Rock steady, then run away

'My Guide to Becoming a Rock Star' Airs: 7 and 7:30 tonight, WB (Channel 62) Stars: Oliver Hudson, Michael Des Barres, Lauren Hodges, Rick Overton, Kevin Rankin, Shannon Tweed, Emmanuelle Vaugier Who should watch: Prison inmates who can't tune in any other channel. We're told that this show is "based on the popular British comedy," which makes you wonder about British TV viewers. Or perhaps something just got lost in the translation. It's hard to believe this brain-damaged teen sex farce came from the same place that brought us "All in the Family" and "Ab Fab." Jace (Kate's brother Oliver Hudson) is lead singer and driving force behind a Seattle area garage band that he believes is headed for greatness. We know this because he tells us that, along with a million other things on his mind, as the show's interminable narrator. His fellow bandmates are even less likable. And his dad, a burned-out heavy metal rocker himself, is a screaming loony - an instant turn-off. But my true loathing is reserved for the show's writers, who filled the two episodes I watched with puerile dialogue, hackneyed story lines, corny coincidences and, above all, incredibly thoughtless attempts at humor. A dirty word from the mouth of a young girl. An epileptic fit. A teen-ager killed playing football (the moment, I think, is supposed to be poignant, but it left me cold). To reach Aaron Barnhart, phone (816) 234-4790 or visit the TV Barn Web site at www.tvbarn.com.