Jon Stewart IS Chickenman

He's everywhere, he's everywhere!

Not sure what the hook of this Wired magazine interview with Stewart and his right arm, Ben Karlin, is. Wired already established, in an earlier issue, the fact that the clip of Stewart eviscerating the two "Crossfire" hosts was probably seen by more people on the Internet than on CNN.

But hey, it's the annual TV issue and you need a hook, and who's more beloved in media circles right now than this guy? Besides, Stewart meshes perfectly with Wired's predictable take on television: The old order is dying. The new order will be dictated by technology. It will look nothing like bad old TV. It will consist entirely of the things we want to watch.  Which, in Wired's view, means "The Daily Show" 24/7.

It is nice that Stewart was willing to talk on the record with Thomas Goetz about the 13 minutes that killed "Crossfire," something he wasn't willing to do earlier this year (I tried). And it was fun to see him break down the whole Wired conceit that high tech will be the next big thing in TV....

GOETZ: Yet there's a lot of venture capital going into video-delivery technologies ... Isn't there something promising about new ways to watch television?

STEWART: Sure. But how much do you need TV to be available in convenient form? It already is convenient -- we have the DVR. Do you need TV on your wach as you walk from your cell phone to your BlackBerry? At what point do we get saturated enough to say, "OK, I get it! We can watch anything we want at anytime! Let's go sit around a large table and eat a meal in silence!"

What Wired doesn't seem to get is that the ability for people to produce high-quality video at home for little money will mean they won't have to live in New York, L.A., San Fran or Vancouver, where their outlooks would be shaped, inevitably, by the cultures of those media- and creative-saturated communities. And by creative I mean "creative." Wired is looking to Yahoo or Google, but is blind to its own geographical biases. Already we are seeing high quality documentaries coming from all over, and it's not a stretch to imagine high-quality drama and comedy shows someday originating from St. Paul or Cleveland or Dallas or ... or ... Kansas City.

Then who will Conde Nast writers fall in love with?

Update: On the jump page, Goetz replies!

On second thought (cha-cha-cha)...

ABC has met our demands:

In the spirit of good-natured competition, champion Kelly Monaco and her professional dance partner, Alec Mazo, will meet runner-up John O'Hurley and his professional partner Charlotte Jorgensen, once again on the dance floor. "Dancing with the Stars: Dance-off" airs TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 20 (8:30-10:00 p.m., ET, LIVE on the East Coast/tape delayed to the West) on the ABC Television Network.

The dance-off will feature each couple performing several styles of dance -- Latin, ballroom and freestyle. Our colorful and animated judges will return to give their critiques, but only viewers' votes will count... America will truly decide the winner of the dance-off. Viewers are invited to weigh in with their votes via phones and the internet immediately following the broadcast on the 20th. And unlike the series, they won't have to wait a week to learn the results of their votes. This time, results will be announced during a separate telecast which will air on THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 22 (9:00-9:30 p.m. ET).

In exchange, the nation's TV critics have agreed to give Steve McPherson back his neckties.

And in less controversial news...

The lineup for the next edition of HBO's REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, which resumes its third season FRIDAY, AUG. 19 (11:00 p.m.-midnight ET/PT), has changed.  Featured on this week's show as interview guests are conservative activist Phyllis Schlafly and anti-war protestor Cindy Sheehan; roundtable guests are former Homeland Security under secretary Asa Hutchinson, political consultant Kellyanne Conway and actor-comedian Chris Rock.

Arresting TV

This weekend's lo-HUT TV choices include an "Arrested Development" marathon on Fox and the return of Peter Coyote to "The 4400." Link: Kansas City Star | Barnhart

Sadly, CBS has ended its Friday-night experiment of airing reruns of UPN's "Veronica Mars." Network publicity declared the brief trial a success, as evidenced by this all-caps bullet point: A COMBINED 1,000,000 WOMEN 18-34 WATCHED ALL OR PART OF THE FOUR VERONICA MARS TELECASTS ON CBS, AND 84% OF THESE WOMEN 18-34 HAD NEVER SEEN THOSE EPISODES BEFORE. And so you're stopping it ... why?

