THE FAB FIVE
Who would most likely have been told to "put a sock in it" on "Fox After Breakfast"/"Breakfast Time"?
A) Bob
B) Carol
C) Ted
D) Alice
E) Tom Bergeron
[Couch your suspicions in one guess and meet us at the bottom of the column for the correct answer.]
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TV Barn's TV Picks for Monday, January 22, 2007
by Tom Heald with Jon Delfin
All times Eastern
For PBS programs, check local listings
GOOD MORNING, TELE-GEBRANAM
"Fox After Breakfast" - the puppets x "Living It Up! With Ali & Jack" = "The Morning Show With Mike (Jerrick) and Juliet (Huddy)" (Fox/syndicated), a wacky program featuring two people who were too lame to remain employed at Fox News Channel (which still employs Geraldo, we're just sayin').
7 p.m.
A young undercover cop helps take down the dealers in "Lincoln Heights" (ABC Family). Give our regards to Jump Street.
8 p.m.
UNNECESSARY WORLD NOT MOVING TO THE BEAT OF JUST ONE GUEST STAR PATROL
"Everybody Hates Chris" (CW): Todd Bridges. Generic Sitcom Cliche #85: Chris learns parenting skills while taking care of an egg.
T-Bag brews, C-Note flees and Michael, Lincoln and Kellerman have more problems with Steadman than even Oprah has on "Prison Break" (Fox).
"Deal or No Deal" (NBC) offers contestants a chance to become Barack Obama's vice presidential candidate.
UNNECESSARY GUEST STAR IN THE MIDDLE
"How I Met Your Mother" (CBS): Bryan Cranston. Plot: Live, nude Barney!?! Suit down!
Dani is lassoed by a rodeo rider, Kris moves in with the family (albeit uncomfortably), and long buried embers smolder for Matt and Kris like "Wildfire" (ABC Family).
"Antiques Roadshow" (PBS) identifies an 18th-century Pennsylvania spice rack to its former Spice Girl owners.
One member of the "Wife Swap" (ABC) gets allergic smelling ... hey!
"Emeril Live" (Food): "Best of Queens"
"Gay, Straight or Taken?" (Lifetime; also 8:30)
"Beach Patrol" (Court)
8:30 p.m.
"The Class" (CBS) gives in to abstinence ... or does it?
Everyone's thrilled Bobby has joined the football team on "All of Us" (CW) ... as a cheerleader?
9 p.m.
RANDOM BIT PLAYER ALERT
"24" (Fox): Harry Lennix as Walid Al-Yankovic. Plot: Darn it, Agent Jack Bauer specifically ordered his patty melt without mushroom clouds. Send this back to the chef!
Peter is comatose, Hiro begins his quest for the sword, Jessica and Niki battle, H.R.G. carries out the plans for Sylar, Indestructible Cheerleader and The Haitian have team spirit, and Suresh learns of the existence of another of the "Heroes" (NBC) on the list.
UNNECESSARY GUEST STAR UNABLE TO TELL WHOSE LINE IT IS, REGARDLESS
"Two and a Half Men" (CBS): Ryan Stiles. Plot: Jake hears adults going bump in the night.
Alexandra Paul hopes to exorcise "Demons From Her Past" (Lifetime) after returning to her hometown to acquit herself of a crime she did not commit 25 years ago.
"Girlfriends" (CW) consider dumping Big Boi-friends.
A pair of marine biologists have problems with their own little sea monkeys at home. Cue "Supernanny" (ABC).
An illegal immigrant hopes to get away with "A Good Murder" (BBC America), if not a perfect one.
"101 Favorite Stars Way Back Then" (E!)
"Digging for the Truth" (History): "Atlantis: New Revelations"
"Festival Dailies" (Sundance)
"Futureweapons" (Discovery): "The Protectors"
"E-Vet Interns" (Animal Planet)
"Combat Zone" (Military)
"Unwrapped" (Food): "Couch Potato"
"I Love New York" (VH1)
"Years of Blood" (Discovery Times; also 10)
"Kids by the Dozen" (TLC)
"My Super Sweet 16" (MTV)
"WWE Monday Night RAW" (USA)
9:30 p.m.
TELE-GEBRA
"Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica" - "Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica" = "Engaged & Underage" (MTV)
Kelly overextends herself during "The Game" (CW), adjusting to her boyfriend's fame. A nervous breakdown causes shame, and this rhyming scheme is really forced.
"Old Christine" (CBS) resents that the hard work she put into cleaning up Richard pays off for "New Christine."
"New York Doll" (Sundance)
10 p.m.
Danny Le Pew chases the apprehensive Jordan through fields of gold while a bachelorette auction takes center stage at "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: Now With 7% More Romantic Comedy!" (NBC).
Tripp triggers a land mine at a "CSI: Miami" (CBS) crime scene. Tune in next week to see if "Stumpy" survives.
UNNECESSARY B-LIST BAYWATCH BABE AT REGULAR RUNNING SPEED PATROL
"What About Brian" (ABC): Krista Allen. Plot: Can Brian's latest girlfriend survive his six-week itch?
"Telling the Truth: The Best in Broadcast Journalism" (PBS)
"REAL Sports With Bryant Gumbel" (HBO)
"The Final Report: Blackhawk Down" (National Geographic)
"The White Rapper Show" (VH1)
"The Hills" (MTV)
"The Secret Life of ... Cheese" (Food)
"High Maintenance 90210: The Secret Life of Cheese Whiz" (E!)
"Weaponology" (Military)
"Stunt Junkies: Go Big or Go Home" (Discovery; also 10:30)
"Extreme Skinny Celebrities" (WE)
10:30 p.m.
"Boulevard of Broken Dreams" (E!)
"Dance Life" (MTV)
midnight
"Aqua Teen Hungerforce" (Cartoon)
PLUG AWAY!
* Rose: John F. Burns, Henry Louis Gates Jr.
* Jon convinces Gen. Rupert Smith to toss watermelons off "The Daily Show" roof.
* Bob Herbert and Jerry Rice go long with Tavis.
* Tom Schaller makes Stephen forget about loving him at the Southern Cross.
* David, don't you hear them at all? David, dear, they're just down the hall, Waitin' there, not makin' a sound. David, come around ... to Kevin Spacey, Alicia Keys, Nellie McKay and the Brooklyn Philharmonic.
* Jennifer Garner, Ty Pennington and Bow Wow come, they saw, they conquer "The Tonight Show."
More talk show information is available at www.interbridge.com/lineupsdate.html and charlierose.com.
ALL HANDS ON DECK
A) 'Twas "Bob, the Puppet" that made mornings merry on "F.A.B."
-- posted by Jon Delfin
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