UNREAL ESTATE
Which of the following businesses would you not find in the Salem USA phone directory on "Days of Our Lives"?
A) Basic Black
B) The Brady Pub
C) Mythic Communications
D) The Book Cafe
E) Titan Publishing
[Have Nick and Chelsea safely deliver your answer to the bottom of the column.]
- - - - -
TV Barn's TV Picks for Friday through Sunday, February 9-11, 2007
by Tom Heald with Jon Delfin
All times Eastern
For PBS programs, check local listings
FRIDAY
6 p.m.
"ION Life" (ION, formerly i, formerly Pax)
7 p.m.
"Camp Lazlo" (Cartoon)
"Take Home Chef" (TLC; also 7:30)
8 p.m.
It's the Mob vs. the Mob on a "1 vs. 100" (NBC) winner-take-all showdown as former mob members get a chance in the warm seat.
UNNECESSARY RUNAWAY GIRL GUEST STAR PATROL
When there's something strange in "Ghost Whisperer's" (CBS) neighborhood, who's Melinda gonna call? Mary J o'Bliges.
A detective needs the help of "Nanny 911" (Fox) to control his four-year-old triplets.
"WWE Friday Night SmackDown!" (CW)
"Outrageous Proposals" (TLC)
"Class of 3000" (Cartoon)
"Hannah Montana" (Disney)
"Cowboy U" (CMT)
"The Lost Evidence" (History): "Sicily"
"Video Justice" (Court)
8:30 p.m.
"Cory in the House" (Disney)
"Trick My Truck" (CMT)
"My Gym Partner Is a Monkey" (Cartoon)
9 p.m.
"Now" (PBS) questions the administration's plans to confuse the insurgency by dropping 45,000 copies of Windows Vista over Iraq.
"'Monk' (USA), he's uncle," says Lt. Disher of the victim du jour.
"Close to Home" (CBS) investigates the fraternity of Beta Lotin Vegas.
A mummy goes missing in "Las Vegas" (NBC). Have you checked the audience of Blue Man Group?
Could watching "20/20" kill you? Find out on "20/20" (ABC; also 10). The answer might just save your life.
"Ladette to Lady" (Sundance; season premiere)
"Hyperdrive" (BBC America)
"Ms. Adventure" (Animal Planet)
"Country Fried Home Videos" (CMT)
"Squirrel Boy" (Cartoon)
"Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy" (Fox)
"What Not to Wear" (TLC)
"Club J Concerts" (BETJ; also 10): The Temptations & the Isley Brothers
9:30 p.m.
"Giada's Weekend Getaways" (Food): Santa Fe
"CMT Comedy Stage" (CMT)
9:40 p.m.
"Feel the Force" (BBC America)
10 p.m.
A gay actor is outed for good on "Law & Order" (NBC). Is an minister fundamentally to blame?
A badge of an LAPD officer shows up at a construction site in a box containing a frog that will sing only when Charlie is alone with him on "Numb3rs" (CBS).
"The Soup" (E!) du jour: Niacin Noodle Nightmare.
A weatherman is iced. Can "Psych" (USA) "rain" supreme?
"Battle of the Bears" (National Geographic)
"Crank Yankers" (MTV2)
10:30 p.m.
"Starveillance" (E!) mocks Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore.
"Celebrity Deathmatch" (MTV2)
11 p.m.
"Best Week Ever" (VH1)
"Hardware" (BBC America)
"Gunslinger Girl" (IFC)
"The Planet's Funniest Animals" (Animal Planet)
"Wrestling Society X" (MTV)
11:30 p.m.
"Cashback" (Sundance)
"Basilisk" (IFC)
midnight
"Wild World of Spike" (Spike)
12:30 a.m.
"MXC" (Spike)
1 a.m.
"Game Head" (Spike)
THE VIRGINIA MONOLOGUES
* Rose: Sen. Edward Kennedy, Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
* Penélope Cruz and James Longley evolve with Tavis.
* Rachael Ray, Frank Caliendo (as John Madden) and the Fab Faux are cooking with Dave.
* Drew Barrymore, 12-year-old vacuum cleaner collector Kyle Krichbaum and Solomon Burke give Jay just a little more time.
