TV Barn's TV Picks for Sept. 28

Which TV-land hall-of-famer played the wacky maid on the before-its-time sit-bomb "That's My Bush"?

A) Ann B. Davis
B) Inga Swenson
C) Marcia Wallace
D) Marla Gibbs
E) Polly Holliday

TV Barn's TV Picks for Thursday, September 28, 2006
by Tom Heald with Jon Delfin
All times Eastern
For PBS programs, check local listings

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7:30 p.m.
"The Black Carpet" (BET)

8 p.m.
TELE-GEBRA
"My Network TV" x "The Devil Wears Prada" = "Ugly Betty" (ABC). There is actual unattractiveness and "Hollywood Ugly," like Renée Zellweger gaining ten pounds (the horror!) or Sara Rue, who was perfectly fine as a "before." Of course, even with weight loss and beautifying, you can't change someone like Star Jones Reynolds. As Michelle Williams was the non-hip fashion "before" in "Prada," "Betty" downplays its heroine's looks as the series tosses her in with the true "Uglies" -- a  lions' den of "Project Runway" designers ready to use pinking shears to stab her in the back.

Clark tries to escape from the Phantom Zone as Zod wreaks havoc while in control of Lex's body on "Smallville" (CW).

The spearfishing and battle of the sexes progress on "Survivor: Anyone Want a Mountain Dew?" (CBS).

UNNECESSARY STUNT TYPECASTING
"My Name Is Earl" (NBC): Burt Reynolds. Plot: A strip club owner jumps for Joy.

Learn about the origins of the McDonald's combo meal in "Where Did It Come From?" (History): "Ancient Greece: Weapons of Mass Destruction."

TCM DVD THEATER
Dick Cavett's interview with Alfred Hitchcock is the McGuffin, followed by airings of "Suspicion" (9:15), "Foreign Correspondent" (12:15 a.m.) and "North by Northwest" (2:30).

"Signé Chanel" (Sundance): "Sleepless Nights"
"'Til Death" (Fox)

8:30 p.m.
"The Office" (NBC) holds another party. It seems Michael don't want to work. he just want to bang on the drum all day.

9 p.m.
An octet of Americans begin a six-week trek across South Africa in "Moms on the Road: Africa" (Travel; also 10).

Watch out for falling bodies in "Murder City" (BBC America).

The guy from "Talk Soup" ... no, not him, the other one ... no, not skunk boy ... yeah, the guy from "Queer as Folk," and "Xena" and "The Tap Dance Kid" face off on "Celebrity Duets" (Fox).

Izzie in or Izzie out? The interns rally 'round the rectal thermometer to plead for her reinstatement on "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC).

One of the "Supernatural" (CW) clings to life as the family faces off against its greatest enemy. Of course, if they all die, "Aquaman" will be in this time slot next week.

COMPLETELY NECESSARY STUNT DEATH PATROL
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" (CBS): Danny Bonaduce. Plot: A Partridge in a snare. (Gee.)

Will a hotel clerk check out with a big tip from "Deal or No Deal" (NBC)? Paging Mr. Herman to the front desk!

"The First 48" (A&E)
"Voces" (PBS): "Lalo Guerrero: The Original Chicano"

10 p.m.
Fromsweaty palms to Viagra, "Generation Boom" (TV Land) recalls "How We Love."

The mayor gives "Shark" (CBS) two choices for a cop killer: Convict him or convict him.

The connections start piling up on "Six Degrees" (ABC) as Mae sticks around New York and Carlos helps try an attempted murder case.

UNNECESSARY GAUZE STAR PATROL
"ER" (NBC): Sally Field, John Stamos. Plot: Abby's mother smothers her emotionally.

"Fakely Sensing Murder" (Discovery): "Mountain Murders"
"Throwdown With Bobby Flay" (Food): Chowder
"The Underground" (Showtime)
"The Ultimate Fighter" (Spike)
"Wild 'n Out" (MTV)
"Dallas SWAT" (A&E)
"Animal Precinct" (Animal Planet): "New Hope for Helen"

10:30 p.m.
"Ace of Cakes" (Food): "Triple Crown Cake"
"Pimp My Ride" (MTV)
"Crimefighters" (BBC America): "Under the Influence"
"Digimon" (Toon Disney)

11 p.m.
"Famous" (Biography): Robert Downey Jr.
"TNA iMPACT!" (Spike)

PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE
* Charlie sets up a crossfire/firing squad over the Clinton administration's anti-terror efforts with (poor baby) Chris Wallace, David Remnick, Richard Clarke and Al Hunt.
* Criminal American Jim McGreevey goes out for "The Daily Show."
* Tavis celebrates the legacy of Miles Davis with Herbie Hancock, Erin Davis and Vince Wilburn Jr.
* Steve Wozniak polishes up a golden delicious for the teacher on "The Colbert Report."
* Sir Richard Branson, Dane Cook and Monica rebel against Dave.
* Ashton Kutcher, Jenna Fischer and Amos Lee guard Jay.
* Anthony Anderson, Evangeline Lilly (maybe) and Ludacris bring clips for Jimmy Kimmel.
* John Stamos, Amy Poehler and Nigella Lawson wish Conan a good night and a pleasant tomorrow.
* Billy Connolly, Michael Ian Black (maybe) and M. Ward offer a Stella show for Craig.
* Jon Heder and Living Things vote for Carson.

DUSTING FOR PRINCE
C) Marcia Wallace sassed the dumb W. in the intentionally lame spoof.

TV Barn's TV Picks are online anytime at http://tv.yahoo.com/news/tvb/