alias" repeat. The case of Antonio Richardson, who was sentenced to death row for two St. Louis County murders in 1991, is documented on "The System," airing at 10 p.m. Saturday on Court TV. Although considered borderline mentally retarded, Richardson was to die in March 2001 before constitutional questions about his execution were raised. Missouri has since outlawed putting the mentally disabled to death. Attention creationists: Make sure you have that "Dear Station Manager" letter handy. This week's "Nova" follows a group of researchers as they prove - allegedly! - the "missing link" between fish and land animals that is a key assumption of evolution theory (7 p.m. Tuesday, KCPT and Topeka's KTWU). If last week's "Glutton Bowl 1" left you hungering for more, sink your teeth into "Gut Busters," a documentary about the rapidly expanding sport of "competitive eating." It weighs in 8 p.m. Sunday on Discovery, followed, intriguingly, by "Cannibalism: The Last Taboo?" E! just added the "British Academy Film Awards" to its schedule. The "BAFTAs," airing 7 p.m. Saturday on E!, could be a predictor of which movies will win Oscars, since so many of her majesty's subjects are up for Academy Awards. To reach Aaron Barnhart, phone (816) 234-4790 or visit the TV Barn Web site at www.tvbarn.com @ART CAPTION:Peter Krause and Rachel Griffiths star in HBO's "Six Feet Under," returning for its second season Sunday. @ART:Photo (color) @ART CREDIT:HBO

His Bias betrays him; Former CBS newsman's good ideas are overshadowed by personal swipes

Bernard Goldberg's Bias has been a bit of an anomaly. The former CBS newsman's diatribe against a liberal-slanted news media has been on The New York Times nonfiction list for weeks. Yet it has failed to inspire the kind of substantive discussion that often accompanies a provocative, idea-driven best seller. For example, when professor Allan Bloom's polemic The Closing of the American Mind went No. 1 in the late 1980s, the book's success generated months of lively debate about several of Bloom's claims about academic life, spirituality - even the merits of rock 'n' roll. The difference seems to be that unlike Bloom's book, Bias has so far failed to generate much excitement among those who disagree with its conclusions. Goldberg's fire of resentment against his former employer and his brimstone of outrage against the sins of TV news has played well among the conservative faithful (to which, ironically, he claims not to belong). Indeed, the editor of National Review Online urged readers to buy Goldberg's book even though he confessed he hadn't actually read it yet. Nonconservatives, however, have at best drizzled the book with tepid praise. Janet Maslin, reviewing Bias for The New York Times, wrote that the book "should be taken seriously," then proceeded to brush off so many of Goldberg's arguments as to leave not much serious material to take. Many critics have been less charitable. The Washington Post's TV critic, Tom Shales, bypassed the book and zeroed in on the author, describing Goldberg as a "no-talent hack" and a "role model" for "disgruntled has-beens everywhere." Eric Alterman, writing in The Nation, wrote that Goldberg's book contains "little more than one idiotic accusation after another." In fact, there is a great deal of analysis in Bias that the mainstream media ought to be chewing over. So why aren't they? My guess is that most critics never got to that part of the book. By my count, 72 of the 234 pages of Bias, including the introduction and first three chapters, are devoted to settling a score with Dan Rather, whom Goldberg accuses of sandbagging his career. In 1996, after "complaining privately about bias at CBS News for years," Goldberg took his grievance public, in an op-ed article for The Wall Street Journal that singled out for criticism a piece on the "CBS Evening News" that made fun of the Steve Forbes flat-tax proposal. Rather immediately dropped Goldberg as a contributor, and Goldberg's name was soon mud all around the network. After 28 years, he called it quits in 2000. Obviously such a story has instant appeal to Dan-haters everywhere. You can't blame Goldberg for leading with it. But it was a mistake to spend a third of this book on it. In no time Goldberg is mired in a muck of strained levity, emotional dishonesty and behavior unbecoming a network newsman. He hotly denies having a "feud" with the star anchor, yet five pages later (in the book's most talked-about phrase) refers to Rather's loyal lieutenants as his "bitches." This includes the current president of CBS News, Andrew Heyward. He also compares Rather to a crime boss who could have you "whacked" if you crossed him (which Goldberg, of course, did). In one especially tortured passage on page 21, Goldberg flip-flops between asserting that Rather "didn't tolerate dissent" and then lamely claiming that he never thought his Wall Street Journal piece would put him on the outs with "The Dan." He whimpers that he "wasn't trying to be a martyr," especially over "a lousy piece on the evening news." Yet when a Journal editor tells Goldberg his op-ed will run on Tuesday, he recalls saying, "Be prepared to run my obituary next Wednesday." Once he unloads this baggage on us, however, it's a whole different Bernie. Beginning on page 49 with the fourth chapter, he writes, "I grew up in a blue-collar, Democratic family in the South Bronx. We lived in a tenement that was old even back then." Thus begins an engaging introduction to the career of Bernard Goldberg, cub reporter for The Associated Press, then the Miami CBS affiliate and, starting in 1972, the Tiffany network herself. Along the way, Goldberg discovered some of the peculiar taboos of network television. News producers, no doubt fearing the wrath of minority groups, were uncomfortable with "prison stories (that) showed too many black inmates and not enough white ones." A more interesting story would be investigating why prisons were filling up with minorities - but that, Goldberg notes, "would be hard, time-consuming, expensive work" that TV networks would rather avoid. Other chapters, including "How Bill Clinton Cured Homelessness," provide strong evidence that some media trends might be driven by little more than prejudices of a select group of well-heeled news professionals in New York. But unfortunately, no one is talking about those chapters, except for a few segments on Fox News Channel and the PBS "NewsHour" (the one place where liberal chin-stroking is allowed on TV today). Alas, it appears Bias will be remembered, by its supporters and critics alike, for its author's ham-handed tirade against a third-place news operation that has seen better days. The Kansas City Star Bias, by Bernard Goldberg (234 pages; Regnery Publishing; $27.95) To reach Aaron Barnhart, phone (816) 234-4790 or visit the TV Barn Web site at www.tvbarn.com @ART CAPTION:Bernard Goldberg @ART CREDIT:File photo @ART CAPTION:Bias, by Bernard Goldberg (234 pages; Regnery Publishing; $27.95) @ART:Photos (2, color)

