For stability in TV, say 'Eye'

NEW YORK - "I'm sorry we're so boring," the president of CBS, Leslie Moonves, told his audience. By "boring," Moonves wasn't referring to his network's new fall schedule, but the fact that every year the advertising community comes to Carnegie Hall for the CBS "upfront" presentation, and every year the same old CBS executives are there to greet them. Of the Big Four networks, only CBS is run by someone who wasn't hired in a year that begins with 2. "I know at the other guys' upfronts, you get a chance to make a whole lot of new friends," Moonves added, and a loud guffaw went up throughout the hall. It was way back in 1995, a lifetime in the TV business, that Moonves took over the decrepit network with its aging viewers, aging shows and aging excuses for its own mediocrity. Moonves turned CBS around with a compelling mix of comedy ("Everybody Loves Raymond"), drama ("CSI" and its soon-to-arrive clones), reality ("Survivor") and sports (he brought the National Football League back to CBS). Along the way he consolidated his power and now oversees a second network, UPN, for CBS' parent company Viacom. UPN is best known as the place where entertainers dressed in wrestler's trunks talk trash and engage in something called "smackdowns." It's a good fit, for if there's one TV executive who loves to deliver a body slam to his opponents, it's Les Moonves. Moonves, a former TV actor, basked in the spotlight for two-plus hours Wednesday, flawlessly reading off statistics that showed CBS' superiority, singing the praises of CBS' new shows and firing zingers at CBS' rivals. His show "Judging Amy," Moonves crowed, "just killed 'Philly,' " the canceled ABC show. As for NBC, he made a crack about "the aptly named 'Just Shoot Me' " and later gleefully noted that "Scrubs," the new post-"Friends" show, had bombed in its one post-"Friends" appearance last season. "As a replacement for 'Friends,' " Moonves chortled, " 'Scrubs' is truly the weakest link." CBS has its own weak links, of course. Last year's highly touted "Max Bickford" and "Citizen Baines" died, as did that howler "Wolf Lake." Not even the latest "hit" for CBS, "Baby Bob," a show about a talking baby, seemed to impress the Carnegie crowd. As for next season's new shows, they appear to be a lot like the CBS executive suite: same old same old. "CSI" producer Jerry Bruckheimer fashioned not one but two spinoffs; the intriguing "Miami" version with David Caruso and a fuzzier missing-persons show starring Anthony LaPaglia. There was yet another dumb-looking couples comedy on Monday, the kind that audiences like but ad buyers razz ("Still Standing"). And there were a couple of D.O.A.'s, including the sitcom "Bram & Alice," in which a womanizing author played by Albert Molina tries to seduce a woman who turns out to be his illegitimate daughter. Still, all that pales next to the disaster Moonves would have faced if he had somehow let his late-night star, David Letterman, defect to ABC earlier this year. An article in the new issue of Vanity Fair suggests that CBS was a lot closer to losing Letterman than reports at the time made it seem. Moonves, however, deftly steered around the pothole. He opened his presentation Wednesday with an amusing film in which he begs Letterman to stay at CBS. Using old "Late Show" clips, Moonves inserts himself into Dave's routine, ironing his shirts, being the brunt of his paintball pranks, even putting on a bald cap and pretending to fill in for bandleader Paul Shaffer. Next, Letterman himself came out. To no one's surprise, he mocked his boss and his taste in programs. "We certainly want to find out what this year's 'Wolf Lake' will be," Letterman said. Dave's boss, dumb as a wolf, graciously thanked his star for staying "exactly where he belongs," then it was on to other business. By the time Moonves retired to Tavern on the Green for the CBS post-party, Letterman was back at the Ed Sullivan, his harmless barbs forgotten. You can reach Aaron Barnhart through the TV Barn Web site at www.tvbarn.com. @ART CAPTION:CBS Entertainment President Leslie Moonves @ART:Photo @ART CREDIT:CBS