TV Barn's TV Picks for Jan. 8

TELENOVALIUM
Which of the following is not one of the programs that has aired on MyNetwork TV?

A) "Desire"
B) "Fashion House"
C) "Watch Over Me"
D) "Wicked Wicked Games"
E) "Wild Palms"

[The remote possibility of a correct answer is controlled at the bottom of the column.]

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TV Barn's TV Picks for Monday, January 8, 2007
by Tom Heald with Jon Delfin
All times Eastern
For PBS programs, check local listings



7 p.m.
TELE-GEBRA
"The Wire" + "7th Heaven" = "Lincoln Heights" (ABC Family; repeats at 10 & midnight) as a cop moves his litter of kids into a former crack den. On the bright side, it's possibly the first time African Americans have been seen on the Family Channel.

8 p.m.
The potency of all the tea in China is determined on "Dilute or No Dilute" (NBC).

Religion and sexuality cause problems during our regularly scheduled "Wife Swap" (ABC).

A novelty musical condom that plays "99 Luftballons" causes uncomfortable silence on "How I Met Your Mother" (CBS).

The race is on to win a new client on "Wildfire" (ABC Family).

"Antiques Roadshow" (PBS) goes Hawaiian.

PETE REPEAT
"Star Trek: Enterprise" (Sci Fi)

TELE-GEBRA
"Playing It Straight" x "What's My Line?" = "Gay, Straight or Taken?" (Lifetime; also 8:30). It's lowbrow stereotypes presented in high fidelity quadraphonics.

"Beach Patrol" (Court; also 8:30)
"20th Century Battlefields" (Military): "1973 Middle East"

8:15 p.m.
Florida vs. Ohio State compete for a giant woodpecker-shaped trophy in the "Tostitos Beaks National Championship." (Fox). What? BCS? Oh. That's very different. Never mind.

8:30 p.m.
"The Class" (CBS) visits a bad neighborhood on "The Class Visits a Bad Neighborhood."

9 p.m.
Break out the Cliffs Notes for a Kentucky prison that's taken "Shakespeare Behind Bars" (Sundance).

"Two and a Half Men" (CBS) audition for "Saw: The Musical" as part of a hokey reality show.

TELE-GEBRA
"Shallow Hal" x generic Olsen Twins TV-movie = "To Be Fat Like Me" (Lifetime)

Can "Supernanny" (ABC) prevent a divorce?

APPROACHING THE NORMAN LEAR RECORD
Once upon a time, has-been rapper Flavor Flav appeared on "The Surreal Life." This led to a spin-off with Brigitte Nielsen called "Strange Love." Following that show's "success" (but the failure of said pseudo-relationship), he got his own two-season ghetto fabulous dating show spoof, "Flavor of Love." And as "The Bachelor" spun off one of the losers as "The Bachelorette," so VH1 launches "I Love New York," the spin-off ... of the spin-off ... of the spin-off.

"Hunter and Hunted" (National Geographic): "Horns of Death" (String Section of Pestilence, Reed Section of War and Percussion of Famine; audio equipment provided by J&R Music and Computer World, your source for audio, video, computers, digital cameras, movies and music! Now, may we have our standard product placement fee?)

"The Return" (BBC America)
"WWE Monday Night RAW" (USA)
"Combat Zone" (Military): "Rescue in Panama"
"Unwrapped" (Food): "Wake Up"
"Engineering an Empire" (History): "Da Vinci's World"

9:30 p.m.
Sloane attempts to recover the Rambaldi artifact from within the SD-6's deepest vaults on "The New Adventures of Old Christine" (CBS).

10 p.m.
Is Bridget ready to run away at a corporate retreat? If so, "What About Brian" (ABC)?

A member of the team is accused of murder on "CSI: Miami" (CBS). Is every procedural going to do this plot before the end of the season?

TELE-GEBRA
"Upstairs, Downstairs" - "Upstairs" = "High Maintenance 90210" (E!)

"Anti-Semitism in the 21st Century: The Resurgence" (PBS)
"Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations" (Travel): Ghana
"The Secret Life of ..." (Food): "Diets"
"Crazy Kids Clips" (TLC)

10:30 p.m.
TELE-GEBRA
"American Idol" x "Eminem" = "The White Rapper Show" (VH1), or "Vanilla Ice: The Next Generation"


TALK, OH, BELLE
Stewart: Louis C.K.
Smiley: John F. Burns, Chris Brown
Colbert: Ethan Nadleman
Letterman: David Arquette, Jennifer Hudson
Leno: Kiefer Sutherland, Betty White, Chris Daughtry
O'Brien: Matt Lauer, America Ferrera, Little Big Town
Ferguson: Mario Lopez, Ne-Yo, Shawn Colvin

More talk show information is available at www.interbridge.com/lineupsdate.html and charlierose.com.


SOAP DUDS
We've honestly no idea what the crappy shows on MNTV are.  What we do know is that E) "Wild Palms" was an ABC miniseries co-executive produced by Oliver Stone, based on a comic strip in Details magazine.



-- posted by Jon Delfin