Ruling could alter local TV landscape; Sales or swaps involving stations appear more likely

Last June, the owner of WDAF-TV reportedly was about to sell the station. But thanks to a U.S. Court of Appeals ruling this week, that sale isn't likely to occur. On the other hand, most of Fox 4's competitors in Kansas City could be sold or swapped in the coming year or two. That's because the court's ruling is expected to trigger yet another round of billion-dollar media mergers. The appeals court in Washington, D.C., on Tuesday ordered the Federal Communications Commission, which regulates the media business, to justify the limit on how many stations a company can own. Under that law, a company's combined signals cannot reach more than 35 percent of the U.S. population. News Corp., parent company of the Fox network and WDAF, was prepared to unload WDAF and three other stations to an independent group last June, according to sources interviewed at the time. News Corp. had just bought another station group that raised its overall reach to 40 percent of the United States, well over the ownership cap. The appeals court did not strike down the 35 percent rule Tuesday, but instead remanded it to the FCC. The commission's chairman, Michael Powell, has made clear his opposition to the 35 percent rule. Most industry observers think Powell will either throw out the rule or raise the ownership cap to 50 percent. Either way, Fox would be allowed to keep its stations. Stan Knott, general manager of WDAF, said this week: "We've heard nothing official, but our sense is that (talk of selling the station) has really cooled off." It may well be a different story for other local stations. That's because they are owned by medium-size broadcast groups, which Wall Street analysts this week predicted will be the most likely to be involved in any deals should the federal government do away with the 35 percent ownership cap. They are: Hearst-Argyle Television, owner of ABC affiliate KMBC-TV and operator of UPN affiliate KCWE-TV. Meredith Corp., owner of CBS affiliate KCTV. E.W. Scripps Co., owner of NBC affiliate KSHB-TV and "38 Family Greats" station KMCI-TV. Sinclair Broadcast Group, owner of WB affiliate KSMO-TV. Paxson Communications Corp., owner of Pax affiliate KPXE-TV. "A lot of industry experts have said the ownership cap will probably increase to 50 percent," said Meredith spokesman Jody Judge. "This doesn't surprise anyone in the broadcast industry. It's been anticipated for some while." What will happen next, however - and what impact it will have on viewers - is anybody's guess. For instance, a company such as Hearst-Argyle, one of the largest owners of both NBC and ABC affiliates, could be an attractive target for either of those two networks. On the other hand, Hearst-Argyle could decide to be the acquirer instead of the acquired, and fatten up on other ownership groups. "Anything's possible," UBS Warburg analyst Chris Dixon told the New York Post. "There's no doubt that a new regulatory climate will let the merry band of brothers move in to make more money for themselves and their shareholders." Many times a station changes hands and the viewers are none the wiser. But such was not the case this month in the San Francisco Bay area, where more than 100,000 viewers were unable to watch the Winter Olympics because of an ownership battle between the NBC network and KRON-TV, that area's longtime NBC affiliate. NBC had aggressively sought to buy KRON when its previous owner put it up for sale. But NBC lost out in the bidding and, in retaliation, stripped KRON of its network affiliation and awarded it to a station whose signal did not cover the entire Bay area. "From a very personal point of view, I don't think allowing the networks to acquire more local stations is necessarily in the best interest of the industry or the public," said KMBC general manager C. Wayne Godsey. "It may be good for stockholders, but I don't think greater concentration of the media is in the public interest." Be that as it may, it appears to be the wave of the future. In addition to its ruling on the ownership cap, the appeals court struck down the ban on cable companies owning local television stations. Either the courts or the FCC also is expected to rescind the ban on newspapers owning TV stations in the same area. That is likely to lead to still more mergers as media conglomerates seek to improve their efficiency in reaching customers with movies, TV shows and other content. "The wave of consolidation is where our business is right now," said WDAF's Knott. To reach Aaron Barnhart, call (816) 234-4790 or visit the TV Barn Web site at www.tvbarn.com.

