TV Barn's TV Picks for September 20

For which PBS children's series did Mo Rocca write and produce before joining TDS?

A) "Arthur"
B) "Barney"
C) "Reading Rainbow"
D) "Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?"
E) "Wishbone"

TV Barn's TV Picks for Wednesday, September 20, 2006

by Tom Heald with Jon Delfin

All times Eastern

For PBS programs, check local listings

= = = = =

Aaron Barnhart's reviews of "Jericho" and "Kidnapped" will be found at tvbarn.com.

= = = = =

7:30 p.m.
"Access Granted" (BET): Anthony Hamilton

8 p.m.
The serial killer of the week is on "Bones" (Fox). Settle in for some nice dinner of roast spleen with lentil beans and a nice boxed Zinfandel.

"The Biggest Loser" (NBC) starts the year off with contestants from all 50 states. Sorry, Virgin Islands.

Hassles with tassels and spats over spats may be found on the "Dancing With the Stars Results-a-Palooza" (ABC).

The new network officially kicks off the new season with Tyra casting, then casting off, two wacky chicks on "America's Next Top Model" (CW).

"Jean-Michel Cousteau: Ocean Adventures" (PBS) spelunks for sea turtles, coral and Keebler SpongeBob SquarePants(tm) brand Animal Crackers.

TELE-GEBRA
"Invasion" + "Red Dawn" x "Major Dad" = "Jericho" (CBS). Granted, Showtime already did this version of "Lost" with Luke Perry, Sean Astin and Malcolm-Jamal Warner. Bring on the giant worms from "Tremors" for sweeps.

"Explorer" (National Geographic): "Ultimate Cat" with power steering and Onstar!
"Modern Marvels" (History; see also 10): "Renewable Energy"
"Under Fire" (Court; also 8:30)
"Full Frontal Fashion" (WE): "Under the Tents"

9 p.m.
"American Masters" (PBS) gives Andy Warhol seven other people's amounts of fame as well.

"Criminal Minds" (CBS) tries to unravel the clues from "The Fisher King." Come on, Terry Gilliam's film wasn't that bad.

A relapse at rehab leads to a case of assassination at Betty Ford's Theater on "Justice" (Fox).

Hey Wilma! "The Hill" (Sundance) casts the first Flintstone as a hurricane hits Wexler's district. Which way is the political wind blowing?

"Professional Poker Tour" (Travel)
"Forensic Files" (Court)
"Notorious" (Biography): "Blueprint for a Murder"
"Seconds From Disaster" (National Geographic): "Department Store Collapse" (And that's just K-Mart's stock before they merged with Sears!)

9:30 p.m.
"Missing Persons Unit" (Court)

10 p.m.
"CSI: NY" (CBS) hopes you'll buy the story of a corpse found at the Brooklyn Bridge, and his marriage proposal written up in lights.

"Criss Angel Mindfreak" (A&E) is shackled to a 300-pound cage and sunk to the bottom of the ocean in Cozumel, Mexico. Can he illegally immigrate back to the surface?

NEW-SENSE
Where "Vanished" whips by with incomprehensible theory after theory faster than Ann Coulter with ADHD, "Kidnapped" (NBC) has won me over in this battle of the CSIamese twins. Unlike the blank slate that is the Senator's wife, we're given a chance to know and like Leopold and his obscenely wealthy kin before he's snatched by hired thugs for reasons unknown. Jeremy Sisto is a warm, if anti-social, expert kid-finder who breaks the rules more than the writers of "Survivor." The Commissioner Gordon to Sisto's Batman is Delroy Lindo, not only a world-weary FBI agent in the midst of Danny Glover's "getting-too-old-for-this

-expletive-deleted" planned retirement, but -- you guessed it -- Sisto's former partner. There are, as we open, four stories: the neurotic parents (Tim Hutton and Dana Delany), both Sisto and Lindo's cross-purposed rescue attempts, and the escape attempt of the shaggy-haired (what the heck kinda name is) Leopold and his crafty abductors. Like "Vanished," we're assured of 22 episodes of twists and turns with reveals we're not expecting (meaning that Lindo, Sisto and even the kid himself may be in on the scam). It may take all season to solve this jigsaw puzzle of a modern-day Paris Hilton-as-Patty Hearst, but it's certainly more fun of a challenge than the messed up Rubik's Cube on Fox.

"Good Eats" (Food): "Peachy Keen"
"Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County" (MTV)
"Modern Marvels" (History): "Renewable Freight Trains"
"Naked Science" (National Geographic): "Freeze Me"
"Inside the NFL" (HBO)
"Bump 'n' Grind" (BBC America)
"Stunt Junkies: Go Big or Go Home" (Discovery)

10:30 p.m.
"Two-A-Days" (MTV)
"Parco P.I." (Court)

11 p.m.
PETE REPEAT
If you've already TiVoed "Studio 60 Live on the Sunset Strip," and have the DVD of it from Netflix, you can watch a third set tonight on Bravo, just like Peripheral Vision Man.

"Shipwrecked: Battle of the Islands" (BBC America)


BABY, TALK TO ME
* Charlie says Yahoo! to Frank Rich and Terry Semel.
* Johnny Knoxville is a perfect gentlemen on "The Daily Show."
* Diane Lane and Scott McNealy give the sun and the moon to Tavis.
* James Carville rages against "The Colbert Report."
* Marg Helgenberger, Ronn Lucas & Scorch and Diana Krall are just one of those marvelous things for Dave.
* Steve Carell, Jamie Lee Curtis and Joan Jett discuss their bad reputations.
* Dwayne Johnson, Bam Margera and Lupe Fiasco rock Jimmy.
* Bob Newhart, Elle Macpherson and Jimmy Carr distract Conan.
* James Woods, George Eads and Heartland join Craig for shark week.
* Hayden Panettiere and Meg and Dia throw their voices for Carson.


QUITE FETCHING
Rocca helped supply some of the modernized literary adventures of the Walter Mitty-esque talking Jack Russell terrier E) "Wishbone." Also on his resume: former editor of Perfect 10, a magazine that only features models without breast implants.