In our market, two shows have recently moved into the Friday-night public affairs ghetto on public TV station KCPT: "Foreign Exchange with Fareed Zakaria," whom I interviewed earlier this year; and "Mental Engineering," a terrific ad-review show produced out of the Twin Cities, that I wrote about way back when, because even then, man, I knew.

Who's that girl?

Why, it's ... my granddaughter!

On Sunday, Diane's daughter Anne brought this 9-pound wonder, Sofia Diane, into the world. Mrs. TV Barn is enjoying her first grandchild in person, while tonight I got my first five-megapixel look at the baby (here, striking a contemplative pose).

I'm thrilled almost beyond words. I'm sure once I hold her, I really will be speechless.

Way to go, Anne and Mike!

After the streak

So if you read the sports pages even glancingly, you probably know that our Kansas City Royals are in the midst of a losing streak the likes of which Major League Baseball has rarely seen, let alone Triple-A baseball, which is where the Royals belong about now.

I'm interested in this only as a media critic. I long ago lost interest in the Royals, ever since it became clear that the owner, whose money came from Wal-Mart, was interested in everyday low prices -- not value. (Is Costco's CEO shopping for a team?) Minnesota, Oakland, Cleveland and Houston are all competing in divisions where other teams make more and spend more than they do. That we're not following suit isn't the fault of economic disparities or Kansas City's market size or anything other than a failure of will. That's a downer when you think of it, so we won't.

Instead, let's talk about another season-killing streak and how the media played a part in softening the pain after it ended.

No wonder it smells lemony fresh around here

This just in:

• That NARAL ad attacking the judicial record of Supreme Court nominee John G. Roberts Jr. was notable not only because it was decried even by the abortion-rights group's own allies, forcing them to withdraw the 30-second spot. It was also notable because it was one of the very few ads that have aired taking a stand on the guy. A report released today by the University of Wisconsin Advertising Project and Nielsen Monitor-Plus shows that one right-wing group bought 138 pro-Roberts ads ... in 138 markets, for a precise average of one airing per market. And there was NARAL -- and that was it. “There is currently no targeted TV paid advertising effort to influence Senators on the Supreme Court fight,” said Ken Goldstein, the prof in charge of the study. "With Senators home during the August recess with virtually no ads targeting even the most vulnerable incumbents, all indications are that this Supreme Court nomination process is not going to be the paid media battle that activists on both sides have been preparing for and promising for years.”
• Comcast figured out who had changed a customer's name in the database to "Bitch Dog" and fired them. Now they need to go after whoever thought it was a good idea to tell people they would be on hold for (robotic voice) "forty ... five ... minutes."

She'll go Farr

This just in:

• The lovely Diane Farr, who's really coming into her own on FX's "Rescue Me," will now have steady employment on CBS's "Numb3rs." Diane Farr portrays Special Agent Megan Reeves, who studied at Quantico in the Behavioral Science Unit and has been recently assigned to the Los Angeles FBI office to work alongside Det. Don Eppes (Rob Morrow) (CBS PR).
• The announcement late Wednesday that ESPN EVP/Programming Mark Shapiro was leaving to head up Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder's entertainment company leaves ESPN2's late night plans in some doubt. Shapiro said, in a phoner the other week to promote Stephen A. Smith's "Quite Frankly," that "within two years" he hoped to have a late-night talk show on the Deuce to further distinguish it from ESPN.
• OLN has won the rights to telecast National Hockey League games. This is good because OLN measures its audience in hundredths of Nielsen ratings points, whereas ESPN (the last home of the NHL) likes the heft of points and tenths of points. Pro hockey is going to have to prove it is a national television sport, just like OLN is going to have to prove it is a national network without the help of Lance Armstrong. They're a good match.
• It's only fitting that during the last week of "Six Feet Under," HBO should greenlight a second season of the Ricky Gervais comedy "Extras," which hasn't even aired yet.  Recall, as B&C did, that "Six Feet" was reupped for a second season before its debut as well.

Plus, it's redundant.

