TV Barn's TV Picks for Sept. 9-10

TV Barn's TV Picks for Saturday and Sunday, September 9-10, 2006
by Tom Heald with Jon Delfin
All times Eastern
For PBS programs, check local listings

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SATURDAY
11 a.m. and 8 p.m.
U.S. Open tennis (CBS)

5 p.m.
"Child Star Confidential" (E!): "Totally BFF"

7:30 p.m
"Growing Up Creepie" (Discovery Kids; premiere)

8 p.m.
The Ohio State Hi in the Middles take on the Texas Body Dragged Behind a Cars (ABC).

A street fighter (Jet Li, need you ask?) learns kindness from the wise old black man (Morgan Freeman, need you ask?) after escaping from a more evil than normal loan shark (Bob Hoskins, okay you might not have predicted him) in "Unleashed" (HBO).

"Tom Brokaw Reports: America Remembers: 9/11 Controllers" (NBC)
"Trapped in the Towers: The Elevators of 9/11" (A&E)
"The Replacements" (Disney)
"Flight 29 Down" (Discovery Kids)
"Property Ladder" (TLC)
"World's Most Amazing Videos" (Spike)
"Cops" (Fox; season premiere; also 8:30)
"Fantastic Four" (Cartoon)

8:30 p.m.
"American Dragon: Jake Long" (Disney)

9 p.m.
"Cold Case Files" (A&E) says hello, Dahlia. Yes, hello, Dahlia. It's so nice to have you black where you belong.

Her husband is gay on "Sasquatch Mountain" (Sci Fi).

There are sasquatches on the mountain in "My Husband Is Gay" ("Hot Docs," BBC America).

Kim Basinger stars in "The Mermaid Chair" (Lifetime). Will she be able to free herself from a loveless marriage, find her true soul mate, and unlock the secrets of her mother's past though the secrets of the saints? In a chick flick based on a best-selling romance novel? Place your bets.

"Monkey Dust" (Sundance)
"Chef and the Architect" (Food)
"Greatest Moments" (CMT): Wynonna Judd
"Dateline NBC" (NBC): "The Miracle of Ladder Company No. 6"
"America's Most Wanted: Season XX Premiere" (Fox)
"Naruto" (Cartoon)
"Serious" (Discovery Kids)
"Disorderly Conduct: Video on Patrol" (Spike)
"Flip That House" (TLC; also 9:30)

9:30 p.m.
"Zatch Bell" (Cartoon)

10 p.m.
The Clinton Administration is blamed in "The Path to Bobobo-bo Bo-Bobo" (Cartoon).

"Kylie Minogue: Showgirl" (BBC America; followed by "Kylie: The Interview" at 11)
"Headbanger's Ball" (MTV2): All That Remains
"Body of Evidence: From the Case Files of Dayle Hinman" (Court)

midnight
"Action Sports" (USA)
"Soapography" (SOAPnet; also 12:30)

12:30 a.m.
"Bleach" (Cartoon)

1 a.m.
"Eureka 7" (Cartoon)

1:30 a.m.
"Inuyasha" (Cartoon)

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SUNDAY
4 p.m.
U.S. Open tennis (CBS)

7 p.m.
President Clinton is blamed for your condition on "dLife: For Your Diabetes Life" (CNBC).

Katherine Couric picks herself up, dusts off Ground Zero and starts reporting for "60 Minutes" (CBS) all over again.

Waiter, there's a dead waitress in my soup on "Just Legal" (WB), and I specifically ordered it with flies!

7:55 p.m.
Do please join us at TV Picks as we ridicule the Disney Channel for misspelling the title of "Miniscule" [sic].

8 p.m.
Facts are demolished and rebuilt on "Extreme Makeover: 9/11 History Edition" (ABC; concludes Monday).

Was Spock correct when he said, "Were I to invoke logic, however, logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few"? Find out on "Koppel on Discovery: The Price of Security" (Discovery).

THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT GUEST STAR PATROL
"The Simpsopranos" (Fox): Joe Mantegna, Joe Pantoliano, Michael Imperioli, Metallica. Plot: When Fat Tony's son reveals he'd rather be a "Top Chef," it's Homer to the rescue to save the mob's future.

PETE REPEAT
Tune in for two continuous hours of swearing in the updated third broadcast of "9/11" (CBS).

"Three Moons Over Milford" (ABC Family) wrestles with consciences and/or old high school nemeses.

"American Vesuvius" (History)
"My Gym Partner Is a Monkey" (Cartoon)
"The E! True Hollywood Story" (E!): "Mischa & Kristin: Babes of O.C."
"Platinum Weddings" (WE)
"Ruckers Special" (MTV2)

8:15 p.m.
The Indianapolis Indianapples face the Donald Trump Endorsed Big New Yorker Pizza (NBC).

8:30 p.m.
UNNECESSARY AT LEAST SHE'S NOT STARRING WITH TOM CRUISE ANYMORE PATROL
"American Dad" (Fox): Thandie Newton. Plot: Steve spends summer camp in Gitmo.

"Power Rangers Generations" (Toon Disney; also 9)

9 p.m.
Havers returns to duty after being shot by one of Dr. House's patients on "Mystery!: The Inspector Lynley Mysteries, Series V: In Divine Proportion: The Two Towers: Void Where Prohibited By Law" (PBS).

Stewie kills Lois with kindness on "Family Guy" (Fox), featuring Seth MacFarlane as the voices of Peter, Stewie and Brian Griffin, Quagmire, Bugs Bunny, Michael Chiklis, Roger Moore, Steve Allen, Tom Tucker, Wilford Brimley, Hadja, Superman and Walt Disney.

The cast tries not to get ANT in their pants on "Celebrity Fit Club" (VH1).

"Legends: Rodney Dangerfield" (Comedy Central)
"Iron Chef America" (Food): Morimoto vs. Yeo Chef
"Bride vs. Bride" (WE)
"Hunter and Hunted" (National Geographic; also 10): "Shark Invasion" & "Ambush"

9:30 p.m.
THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE BEAVER PATROL
"The War at Home" (Fox): Jerry Mathers. Plot: The kids head back to Wolf Lake.

10 p.m.
"The Wire" (HBO; season premiere) goes back to school in the heat of the mayoral race.

A missing girl and the top lie detector's mother are viewed through "Angela's Eyes" (Lifetime).

Buses crash and titans clash on "Brotherhood" (Showtime).

"The Flavor of Love" (VH1) involves a photo shoot, with an old friend making the week's elimination.

President Clinton is blamed on "Bridezillas" (WE).

How do you find a new roommate on 9/12 when your apartment has a "WTC View" (Logo)?

All my exes live in Manchester on "Footballers Wives: Overtime" (BBC America).

"The Girls Next Door" (E!)
"Birthday Cake Surprises" (Food)

10:30 p.m.
"The Venture Brothers" (Cartoon)
"Mile High" (BBC America)

11 p.m.
White people are "like this" on "Russell Simmons' Def Comedy Jam" (HBO).

11:30 p.m.
"Bureau of Alien Detectors" (Toon Disney)

11:45 p.m.
"Metalocalypse" (Cartoon)

12:30 a.m.
"Tom Goes to the Mayor" (Cartoon)

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DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET
E) "Robot Wars: Extreme Warriors" had premiered its newest episode the night before, opposite "Monday Night Football" with commentator Dennis Miller in his second year of too hip for the booth snark/smarminess.

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