* Tenacious D and Guillermo del Toro a-maze Jimmy.
* Dylan McDermott, Michael Urie and Lamb of God knit one and purl two with Conan.
* Eddie Griffin, Mat Kearney and Steve Mazan go undercover with Craig.
* Sofía Vergara and the Bird and the Bee spell trouble for Carson.
- - - - -
SATURDAY
5 p.m.
"THS Investigates: Paparazzi" (E!)
6 p.m.
Football: AFC-NFC Pro Bowl (CBS)
"Boulevard of Broken Dreams" (E!)
8 p.m.
Daniel Pearl and his abductors are profiled on "CNN: Special Investigations Unit" (CNN).
An obsessed student kills his teacher on "Dateline" (NBC). 100% TRUE FUN FACT: When former House Speaker Newt Gingrich was 18, he avoided the draft for Vietnam by marrying his 26-year-old high school teacher. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
MARA-WANNA
Two new hours of "Kim Possible" (Disney; season premiere)
"USS Constellation: Battling for Freedom" (History)
"Moving Up" (TLC)
NASCAR Nextel Cup (Fox)
8:30 p.m.
"The Naked Brothers Band" (Nickelodeon)
9 p.m.
"Pumpkinhead: Blood Feud" (Sci Fi) proves you can't keep a good vegetable down. Gee, we coulda had a V-8.
"Skyland" (Nicktoons)
"Take This House and Sell It" (WE; six episodes)
9:45 p.m.
Boxing: Luis Collazo vs. Shane Mosley (HBO)
10 p.m.
Ding, dong. Murder calling on "48 Hours Mystery" (CBS).
"Not Your Average Travel Guide" (Travel; also 10:30): Berlin & Sedona
Elite Xtreme Combat (Showtime)
"Trading Spaces" (TLC)
12:15 a.m.
"Cathouse Season Two" (HBO)
YOUTH IN ASIA THEATER on Cartoon Network
"Naruto" (9 p.m.), "One Piece" (9:30), "The Prince of Tennis" (10), "Mar" (10:30), "Trinity Blood" (11:30), "Bleach" (midnight), "Eureka 7" (12:30 a.m.)
VIVA VARIETY
Kate Walsh guests on "MADtv," Forest Whitaker and Keith Urban are the last Kings of Comedy on "Saturday Night Live" and John C. McGinley stops by Spikeshow.
- - - - -
SUNDAY
6:30 p.m.
"Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide" (Nickelodeon)
7 p.m.
"Grease: You're the One That I Want" (NBC) continues to make "American Juniors" look like "I Claudius."
"60 Minutes" (CBS) reveals which of the "American Idol" auditioners are on the Homeland Security No Fly List.
SWEEPSPLOITATION
"Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" (ABC; two hours) helps one of the first responders from Sept. 11. Cue basket of puppies.
"Drake & Josh" (Nickelodeon)
"dLife: For Your Diabetes Life" (CNBC)
"MythBusters: Mega Movie Myths" (Discovery; also 8)
"Another Enchanted Evening" (ALN): figure skating
7:30 p.m.
"Reba" (CW)
"Just Jordan" (Nickelodeon)
7:55 p.m.
Congratulations to the Disney Channel for finally learning how to spell "Minuscule."
8 p.m.
UNNECESSARY GUEST MISSION IMPROBABLE ALERT
"7th Heaven" (CW): Peter Graves. Plot: Ruthie and her beau get matching tattoos. Oh, how white trash.
"Nature" (PBS) profiles Supersize Crocs. Would you like flies with that?
SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE
* "The 49th Annual Grammy Awards" (CBS) presents statuettes representing a music format that barely exists anymore to musicians you were already tired of a year ago to help boost their album sales. (Preshow at 5 on E! and at 7:30 on MTV.)
* The winners actually get to present more than ten seconds of their speeches, provided they use the proper grammar at the "British Academy Film Awards" (BBC America).
UNNECESSARY EVEY PATROL
"The Simpsons" (Fox): Natalie Portman. Plot: Are the Simpsons Native Americans? Why does Bart have a driver's license? And what about the running gag we have regarding Naomi?