This just in:

• The lore of Comcast customer service stories continues to grow. The Chicago Tribune has a story about a Chicago woman who complained 40 times in one month about her new digital cable box, apparently to no avail. Except that when she got her bill the next month, her name had been changed to "Bitch Dog." A Comcast spokesperson called the slur "inappropriate."
• Janeane Garofalo will guest-star over an arc of three episodes in NBC's Emmy Award-winning "The West Wing" (Sundays, 8-9 p.m. ET this Fall) as a successful but controversial media strategist who is hired by Democratic Congressman Matt Santos (Jimmy Smits) as the new director of communications for his intense presidential campaign (NBC PR). Typical Hollywood thinking. She should be a GOP strategist advising Alan Alda. I expect to see this worked into a spec script by one of my TV Barn readers. Just have the character use the phrase "Elliott Abrams." I'll consider it my shout-out.
• This not just in: Michael Powell, the former FCC chairman, took a position last week with Providence Equity Partners, where among other things he'll advise powerful clients on the correct positions to use when putting government regulators over a barrel. The Digital Democracy folks note that "Powell joins his fellow former chairs Richard Wiley, Mark Fowler, Dennis Patrick, Reed Hundt, and William Kennard who went from the FCC to work in the media and telecommunications industries. With lucrative industry employment ahead of them, FCC chairs (and most Commissioners) have a built-in conflict of interest." Well, it won't be built-in if Congress makes post-commission industry work illegal. Right?
• My colleague, Mike Hendricks, has been using his three-times-a-week column to urge local officials to make "Goin' to Kansas City" the official city song. Why this song has failed to receive the recognition it's due is beyond me. Anyway, Hendricks reports today that his long-running crusade got a boost this week when the Leiber and Stoller tune was made the official song of the Kansas City ... Parks and Rec Department. Well, it's a start.

"Over There": the talk of cable

You know what they say about being in the Army, that it's 95 percent boredom and 5 percent sheer terror. The neat trick about FX's "Over There" is that it makes even the 95 percent -- where people just sit around and talk -- riveting. Of course, talky scenes also allow Steven Bochco to meet his cable-sized budget, ensuring (along with promising ratings) that the best show on TV right now will be back for another season.

In this scene, for instance, a military contractor flashes his cash before Mrs. B, a soldier who has just volunteered to drive through mortar fire to help the boys locate an enemy spotter. The scene is so textured that while you're stunned by the income disparity between these two people serving in Iraq, it may escape you that they're, uh, consummating a business transaction. Here's the clip (MP3, 56 secs, some language)

Link: Kansas City Star | Barnhart | ‘Over There’ not at a loss for words.

We blog. We bald. We race.

Now here's a novel approach I should've seen coming:

Hi Aaron,

I've been a long-time reader of yours ever since I read about your battle with Leukemia. I went through a similar cancer-scare in 2001 and have been reading TV Barn ever since.

Anyway, my twin brother and I are trying to build buzz for our effort to get cast on The Amazing Race, in my opinion, the only good reality TV show left on television. We built a site to support this initiative:

http://www.bloggertwins.com

It's a unique effort and one that I think casting directors will appreciate. The marketing opportunities of casting twin bloggers is enormous. If cast, we'd be the first bloggers to be on a reality TV show -- not to mention the credibility they'd get in the blogossphere by casting one of the pioneers of the blog format.

It would be great if you could link to the site as I know many people in the television industry read TV Barn.

Cheers,
Cameron Barrett

Back in the saddle again

Oy vey, you should've stayed up last night! An audience member ordered the "kosher show" (photo).

This just in:

• In the ongoing saga of the incredible shrinking reality shows, "The Contender" -- Mark Burnett's boxing series which flopped on NBC but has now been picked up by ESPN -- will have a press conference at the Staples Center Thursday, as Burnett, Sly Stallone and Sugar Ray Leonard (who seemed mostly to sit in the stands on fight nights) try to kick-start their show. No Jeffrey Katzenberg appearance planned, by the way.