'Frontline' rolls out the dangers about SUVs

There's going to be a reality show airing next month in which the winner will drive off in a brand-new, fully equipped sports utility vehicle. And if you think that's, like, the coolest thing ever, you'd best sit yourself in front of the TV tonight. That's because the PBS newsmagazine "Frontline" is airing the definitive program on SUVs and rollovers at 8 tonight on KCPT (and 1 a.m. on Topeka's KTWU). A sobering counterpoint to the American public's current SUV-buying frenzy, it does what "Frontline" does best - it rewinds the tape and puts today's news stories in the eye-opening context of history. One reason people buy SUVs is for the sense of safety. But "Frontline" traces the modern-day SUV back to its ancestor, the popular "off-road" vehicle of the 1980s; you may recall that vehicle had a little problem with flipping over. The problem didn't go away when the "off-road" vehicle mutated into the SUV. Yet the automobile industry kept safety problems - and the thousands of deaths per year linked to SUV rollovers - out of the media's glare, "Frontline" alleges, lest public scrutiny begin to eat into profits on their cash cow. In late 2000, when a rash of Ford Explorer rollovers became front-page news, the industry scored perhaps its most impressive media coup. Using its arsenal of lawyers, lobbyists and union members, Ford effectively shifted the blame over to the maker of the Explorer's tires, Firestone/Bridgestone. "Frontline" lays it all out in typically damning fashion. The program ends with a bang - or rather, a crash - that poetically underscores its powerful brief. Also tonight, something completely different: The Fox network is back from Temptation Island, where it apparently worked up quite an appetite. Thus "Glutton Bowl 1: The World's Greatest Eating Competition," airing at 7 tonight on Fox 4. This carnival of conspicuous consumption pits 40 "competitive eaters" in a pigout for prizes. The food, according to Fox, will range from "huge bowls of mayonnaise to beef tongue to sticks of butter ... (plus) a surprise 'delicacy,' and won't end until only one competitor is left standing." "Glutton Bowl 1" (note the ominous " 1" in the title) is a two-hour special, so please, don't make me hate myself for even mentioning it - remember to switch over to "Frontline" at 8. Thank you. (Burp.) To reach Aaron Barnhart, phone (816) 234-4790 or visit the TV Barn Web site at www.tvbarn.com @ART CAPTION:The "Frontline" crew captured this rollover in Austin, Texas. @ART CREDIT:PBS @ART CAPTION:Mark "Big Rig" Vogeding (left) and Greg "Gaseous Maximus" Frye compete in the "Glutton Bowl" at 7 tonight on Channel 4. @ART CREDIT:Fox @ART:Photos (2, color and b/w)

Olympic fever has broken; Games are more than watchable but have lost some luster

Like most viewers, I've had a few beefs with NBC's coverage of the 2002 Winter Games from Salt Lake. After all, complaining about the Olympics on TV is a tradition older than women's biathlon. Overall, however, I thought NBC did a bang-up job on these Games. Which, by the way, I'm no longer watching. For nine days I did full-immersion Olympics - watching not just NBC but CNBC and even MSNBC. And then ... I just stopped. I kicked the Winter Games late Saturday afternoon. At first I wasn't sure why. Maybe I'd just had enough icy thrills and spills for one winter. As Canadian figure skaters Jamie Sale and David Pelletier might say, I was ready to move on. And it appears I wasn't the only one. Although NBC's ratings are much better than those logged by CBS during the Nagano Games in 1998, and the opening ceremony from Salt Lake was the most-watched ever, viewership among 18- to 34-year-olds - an age group NBC was especially keen on reaching - is lagging well behind the most comparable benchmark, set by the Albertville Games in 1992. NBC's Olympics czar is producer Dick Ebersol. Before the Salt Lake Games he promised there would be fewer of those squishy up-close-and-personal athlete profiles - not because they drive the predominantly male collective of TV critics up the wall, but because network research found they were a turn-off to young male viewers. Thus, fewer profiles and more "X Games"-inspired events that guys supposedly love, like snowboarding on the halfpipe or the short-track races aptly described by NBC's Bob Costas as "Roller Derby on ice." Led by U.S. skater Apolo Anton Ohno, short-track skating has been one of the unexpected highlights of the Salt Lake Games. Speaking of Costas, his presence as the wry and not-easily-impressed Olympics anchor was just the tonic for all the rah-rah going on around him. Watching 20-year-old Swiss ski-jumping sensation Simon Ammann on the medals stand, Costas observed, "Simon Ammann, doing a little Harry Potter there." Sure enough, next time Ammann competed, NBC flashed a picture of Harry so viewers could compare mugs. NBC had promised there would be more live coverage of the Salt Lake Games than there had been of the Sydney Games. And yet, as critics have pointed out often, most of NBC's prime-time coverage still seems to be on tape delay. On the other hand, since most viewers work during the day, is anyone really cheated by not seeing the women's downhill in real time? NBC's critics complained about the constant interruptions, which were undeniable. Some accounts have calculated the "clutter" levels (commercials plus promos) approaching 19 minutes an hour. I'm not fazed by clutter, but then, I've already seen that new Julia-Louis Dreyfus comedy and all the promos in the world aren't going to make it one iota funnier. Clutter considered, you have to hand it to the NBC production team for making these Olympics so addictively watchable. At one point on Saturday, I sat through four commercial breaks just to find out if Sweden's skiing-and-shooting sensation, Magdalena Forsberg, would finally win the gold. (She didn't.) Not long after NBC signed off that afternoon, however, I read something that broke the spell the Salt Lake Games had over me. It was a column by Phil Mushnick, the no-nonsense sportswriter for the New York Post. This was just after the International Olympic Committee announced that the Canadians, Sale and Pelletier, would be awarded gold medals in pairs figure skating. The announcement brought to a swift end the judging scandal that NBC had been covering breathlessly all week. Mushnick wrote: "In the pairs skating controversy, NBC got the kind of Olympic scandal it could sink its teeth into. ... This scandal could allow NBC some sustained Olympic outrage while still ignoring the greatest fix of all - the bribing of IOC officials that brought the Games to Salt Lake, not to mention the sites of at least the last five Olympics." He was right. Indeed, as Helen Jefferson Lenskyj draws out in rather sickening detail in her book, Inside the Olympic Industry, when the scandal involving the Salt Lake Olympic Bid Committee erupted in 1998, it led to investigations of earlier Olympic host-city bids. Later reports detailed how, for more than a decade, key IOC members had been lavished with "entertainment, gifts and services scholarships for athletes from developing countries and financial assistance, higher education and/or employment in the bid city or region for relatives of IOC members." Reforms were proposed that would end these shenanigans once and for all. They have yet to be passed. They also have yet to be mentioned, even in passing, by an NBC announcer or NBC News anchor. Does NBC really think talking about the 1998 scandal would do the Games a disservice? If anything, it would put pressure on the IOC to pass reforms and restore some of its lost luster. NBC might even win back a few viewers like me who - for whatever reason - have lost interest in the world's greatest athletic get-together. To reach Aaron Barnhart, phone (816) 234-4790 or visit the TV Barn Web site at www.tvbarn.com. @ART CAPTION:U.S. speed skater Apolo Anton Ohno won a silver in the 1,000-meter short track. @ART CREDIT:The Associated Press @ART CAPTION:Bob Costas @ART:Photos (2, color)

