TV Barn's TV Picks for Sept. 27

Which character sings on the "My Name Is Earl" soundtrack album?

A) Crabman
B) Joy
C) Nescobar-A-Lop-Lop
D) Patty the Daytime Hooker
E) Willie the One-Eyed Mailman

TV Barn's TV Picks for Wednesday, September 27, 2006
by Tom Heald with Jon Delfin
All times Eastern
For PBS programs, check local listings

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7:30 p.m.
"Access Granted" (BET; see also 8:30): Chingy

8 p.m.
With an hour before the fallout hits "Jericho" (CBS), the shelter can't be sealed. Whoops!

"Bones" (Fox) deconstructs a murder at a construction site.

Scissor Sisters liven up "Dancing With the Stars" (ABC). Go Monique!

"The Biggest Loser" (NBC) heads to the beach.

The bimbos don't react well to the traditional extreme hair makeover on "America's Next Top Model" (CW). They also freaked out over last week's nude posing. It's as if they don't watch the [expletive] show.

"Jean-Michel Cousteau: Ocean Adventures" (PBS) visits the wreck of the USS Monitor. How merry.

"Test Lab" (History)
"Under Fire" (Court; also 8:30)
"Blueprint" (BET): Ludacris

8:30 p.m.
"Access Granted" (BET) to Fat Joe.

9 p.m.
It's the episode of "One Tree Hill" (CW) that changes everything ... until next week's episode that changes everything back.

Sydney Pollack narrates "The Sketches of Frank Gehry" on "American Masters" (PBS), as the work makes the transition from drawing to modern architecture.

"Criminal Minds" (CBS) hopes to prevent a child pornographer from completing his online auction of a youngster. eBoy?

The trial is a definite roller coaster on "Justice" (Fox), but was the single mom a victim of negligence by the amusement park, or a cruel case of suicide?

"Lost: A Tale of Survival" (ABC) recaps the show for new viewers, and offers hints on what clues you may have missed even if you have been paying attention.

"The Hill" (Sundance) descends into chaos when decorated war veteran Congressman John Murtha suggests a withdrawal from Iraq and the Republicans call for a vote in the season finale. Four more shows! Four more shows! Four more shows!

"Untold Stories of the E.R." (TLC)
"Seconds From Disaster" (National Geographic)
"Professional Poker Tour" (Travel)

9:30 p.m.
"Missing Persons Unit" (Court)

10 p.m.
The stakes are raised for the Cains as they fear that more than one of their children may be "Kidnapped" (NBC).

It's burglary at Tiffany's as a trio dressed as Holly Golightlys rip off a store heavily on "CSI: NY" (CBS).

"20/20" (ABC) begins the canonization of Steve Irwin.

"Generation Boom: How We Play" (TV Land) hops from hula hoops to HDTV.

Will three designers make if to Fashion Week on "Project Runway" (Bravo), or just two?

Homophobia of the worst kind raises the ire of "Noah's Arc" (Logo).

"What Not to Wear: Have They Remembered?" (BBC America)
"Animal Precinct" (Animal Planet)
"Criss Angel Mindfreak" (A&E): "Magician of the Year"
"The Final Report: Iran Hostage Crisis" (National Geographic)
"Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County" (MTV)
"Good Eats" (Food): "Okraphobia"
"Inside the NFL" (HBO)

10:30 p.m.
"Two-A-Days" (MTV)
"Parco P.I." (Court)
"Ham on the Street" (Food)
"Digimon" (Toon Disney)

11 p.m.
"Shipwrecked: Battle of the Islands" (BBC America)

11:30 p.m.
"The Playbook" (Spike)

PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE
* Larry King offers Clay Aiken a starter wife.
* Abdullah Gul and Nicholas Burns talk Turkey with Charlie.
* Al Franken is good enough for "The Daily Show."
* Maureen Dowd and Forest Whitaker shield themselves from criticism with Tavis.
* Lowell Bergman is smart enough for "The Colbert Report."
* Doggonit, Dave likes Amanda Peet, Nigella Lawson and Bob Seger.
* Evangeline Lilly, Magic Johnson and Aaron Neville are lost in conversation with Jay.
* Kimmel: Jon Heder, Don, Mole & Perry, the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
* Billy Bob Thornton shucks and jives with Conan.
* Forest Whitaker, Julie Walters and Shang Forbes play the crying game with Craig.
* Krista Allen and Alexi Murdoch watch the bay with Carson.

KARMA CHAMELEONS
Earl's English-as-a-second-language student C) Nescobar-A-Lop-Lop and the Camden County Band provide lyrics to the show's theme, "What Goes Around Comes Around."

TV Barn's TV Picks are online anytime at http://tv.yahoo.com/news/tvb/