• Meanwhile, Cynthia Turner is having no luck finding those promised episodes of "The Law Firm" in her Bravo TV listings. Maybe it's been kicked down to Trio....
• And here is an actual unretouched headline taken from an "Access Hollywood" email alert:
  MADONNA "PRETTY BANGED UP" BY HORSEBACK RIDING ACCIDENT, SAYS SPOKESPERSON

Welcome to the sunny side, Dave

When I heard the scuttlebutt around the second floor (that's where the newsroom is) that we were thinking of hiring former KCTV-5 reporter-anchor Dave Helling to lead our multimedia efforts, I couldn't believe our good fortune. Today the hire was announced.

Shortly after I arrived in Kansas City in 1997, I was listening to Mike Shanin's old afternoon talk show on KPHN-AM. He was asking his guest to explain, as briefly as possible, the city's complicated tax increment financing program that, among other things, was helping put up a supermarket in my neighborhood. In two minutes, this guest -- Helling, then at WDAF-TV -- broke down TIF in terms that I, a newcomer, could understand. In time I discovered that he was a rarity: a broadcast journalist very good at his craft, yet able to command respect from his peers in print.

At age 50, Helling had had enough of "live, late-breaking, investigative" TV news and we were looking for someone to help ramp up our multimedia efforts. The technology may be new, but what's needed are seasoned journalists to upgrade their toolkit to bring content to all the channels people now use to be informed and entertained. Any fool reading TV Barn recognizes I'm doing different stories online than I would do in print. Well, multiply that times 300 journalists and you've got real potential to deliver something of value to all the cellphones, iPods, feed aggregators and whatever other buckets are being pulled through the bitstream.

Helling, whose knowledge of local politics and history is so deep that he can hold forth on nearly any topic (he's practically a weekly panelist on KCPT's public affairs show), will bring a lot to our paper's multimedia efforts, of which TV Barn is just the beginning. TV's loss is certainly our gain at the Star.

"We turned down Tommy Lee"

The University of Nebraska Football was not the only school pitched "Tommy Lee Goes to College." It was just the only school dumb enough to take it on. Here's an email I received from a public relations official at another major state school, this one located in the Southeast:

I just read your column on "Tommy Lee Goes to College." Before the producers of this program approached Nebraska, they pitched it to several other colleges and universities, including my employer ... As soon as I received the pitch for Tommy Lee, I turned it down. This program would do nothing to enhance the academic mission of (our school) and at best, would prove disruptive to students, faculty and staff during the production. It isn't as though (we turn down) all entertainment programming ... (but) "Tommy Lee Goes to College," portrays academia as a side show, with no consideration for the rigor "real" students face to obtain their degrees.

I do not wish to disparage my colleagues at Nebraska ... I simply want to share with you my disbelief that any reputable institution of higher education would have ever given this proposal a second thought.

A promotional army of zero

This just in:

• "The U.S. Army has reissued request for proposals for its ad contract, estimated at $200 million." (Media Daily News) This is the second time the Army has tried to change advertisers. Which likely means the shop that they couldn't dump (which I think was Leo Burnett), dumped the Army. I can't imagine why. Their product practically sells itself!
• When low-rated makeover shows get re-upped, it’s a given the producers will call their own wrecking crew of 200 in to smash down everything. Hence this from NBC Universal and Bunim-Murray: “The innovative, critically-acclaimed series has broken with its own tradition and started the season with a surprise: men have joined women in the STARTING OVER house. The third season starts with four couples moving into a new STARTING OVER house in Southern California's San Fernando Valley.” But they won’t be doing porn. Well, unless it’s part of their “empowerment agenda” for turning their lives around. And making some serious moolah.
• FX is going to start double-running its Thursday comedies, "Starved" and "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," Tuesdays after "Rescue Me." This is not a shocker. Thursday is a brand new night for the cable channel, and "Philadelphia," at least, deserves a bigger audience than it's getting.
• What is it with these silly mini-renewals? Okay, eight new "Sopranos" episodes, I get that that's a big deal. But two extra eps of "Being Bobby Brown"? And now this from Comedy Central, announcing that "The network has extended the first season run of cable television's hottest comedian and his critically-acclaimed variety/comedy series, Mind of Mencia, by 3 episodes, with the season now running through September 28." Big whoop. Like we were counting the days till the finale!