PBS special gives focus to Invisible author

You could do a lot worse in life than to write the great American novel and spend the rest of your days collecting accolades from your peers. But as we learn in "Ralph Ellison: An American Journey," the latest portrait in the PBS "American Masters" series, being Ralph Waldo Ellison was never as simple or easy as that. The 86-minute film airs at 9 p.m. Tuesday on KCPT, Channel 19 and 8 p.m. on Topeka's KTWU. It traces Ellison's 80 years on earth from his difficult childhood in Oklahoma to his 15 years scraping by in New York as he worked on his novel, Invisible Man, to the insult of hearing black radicals call him an Uncle Tom, to the futility of three decades spent on the manuscript for his second novel, which he never did finish. The impression the film leaves is that Ellison's life was at best bittersweet. At worst it was a painful struggle against adversity, despair and loss, those unwelcome setbacks that so often seem to be essential ingredients to artistic success. Invisible Man, published 50 years ago, is widely considered one of the great works of fiction by any American writer. Judging by the accolades showered on it in this special by such notables as Toni Morrison, Saul Bellow and Cornel West, it's as influential today as it was upon its publication. The book is a series of surreal vignettes sewn into a larger narrative of a young black man's awakening of conscience. In the book's opening chapter, the hero goes to give his prize-winning speech to the civic leaders of the sleepy Southern town where he lives. Instead, he is enlisted in a "battle royal" - a boxing match in which he and a dozen other young black men flail at each other in the ring while the white male elite puff on cigars and roar their approval. That scene, like the book, contains several messages, but the dominant message that emerges from Invisible Man is the imperative of personal integrity over the demands of any group; that to be an American is to jealously guard one's unique identity and reject those imposed from outside, including those of racial and group identity. In life as in art, Ellison perched himself between two tethered but opposing views. One is the antique notion of group uplift, seen in the narrator's "battle royal" speech, which parrots platitudes from Booker T. Washington. The other is the strategy of political protest explored in the book's later chapters, which feature a race-baiting agitator and a band of white Communists. Ellison anticipated the struggle for black identity and response to white racism that would bubble over in the next two decades. What he was unprepared for were the attacks on his work by black militants like LeRoi Jones. Now known as Amiri Baraka, he still thinks more than 30 years later that Ellison's detachment from political engagement was backward and - because cloaked in great fiction - especially dangerous. Ellison, who died in 1994, is seen here thanks to archival interviews obtained by the producers. His estate also contributed video adaptations of Invisible Man and a short story, which help illumine Ellison's ideas. The film's chief explainers underscore how Ellison would not allow himself to be pigeonholed: Although Baraka is not in his camp, the left-wing West is, as are conservative authors Stanley Crouch and Shelby Steele. In the final scene, Morrison reads from Juneteenth, an edited abridgement of Ellison's unfinished opus published in 1999. I would've liked to have heard more about Ellison's nonfiction essays on race, jazz and culture. He published two collections regarded as some of the finest essay work by an American writer. But as we know from C-SPAN, conveying serious ideas requires turning a visually rich medium into radio with pictures. I will gladly settle for "Ralph Ellison: An American Journey." To reach Aaron Barnhart, phone (816) 234-4790 or visit the TV Barn Web site at www.tvbarn.com

New channel mixes good looks and education

As the rest of the media seem to be getting softer, fluffier and - as CNN might say - just a little bit sexier, what a revelation to tune in the National Geographic Channel. Despite its expensive and polished on-air look, the year-old cable network, recently added to Time Warner Cable at Channel 76, is not afraid to show the world as the harsh, complex, violent place that, for the most part, it is. With vivid storytelling and its famed photographic eye, National Geographic Channel is betting that American audiences are interested in learning about countries that rarely come up on the evening news and will sit through science programs that aren't dumbed down with goofy hosts and party music. At times National Geographic Channel is much grittier and harder-edged than its parent magazine, whose coated pages fairly glow with pristine pictures. For example, on "World Diary," which airs a new installment at 8 p.m. Wednesday, filmmaker Michael Davie travels to Pakistan to examine "honor killings." In that country, where Amnesty International reports more than 70 percent of the women are beaten regularly by their husbands, men are rarely prosecuted for their crimes, not even murder. Although Gen. Pervez Musharraf - Pakistan's president and our country's newest best buddy - has condemned the practice, in an interview with Davie the general disputes Amnesty's figures. It's hard to say what is more unsettling: seeing the graphic images of women who have been burned and mutilated by their husbands, or hearing the head of state deny it is a problem. But if you believe that we owe it to the victims of Sept. 11 not to repeat the mistakes of old - like cozying up to nations whose leaders have a dim view of human rights - then it is very much a problem. On the matter of the media and hard news, a new report is out from the Project for Excellence in Journalism. It finds that the talking heads that dominated news programs before Sept. 11 have taken over once again. Less reporting, more punditry has become the norm just about everywhere. The exception is "ABC News Nightline." "As the press grew more interpretive, less factual and not as heavily sourced, 'Nightline' moved in the other direction," the report says. "The program's reports became more factual. The level of punditry declined." As a result, the program was more likely to be skeptical or critical of the Bush administration far more often than other outlets. On that note, let me confirm the rumors: Yes, "Nightline" is carried in Kansas City. It airs at 12:05 a.m. weeknights on KMBC, Channel 9, immediately following the urgent news of the day as reported by "Entertainment Tonight." If you missed last week's premiere of "Musicians," the new interview-and-performance show on Bravo, that's OK. This week's program with singer-songwriter Sheryl Crow is much better. Last week rocker Lou Reed frowned and shifted uncomfortably in his seat in between plucking and growling acoustic versions of some of his classic songs. The show's host, journalist David Wild, is balding and overweight; he looks destined to write about TV, not appear on it. (I highly recommend his behind-the-scenes book, The Showrunners.) Yet he's the secret weapon of "Musicians." He's brimming with background info on his guests. Tonight he recounts hearing the master tapes of Crow's first album, then learning the next day that she had asked her label not to release it. Wild asks simple, leading questions. He doesn't fawn like the interviewers on "Inside the Actors' Studio" yet manages to get his guests to open up, which is important when you're trying to fill an hour. "Musicians" airs at 9 p.m. Mondays on Bravo. If this column were a local TV newscast, this is the moment I would say, "USA Network is going to the dogs!" The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show airs at 7 p.m. today and Tuesday on USA. Joe Garagiola, who is known to say "doggone-it" from time to time, is the host of the 126th annual event taking place at Madison Square Garden. Aaron Barnhart: (816) 234-4790 or www.tvbarn.com.

