Yule want to see these

 
Christmastime is here. And that means, among things, “Christmastime Is Here.”

  Which is why we begin this roundup of holiday TV programming with “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” the only proper way to begin the holiday TV special season. It airs at 7 CT tonight on ABC (KMBC-9). The first “Peanuts” special is still the best, thanks to Vince Guaraldi's matchless score (including “Christmastime Is Here”) and the fact that irony-free sentimentality, when delivered by otherwise unsentimental cartoon characters, gets us every time.

  Robert Smigel, the brilliant lampooner whose “TV Funhouse” cartoons appear on “Saturday Night Live,” once did a short about Jesus coming to Earth and going mad watching all the televangelizers taking His name in vain. In the end, though, our Lord sheds a tear of joy … when he happens on a broadcast of “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” On the new “TV Funhouse” DVD, Smigel admits that he added this scene thinking it would get a laugh out of the audience. To his amazement, everyone cheered instead. Smigel must never have read The Gospel According to “Peanuts.”

 

Here's what else will be showing on television between now and Dec. 25. 

Remember, all times Central:

  “A Tribute to James Taylor,” 8 p.m. Wednesday, KCPT and KTWU. Sting, Jackson Browne, Bruce Springsteen, Sheryl Crow and Paul Simon will make appearances on this PBS spectacular, and Taylor will no doubt serenade his boomer fans with his touching rendition of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.”

  “Bah Humduck: A Looney Tunes Christmas,” 6 p.m. Friday on Cartoon Network. I'll tune this one in just because it's got a cool name, even though there hasn't been a decent Looney Tunes cartoon made since about 1959.

  “Holiday Open House,” 6 p.m. Sunday on DIY (digital cable). Learn how to make all kinds of seasonal décor using ordinary household items. Because nothing says “tis the season” like a Christmas tree made of PVC pipe, clear cement and spray paint.

  “Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town,” 7 p.m. Dec. 5 on ABC (KMBC-9). Somehow, I've always had trouble with this special, because in a match of Mickey Rooney versus someone named Burgermeister Meisterburger, how do you root for Mickey? As Homer Simpson would say, “Mmmm … Meisterburger.”

  “How the Grinch Stole Christmas!”, 6:30 p.m. Dec. 6 on Cartoon Network, also airing 7 p.m. Dec. 12 on ABC (KMBC-9). I know they say that this 1966 classic “stars Boris Karloff,” but the show-stealer was Thurl Ravenscroft (aka Tony the Tiger) for his uncredited vocal on “You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch.” Rumor has it that Jim Carrey made a live-action movie based on this cartoon. Anybody remember that? Anybody remember Jim Carrey?

  “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Raindeer,” “Frosty the Snowman” and “Frosty Returns,” starting at 7 p.m. Dec. 8 on CBS (KCTV-5). ABC is the responsible child, opening her Christmas gifts slowly, taking her turn, waiting for the others … while CBS is the kid who rips them all open at once, presumably so he can get back to watching blood-soaked crime dramas. Fun fact: “Rudolph” is the longest-running animated special on TV at 42 years.

  “The Year Without a Santa Claus,” 8 p.m. Dec. 11 on NBC (KSHB). Soon to be known as “The Christmas Movie Without Any Redeeming Purpose Whatsoever,” this movie starring John Goodman, Chris Kattan, Delta Burke, Kansas City's own Eddie Griffin and -- wait! Don't skip to the next show! It gets better! -- Harvey Fierstein also includes cameos by “Queer Eye” Carson Kressley as Santa's “personal dresser,” Dr. Laura Schlessinger as a TV talk show therapist and Jack La Lanne as Hercules, living on Mt. Olympus. What Hercules is doing in a Christmas movie, you'll just have to tune in and see. Or … not.

  “The 100 Greatest TV Quotes and Catchphrases,” 9 p.m. Dec. 11-15, TV Land. This five-night special has nothing to do with the holiday season, so far as I can tell. But I had the preview tape playing while I typed -- er, I mean while I wrote this, and I had to keep stopping to giggle and watch. Maybe it's just catnip for TV critics, but something tells me you, too, would rather watch this entertaining etymology of such phrases as “Sock it to me” or “Ow, my nose!” or “I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV” than spend five minutes with “The Year Without a Santa Claus.” (Unless it's the part with Jack La Lanne in it. I love that guy.)

  “A Perfect Day,” 7 p.m. Dec. 18 on TNT. Yet another cable weeper sponsored by the folks who sell you baby shampoo. Rob Lowe stars as a famous author who loses his sight, and one is tempted not to make this a metaphor for his post-“West Wing” career choices (how could you turn down the part of McDreamy, fool??). Based on a Richard Paul Evans book not named The Christmas Box.

  “French and Saunders Christmas Celebrity Special,” 10 p.m. Dec. 21 on BBC America. The “Ab Fab” duo are back with another holiday special (which aired in England in 2005). Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders dress up as Boy George and Elton John, then clear the stage for music from the actual Rufus Wainwright.

  “Yule Log,” all day Dec. 25 on inHD (digital high definition cable). “TV's only blazing fireplace filmed entirely in high definition” is the perfect way to show off your new big screen. WGN will air a special on this video institution at 12:30 a.m. Christmas Day, followed by a couple of hours of low-def log burning.

  For those who think the best holiday shows were the ones they watched as a kid, may I recommend a new book by my colleague Diane Werts of Newsday, Christmas on Television (Praeger), And for those of you who want to give TV for the holidays, notable DVD releases include the first season of “St. Elsewhere” (out today), the deluxe “Get Smart” box set (but only on getsmartondvd.com until next year) and two from “Saturday Night Live”: “The Complete First Season 1975-1976” (Dec. 5) and the aforementioned “TV Funhouse” compilation. Smigel, it turns out, is determined to make parodies of every holiday special he saw as a kid. Yes, there's even a satire of “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” because in comedy, nothing, not even “Peanuts,” is sacred.