Paula and Tommy - 2 more reasons to watch cable

In today's TV Barn Radio segment of my KMOX show, Aaron Barnhart talks about Paula Abdul getting a clean bill of health from the Fox investigators, plus new shows for this week -- "Tommy Lee Goes To College," the series finale of "Six Feet Under," and "Inside 9/11," which debuts Sunday night on the National Geographic channel. (Link: HarrisOnline.com)

And regarding "Tommy Lee" ... "if this show had been shot on a set at NBC in Burbank and the Nebraskans flown in, it could not be more artificial." Read my review at the Kansas City Star (which accepts any RealCities paper's registration)

Update: Simon Cowell now says, “Paula Abdul is coming back to the show and absolutely rightly so.  The show would not be the same without Paula.” What a weasel!

You killed Nate!!

Alan Ball, the Oscar-winning creator of "Six Feet Under" -- okay, he won the Oscar for "American Beauty" -- had a phoner with TV writers today to discuss the last episode of "SFU," airing Sunday. (There's also a one-hour look back at the five seasons of the show premiering at 8 tonight on HBO.)

Yes, he's aware there was an outcry to the killing off of Nate's (Peter Krause) character before the season finale. Yes, he's a little surprised by the reaction. Here's why he did it (MP3, 1:12).

This just in

ABC has just announced that its nightly newscast will now be titled simply "ABC World News Tonight."

Because "Without Peter Jennings" would've been, you know, a bit much.

***

Christopher Walken is running for president. This is not, as far as we can tell, a joke.

Wait a minute: Yes it is a joke.

Link: Walken 2008 - Official Website.

Welcome

New around here? Then click on "About the new site" (I'd link it, but it's good practice for you to find the "Spotlight Posts").

And don't forget you can get the best of the blog, plus all the talk show lineups you can eat, by joining the weekly TV Barn newsletter (online since 1994).

A face in the crowd

Is Jon Stewart becoming the most powerful man in cable TV?

Consider. His rant last year on CNN whipped its way around the Web and became known as "the 13 minutes that killed Crossfire." No one can prove that Stewart was responsible for being anything but serendipitous, showing up to plug his book at the same moment the latest set of CNN executives were considering finally burying a hatchet in that wretched circle jerk. (One of them, Jon Klein, did credit Stewart with making "a good point about the noise level of these types of shows, which does nothing to illuminate the issues of the day.")

Now, mere months later, Stewart may have struck again.

What They Should've Said!

The only way I can bring myself to watch cable news programs (other than Keith Olbermann's admirable "Countdown") is to talk back to them, pretty much continuously. Sit with me while watching CNN or MSNBC and my side of the conversation will sound something like this: "You idiot, he just said that ... Oh, there's a great question ... If you're going to keep showing that clip, take down the LIVE graphic ... Stop talking. Now!" 

Today, thanks to the Comments feature of this blog, we're going to turn that exercise into a game. Please join in and help make it America's fastest-growing fill-in-the-blank sensation. Winner gets the DVD of his/her liking from my rockpile. We'll call it

What They Should've Said!

Here's how we play.  I'll quote you the actual transcript of an exchange between a well-paid TV journalist and his/her newsmaker interview guest.  I'll also quote what the guest said. YOU offer the alternative comeback that the guest should've used.  Ready?

CNN, "The Situation Room," Thursday, Aug. 11, 2005

WOLF BLITZER (who, by my count, averaged 19.5 mentions of "The Situation Room" per hour during the first week of the show): We're out of time, but a quick question. I want to put a picture up. You're not going to see it, but it's you in the situation room in the West Wing of the White House. The former vice president is there. Your former national [security] advisor. It's a good picture. You're now in the CNN SITUATION ROOM, at least via satellite -- how do you feel?

BILL CLINTON: Well, I like being in the other situation room, but I like this one better: There's less pressure and more freedom and I know I can walk out on you. I couldn't walk out of those other situations.

WHAT HE SHOULD'VE SAID: Oh, Wolf, if you were any more of a corporate shill you'd be answering to the director of communications.

***

Okay, so my id isn't very clever ... but this isn't about me, it's about you.

What should Clinton have said? Click Comments to see other entries and to add your own. Game's over when I say it's over. Good luck!