NBC assures viewers that mistakes of Sydney won't repeat

When NBC broadcast the 2000 Summer Games from Australia, the network was roasted by critics and viewers alike. Friday night in Salt Lake, the network wasted no time signaling that it had learned its lesson. Two years ago, viewers complained about the shortage of actual sports, which it seemed were interrupted every five minutes for an up-close-and-personal feature story or a commercial break. And they blasted NBC for airing everything on tape delay. This time, coverage of the 2002 Winter Games opening ceremonies felt like a throwback to Olympiads of old, back to the days when ABC, not NBC, was the broadcaster and Jim McKay, not Bob Costas, was the host. Indeed, as NBC's telecast began, it was McKay's airy and upbeat voice that viewers heard first. NBC borrowed the 80-year-old legend from ABC, where he is apparently under lifetime contract, though he has rarely been seen or heard from since the 1988 Winter Games. McKay's first on-camera appearance did not go well; he seemed to have trouble speaking, and apologized to Costas and "Today" show host Katie Couric for "stuttering." Later, as he called parts of the opening pageantry, he sounded more like the McKay we remember. NBC promised that most of its coverage of these Winter Games will be live, and it wasn't shy about letting us know that Friday's proceedings had not been prerecorded. A "LIVE" bug occupied the top left corner of the screen for most of the night, and at one point Costas made a joke about the change. As the team from Australia, the host country in 2000, made its appearance in Friday's "parade of nations," Costas interrupted Couric to say: "Hold it, hold it! I've been waiting a year and a half to say it: We're live and this is Australia!" There was even something refreshing about the inevitable technical flaws that cropped up during the live broadcast. As Jimmy Roberts interviewed American skater Apolo Ohno, a prominent audio hum could be heard. On a couple of occasions the video signal flickered or failed. And certainly, had McKay been on tape, Costas and Couric would have insisted that the three of them redo their banter. But NBC served up a nearly perfect visual feast, as one might expect for something that looked like it had been planned down to the second. There were plenty of pretty overhead shots and eye-pleasing colors, especially the reddish glow and moody cobalt blue that often lighted Rice-Eccles Stadium. The specter of Sept. 11 hung over the stadium, which was surprising given that the Olympics is a global event, and two major sporting events already have been essentially dedicated to those who died in the attacks and those rooting out terrorism abroad. One of the night's most moving moments was the entrance of the World Trade Center flag. Millions of Americans have grown familiar with the sight of these tattered stars and stripes, damaged in the Sept. 11 attacks and later displayed at the World Series and the Super Bowl. Yet its emotional heft was felt again Friday in this symbolic gathering before the world's nations. An honor guard of New York firefighters and police brought in the flag as the entire stadium fell into a reverent silence. A camera cut to a live picture of troops in Afghanistan, watching the ceremony on TV, standing at attention. NBC caught a tear in a woman's eye - and it was fair to say that her face mirrored millions of teary-eyed faces in homes around the world. For all the impressive (and occasionally goofy) symbolism on display, some of the most striking moments were those - like the flag ceremony - that seemed more spontaneous. But with the level of security around these Olympics, that was highly unlikely. Another such moment was the sudden appearance of President Bush among the American athletes in the stands, accompanied by what looked like a single bodyguard. An Olympian who sat next to the president couldn't believe her luck: She called her parents on the cell phone, then handed it to the commander in chief. NBC's opening video montage mixed classic Olympic footage with by-now-familiar pictures of Americans responding to the crisis of Sept. 11. Images of the Statue of Liberty and New York firefighters appeared with those of the U.S. men's hockey team's improbable 1980 Winter Games victory. There was a replay of Hermann Maier's spectacular spill during the 1998 downhill event, bringing to mind McKay's memorable phrase about "the agony of defeat." Couric had the unenviable task of playing the prim, information-please parade announcer to a wisecracking Costas, and of reading a deadly earnest script during the ceremony's unintentionally hilarious "artistic portion," entitled "The Fire Within," which sounded like a visualization technique the crowd might have used to stay warm. With skaters in glittery costumes racing around the ice rink, followed by what Costas called "giant icicles" in large pointy outfits, Couric said with a straight face, "Obviously this is an allegory that works on many levels." Couric apologized for the number of commercial breaks during the first hour of the program, explaining that this would allow NBC to show much of the ceremony commercial-free. Less apologetic were the many companies that paid millions for the privilege of having their corporate logos affixed with the Olympic rings. Budweiser, an official corporate sponsor of the Games, billed itself as "America's beer." Couric even introduced her "Today" show colleague, Al Roker, as "America's weatherman." In fact, some of the commercials unveiled Friday night were better than the ads seen during Sunday's Super Bowl, including a Gateway spot that featured a cow dreaming it was in the ski-jump competition. In a new Coca-Cola ad, a truckdriver picks up a hitchhiker, and is stunned to learn that he's hitched all the way from Moscow. "I start with a 12-pack," explains the Russian. - Reach Aaron Barnhart through the TV Barn Web site at www.tvbarn.com.