"Celebrities and Game Shows" (GSN)
"AKC Agility Invitational 06/07" (Animal Planet)
"Emeril Live" (Food): "Emeril's Chocolate Challenge"
"Modern Marvels" (History): "Ice Ice Baby"
"Lockdown" (National Geographic; also 9 & 10)
8:30 p.m.
UNNECESSARY HEARTBREAKING GUEST STAR PATROL
"King of the Hill" (Fox): Tom Petty, John Goodman. Plot: Hank doesn't mind spiders and snakes. That actually is what it takes to love him, like he wants to be loved by you.
9 p.m.
Mike remembers bits and pieces while Lynette and Tom are all fired up near their stone oven on "Desperate Housewives, Two Guys and a Pizza Place" (ABC).
"The Apprentice: Los Angeles" (NBC) learns about the birds and the bees, mostly the bees.
TELE-GEBRA
"A Christmas Carol" + two months = "A Valentine Carol" (Lifetime)
The legend of Dracula is reborn in Great Britain on "Masterpiece Theatre" (PBS), or perhaps we should refer to it as DraUKula.
UNNECESSARY ... NAH, WE EXPECT THIS ON THIS SHOW
"Family Guy" (Fox): Charles Durning, Phyllis Diller. Plot: Peter learns the truth about his real father -- He's the congressman from "Heroes"?
Vorenus returns to the Collegium in "Rome" (HBO), where Wild Bill and Calamity Jane are already plotting their next moves.
"The Dresden Files" (Sci Fi) doggedly paws through some ritualistic slayings.
Chris and Adrianne Curry-Knight return for the "Surreal Life Fame Games" (VH1). The Beatles were wrong; all you need is more camera time.
"Iron Chef America" (Food): Bobby Flay vs. Graham Bowles
"Secret History of the Freemasons" (Discovery)
"Hawaii Do's and Don'ts" (Travel)
9:30 p.m.
UNNECESSARY CAMEO WILL DESTRUCT IN FIVE SECONDS PATROL
"American Dad" (Fox): Peter Graves, Patton Oswalt. Plot: "A.T.: The Abusive Terrestrial."
10 p.m.
A fighter is KO'ed on "Crossing Jordan" (NBC).
The illegal immigrants may be spreading disease on "Battlestar Galactica" (Sci Fi), unless this is just a reairing of "Lou Dobbs Tonight."
"The L Word" (Showtime) is "Luck Be a Lady" as the gals ante up for a Salacious Poker Showdown.
Andy has a gay olde time with Ian McKellen on "Extras" (HBO).
Kitty and her ball of yarn get VD ... er, V-Day on "Brothers & Sisters" (ABC).
"Hogan Knows Best" (VH1)
"Footballers Wives: Overtime" (BBC America; also 10:30)
"Challenge" (Food): "Chocolate Runway"
"Tease" (Oxygen)
"American Chopper" (TLC): "Mikey Special"
10:30 p.m.
"Shooting Sizemore" (VH1)
11 p.m.
"Talk Sex With Sue Johanson" (Oxygen)
11:45 p.m.
"Tim and Eric's Awesome Show, Great Job" (Cartoon)
midnight
TELE-GEBRA
"Land of the Lost" x "Adult Swim" = "Saul of the Mole Men" (Cartoon)
- - - - -
MONDAY NEWS IN BRIEF
ABC: "Wife Swap," "Supernanny," "What About Brian"
CBS: "... Mother," "The Class," "Two and a Half Men," "Rules of Engagement," "CSI: Miami"
CW: "... Chris," "All of Us," "Girlfriends," "The Game"
Fox: "24" (two hours)
NBC: "Deal or No Deal," "Heroes," "Studio 60 ..."
PBS: "Antiques Roadshow," "American Experience: New Orleans"
ABC Family: "Lincoln Heights," "Wildfire"
Lifetime: "Nora Roberts' Blue Smoke"
USA: Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show
Sundance: "Georgi and the Butterflies"
HBO: "REAL Sports With Bryant Gumbel"
- - - - -
DOOL-ING BANJOS
While the rest are owned by Victor, John, Caroline, Shawn Sr., Kate and E.J., D) The Book Cafe can be found on NBC's "Passions."
-- posted by Jon Delfin
Comments