Strong central character overcomes flaws of 'Khmer Heart'>Cinemax movie focuses on defender of Cambodian orphans

TV REVIEW "My Khmer Heart" 5:30 p.m. today, Cinemax (repeats 9:30 a.m. Feb. 11) My Khmer Heart" started out as a sweet, alternately touching and funny documentary about a milkman's daughter from Australia who went to Cambodia and wound up adopting 60 orphans. But while the film was being made, that country - still mourning the 2 million who perished in Pol Pot's killing fields - was thrown once again into political turmoil. Suddenly the film's subject found herself in harm's way, and "My Khmer Heart" was transformed from personal portrait into dramatic narrative. The film, which has its television premiere Tuesday on Cinemax, was shot mostly at the orphanage outside Phnom Penh run by Geraldine Cox, a big-boned, apple-cheeked woman who went to Cambodia in 1970 to work in the Australian foreign service and fell in love with the country and its people. In 1993 Cox began supporting an orphanage situated on land owned by Princess Marie, the wife of Cambodia's co-prime minister, Prince Ranariddh. Three years later she moved there and took over day-to-day care of the orphanage and its three score of children. Intelligent, good-humored and unusually candid about her private life, Cox is a documentarian's dream. She also has a dark side, and more than once in this film she unhesitatingly leads us there. When she had trouble getting pregnant, she became increasingly desperate and then despondent. She adopted a war-scarred Cambodian orphan, only to learn that she was profoundly handicapped. Her determination to care for her child took her to extremes that are as painful to hear as they are for her to recount. In 1997, after filmmakers Janine Hosking and Leonie Lowe thought their work was done, a coup attempt forced the prince and princess to flee Cambodia. In the ensuing chaos, Cox emerged as one of the ex-prime-minister's most visible supporters. She was featured on the Australian nightly news, calling for an end to the violence and denouncing the prince's opponent, Hun Sen, as a "killer." For a while she too had to leave the country. Though the prince was allowed back into Cambodia, the balance of power had swung over to his rival. Then, another crisis. This one cast the future of the orphanage into grave doubt. Only one person, it seemed, could rescue them: the aforementioned "killer," Hun Sen. Pragmatically, Cox decided to throw herself at his mercy and plead for her orphans. We see her discussing her strategy, while her children rehearse a traditional dance they will perform for the prime minister. The dance is carefully calculated to melt Hun Sen's heart and soften him up to Cox's pitch. I don't blame Cox for doing what she did; it only confirmed her absolute devotion to her orphans. What I take issue with is the filmmakers' refusal to address their own role in filming the crucial summit meeting. If it ever occurred to them that Hun Sen might be employing them for his own image-making purposes, they never let on here. The filmmakers may dismiss the idea as preposterous - but they still owed it to their audience to address it in their otherwise spellbinding film. "My Khmer Heart" also features the bellowing voice of Sir Peter Ustinov, who every few minutes reads us a saying of Buddha. Though Ustinov's voice is a bit incongruous with the rest of the film, the sayings remind us of the importance of strong character, and Geraldine Cox has plenty of that. You can reach Aaron Barnhart through the TV Barn Web site at www.tvbarn.com @ART CAPTION:Geraldine Cox (center) with some of the 60 orphans she cares for in 'My Khmer Heart' @ART CREDIT:Cinemax @ART:Photo (color)

Super Sunday is silent in many cable TV homes

Thousands of cable customers across the Kansas City area were faced with calling up friends and hastily moving their Super Bowl parties after realizing that cable service would not be restored by game time. As many as 50,000 area homes were without service at kickoff time, despite round-the-clock efforts by Time Warner Cable and Comcast Cable after last week's ice storm. Employees gave up their weekends, the companies called in outside contractors and hundreds of employees drove in from Time Warner and Comcast operations in Indianapolis, Little Rock, Ark., and elsewhere. Undoing the storm's wrath in less than four days, however, proved to be too much. Time Warner's problem was twofold: First, power had to be restored to the hubs that deliver cable and high-speed Internet to neighborhoods. Also, about 20,000 individual homes had downed cable lines somewhere between the hub and their doorstep. All employees worked over the weekend to restore service, said company Vice President Carol Rothwell, and about 12,000 homes got their cable back. But Rothwell said it would take "several more days" to replace all the downed lines between the poles and the homes. Many customers still do not have power, let alone cable television. "I used to say, 'Well, that's why God invented sports bars,' but then several of them don't have power either," Rothwell said. Comcast had backup generators at its hubs, but still a third of its customers, or 34,000 homes, lost their cable at the ice storm's peak. A majority of those who lost service now have it back, according to company spokesman Tom Krewson. He couldn't estimate how much longer it would take to restore service to all homes. You can reach Aaron Barnhart through the TV Barn Web site at www.tvbarn.com.

And now, some words from our sponsors

For a minute there, I thought I'd accidentally tuned in PBS. Men in period costumes re-enacting the Declaration of Independence? The Boston Pops? Former presidents reciting the Gettysburg Address? But no, it was merely Fox's star-spangled prelude to the Super Bowl, capped off by a special live appearance by that great American, Paul McCartney. "America, we love youuuu!" said McCartney before urging the Superdome crowd to "Clap your hands for freedom!" He wasn't referring to the abstract notion of liberty, it turns out, but "Freedom," his new instantly forgettable single. Actually, we love Paul McCartney. And let's face it: There is no more perfect union of patriotism and salesmanship than the Super Bowl. This year the game was an exhilarating diversion from the four score and seven reasons we usually tune in - to watch the Super Bowl commercials. Though many previous Super advertisers passed on this year's bash (Cingular, Frito-Lay), and Fox had to scramble to sell all the available ads, there was still enough adver-tainment to make every dash for the bathroom a dilemma. If you have a strong bladder or TiVo, here's what you saw: E*Trade. Story line: The chimp who wept for failed dot coms in last year's E*Trade ad is the centerpiece of a goofy new commercial that opens with a Busby Berkeley musical number and ends with said primate being blasted into space. Message: Come see our new improved Web site. Hidden message: You just can't lose with a chimp. Michelob Light. Story line: "Age is just a state of mind," we're told as people in their 30s, 40s and older swim and play golf in between the customary video of beer sloshing into glasses. Except for a few well-hidden glasses, no one is seen drinking beer. Message: Make light beer part of your active lifestyle. Hidden message: Maybe this ridiculously single-minded pursuit of 20-something viewers wasn't such a good idea. Quizno's. Story line: In this coarse spoof of taste-test ads, a plump middle-aged woman chooses a toasted Quizno sub over untoasted. An unscrupulous researcher shoots her with a blow dart; she slumps into the unpreferred sandwich. Message: This is the only way you wouldn't pick our subs. Hidden message: It's OK to laugh at gun-related violence again. Spider-Man movie. Story line: Who cares? The knockout trailers for this movie have sold me on the live action Spidey, coming in May. By far the most impressive of the new-movie ads - and I've already seen the theater version. "Wow" is right. McDonald's. Story line: Boy in a Pop Warner game goes deep. The ball is thrown; does he catch it? Cut to same boy enjoying post-game meal at Mickey D's. Message: It doesn't matter whether he caught the ball. Hidden message: Ha, ha, ha, ha! We didn't mean that! H&R Block. Story line: The Coen brothers create a scene reminiscent of "The Hudsucker Proxy" as a droning tax official sits in a room of starched shirts, slowly reading off the 441 changes made this year to U.S. tax law. Message: More than ever, you need an expert to file your taxes. Hidden message: Do not question the creative genius that is the Coen brothers. Charles Schwab. Story line: Barry Bonds, at the ballpark, hears a still, small voice urging him to "walk into retirement." It's all-time home-run king Hank Aaron whispering into the PA system. Message: You can trust Schwab's advice. Hidden message: This won't be the last time you seen Hank and Barry together. Bud: In a hilarious sendup of Comedy Central's "BattleBots," a minifridge lures an evil-looking buzz saw into its trap with a bottle of beer. Message: Guys can't resist a Bud. Hidden message: When you think funny ads, think Budweiser. Bud, again. Story line: In contrast to the other four minutes of Anheuser-Busch advertising, this ad features the famous Clydesdales solemnly riding across the Brooklyn Bridge and into Battery Park, where they bow their heads before what was once the World Trade Center. Message: Never forget. Hidden message: This is why we're kicking Miller's rear. Pepsi. Story line: Britney Spears, the songbird of pop (music and soda), is dropped Zelig-like into a series of classic Pepsi ads in this dazzling 90-second commercial. Fans voted online for their favorite (the 1958 ad, to the tune of "Makin' Whoopee," won). Message: Pepsi and youth have always gone together. Hidden message: They're real. Monster.com. The online job-finder used one of its two spots so that former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani could thank Americans against a black and white tableau of New York. The Empire State Building looms in the background. Message: Thank you. Hidden message: None. AT&T Wireless. Story line: For weeks, the phone company has been behind a stealth campaign asking "What is mlife?" Several ads repeat the question until finally we're told the "m" stands for "mobile." Message: Wireless technology lets you stay in touch anywhere. Hidden message: And you thought those Cingular ads were cryptic. Visa. Story line: Kevin Bacon re-enacts the "six degrees of Kevin Bacon" movie game trying to get his check approved. Message: Use plastic instead. Hidden message: Remember me? Kevin Bacon? Lipton Brisk. Story line: It looks as if we've seen the last of clay-animated celebrities in iced-tea ads, as a Danny DeVito figure is "fired" from the set. Angry clay puppets retaliate, pelt Al Roker with eggs. Message: Lipton doesn't need clay figurines; it "sells itself." Hidden message: Remember me? Danny DeVito? Dockers. Story line: A room filled with men in skimpy black dresses who are agog at the guy wearing casual pants. Message: "Finally, guys have an answer to the little black dress." Hidden message: We thought "Nice Pants" wasn't opaque enough. Levi's. Story line: Young dude tries to act cool walking down the street, but his "flyweight jeans" are giving him a serious case of happy feet. Message: These are very lightweight pants. Hidden message: For best results, don't wear with a dirty undershirt. Visa. Story line: Olympic sprinters, Triple Crown horses and a NASCAR driver square off in a 100-yard dash. Message: You can't see these events without using your Visa. Hidden message: No matter the occasion, count on us to deliver a pointless ad. Yahoo. Story line: So this dolphin swims up to a guy and asks where he found out about this place. The guy says "Yahoo" and then asks, hey, where'd you learn to talk? "Yahoo," says the dolphin. Message: You can learn a lot of stuff at our Web site. Hidden message: This is one dot-com that learned to swim. You can reach Aaron Barnhart through the TV Barn Web site at www.tvbarn.com @ART CAPTION:The Super Bowl pre-game extravaganza included Paul McCartney singing his song "Freedom," part of the evening's patriotic theme. @ART:Photo @ART CREDIT:The Associated Press

Ice in their veins; KC weathercasters kept their calm in the storm

Clearly Mother Nature does not consult the television listings. Had she done so, she would have known to hold off Kansas City's winter spectacular for 48 hours until the Nielsen ratings period began. As it was, the weather forced local TV stations - already socked in by a lousy business climate - to pre-empt network programs, call in extra staff and expend resources they had little hope of recouping to bring the storm's full scope to viewers - at least those who still had power. KMBC, Channel 9, lost a microwave dish to a low-hanging power line. KCTV, Channel 5, lost power at its Fairway studios, forcing anchors to work with flip charts and handheld mikes. Through it all, the three longtime pillars of Kansas City television - including WDAF, Channel 4 - were calm and comprehensive in their reporting of the weather and its impact. As usual, Kansas City's senior weathercasters, KMBC's Bryan Busby and WDAF's Mike Thompson, were the most authoritative and least ruffled as the storm droned on. Of course, there also was a certain amount of salesmanship going on. As any station manager in the country will tell you, viewers consistently rank the weather as the No. 1 reason they watch the news. By Tuesday, it was obvious that weather would be the lead story for many newscasts to come, even if the story was that there was no story. "Kansas City will get hit by an ice storm - but when and how much?" said Brian Curtis on KCTV. "It could be just a massive storm," said Gary Lezak, the often excitable meteorologist at KSHB, Channel 41. But it wasn't a massive storm Tuesday, not yet. So reporters were dispatched to report on frozen windshields and snowplow crews. On Channel 4, reporter Sean Conroy stood by an interstate and spoke that familiar if useless broadcast mantra, "Obviously, folks, if you don't have to go out, don't." Then, as if from heaven, came word of the Amazing Magnesium Chloride Dispensing Bridge. In case you missed the story, and it's hard to imagine how you could, the city of Lenexa recently installed nozzles into the College Boulevard bridge over Interstate 35 that squirt the ice-melting compound onto the roadway. City officials can trigger the Amazing Magnesium Chloride Dispensing Bridge just by calling it on the phone - "even a cell phone!" enthused KMBC's Bev Chapman. An intrepid publicist for Lenexa managed to get the bridge on all four TV newscasts. (We eagerly await the follow-up report on what magnesium chloride does to your car's underbody.) But by Wednesday morning, stations were mostly reverting to their regular schedules, and here Channel 4 picked up a decisive advantage. Fox 4 frequently reminds viewers to tune in to its weathercasts "when seconds count!" But this week it was the hours, not the seconds, that counted most as WDAF's eight hours of daily local news made it a reliable font of information. By late Wednesday morning, KMBC had started to break into regular programming with weather updates, and KCTV soon followed. By evening, when the night air popped with the sound of falling timber and flashed with electrical sparks, the newscasts took a turn for the dramatic. "It is a brutal night on the streets," said KCTV's Dave Helling. Brutal inside Channel 5, too. The station lost power during William Jackson's sports report and then again just after 8 a.m. Thursday. The morning crew scurried into the station's garage, where they kept going with emergency power. With no graphics machines and no wireless microphones, the broadcast took on the ambiance of a 1960s telethon. Still, KCTV made the right call in pre-empting the CBS "Early Show" for local coverage. KMBC also pre-empted "Good Morning America" Thursday to compete with WDAF's all-local morning show. And all three stations began at 4:30 a.m., where Channel 5 has been doing an ultra-early newscast since December. Curiously, KSHB chose to end its local coverage at 7 a.m. and air the "Today" show as scheduled. News director Laura Clark pointed out that there were important national and international stories, too. "We put our resources into our 4 o'clock news," Clark said, referring to the special 4 p.m. newscast Channel 41 aired Wednesday and Thursday. There are many ways to describe a complex meteorological system, and viewers got an earful of descriptions during this week's barrage of ice, freezing rain and snow. Perhaps the oddest came from Bob Collins, the city manager for Kansas City, who told KCTV's Helling that this was "a routine snow and ice event." Maybe it was when the interview took place, but not by the time it aired Wednesday evening. Early on, Fox began calling it the "Winter Blast," complete with "Winter Blast" graphics. This air of frivolity seemed inappropriate to a potentially deadly storm. KCTV's "Ice Storm 2002" was more restrained, but why give it any name at all? Visually, the weather was a godsend to broadcasters. All four newscasts were awash in dazzling weather maps and shocking video of falling branches, skidding cars and sparking utility lines. There was footage of what looked like lightning but, we were told, was actually the light of an exploding transformer. Channel 4's Thompson described the system as a "conveyor belt of tropical moisture," a felicitous phrase. Thompson and Channel 9's Busby were the eye of the storm, patiently detailing the miserable conditions without once raising their voices. As has become customary, all four local stations shrank their regular programming and showed school and government closings at the bottom of their screens. To reach Aaron Barnhart, phone (816) 234-4790 or visit the TV Barn Web site at www.tvbarn.com. @ART CAPTION:KCTV meteorologists Gary Amble (center) and Bruce Thomas describe conditions during a live shot at noon Thursday along Shawnee Mission Parkway. @ART CAPTION:KCTV 5 noon anchor Carolyn Long prepares a script for the noon newscast Thursday right before airtime in the station's lobby. @ART CREDIT:TIM JANICKE/The Kansas City Star @ART CAPTION:Scenes from ice storm-ravaged neighborhoods made for compelling video. @ART:Photos (3, color and b/w)