You wake up and it's like it all happened before ... I'm talking about February sweeps, but you knew that
Here's an oddity:
This year, the February “sweeps” are actually going to begin and
end in the month of February. Usually, Nielsen starts the big mid-winter
ratings period in January, or ends it in March, but expects us to refer
to it as the “February” sweep.
Well, precision was never Nielsen's game, despite what this company built on data might have you believe. Only last week, Nielsen announced it was going to start counting the millions of college kids who watch TV in their dorms. I'm sure over at NBC they said, “You're a little late!”
NBC, you see, has for decades wanted dorm viewership to count in the ratings. It was 25 years ago this week that David Letterman began doing a late-night talk show for NBC. He was an immediate hit on America's campuses … but thanks to Nielsen's indifference no one really knew how big.
And so you see, boys and girls, that's how Jay was able to snatch “The Tonight Show” away from Dave …
But enough ancient history. Here's what's coming up for sweeps, which started Feb. 1 and conclude Feb. 28:
All times Central.
So let's say, just hypothetically, that you don't want to watch eight hours of football on Sunday. You could instead tune to “Puppy Bowl III” at 2 p.m. on Animal Planet, where the adorable doggies roll around and horseplay on a non-regulation-sized field. It's every bit as cute and chaotic as 6-year-olds playing soccer, only nobody's yelling at them. Fox is airing “X2: X-Men United” at 6:30 p.m.
As always, certain cable channels are using the big game to attract the fairer sex. Lifetime is showing the Jennifer Aniston movie “The Good Girl” (Jake Gyllenhaal's in it, too), at 4 p.m., midway through a marathon of chick flicks. At during halftime of the Super Bowl, switch over to the Hallmark Channel for “Whole Lotta Love,” a half-hour compendium of “classic” Hallmark Cards and “Hall of Fame” commercials.
CBS unveils a new sitcom, “Rules of Engagement,” tailored to remind viewers of its old sitcoms (8:30 p.m. Monday). David Spade is the designated playboy, a la Doogie Howser on “How I Met Your Mother” and Charlie Sheen on “Two and a Half Men.”
Three movies adapted from Nora Roberts novels air on Lifetime the next three Mondays (8 p.m. on Feb. 5, 12, 19).
“Bastards of the Party” (9 p.m. Tuesday, HBO) is that rare gem: a historical documentary that makes you feel like it all happened yesterday. And for good reason. Filmmaker Cle Sloan is looking at the gangs of Los Angeles, which he took part in from the age of 12. Hall of Famer Jim Brown helped get Sloan into the film business, and his odyssey to uncover the roots of L.A. gangs began. To his surprise, the Crips and Bloods date back to political movements of the 1940s, and Sloan would like to see the gangs returning someday to its origins, which were about empowerment instead of destruction.
“Lost” returns to ABC in a new later time period. Based on the screener I can tell you that mfllffmmgrbldrrfrp … (9 p.m. Wednesday).
For those of you who wondered if, not when, Gil Grissom would return from his sabbatical to “CSI,” wonder no more. William Petersen's character is back just in time for sweeps (8 p.m. Thursday, CBS), and surprise surprise, he immediately discovers why everyone thinks his temporary replacement Keppler (Liev Schreiber) is so secretive and creepy.
“24” has a two-hour blockbuster Feb. 12 (Fox). Not only does this show follow the clock, but the calendar as well: To make up for a late start to its season, Fox needed to find a place on the schedule to air back-to-back episodes so that “24” can finish in the last week of May sweeps.
“Frontline: News War” (Feb. 13, 20, 27 and March 27 on PBS). Lowell Bergman raises troubling questions about his fellow journalists and his industry in general, which is beset by unprecedented challenges to its credibility and viability.
“Jericho” returns with a handy catch-up clip show (Feb. 14, CBS) before resuming the story on Feb. 21. In addition, an online “Inside Jericho” talk show launches Feb. 22 on CBS.com.
Not to be out-thrilled by American TV show, the Brits respond with “The State Within.” This miniseries about Western leaders who try to spin a terrorist attack for political gain is from the writers of HBO's “Dirty War” (Feb. 17, BBC America).
“Slings & Arrows,” a gift from Canada, airs its brilliant third season with a truly Shakespearean story arc (Feb. 18, Sundance).
“Hip-Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes” (Feb. 20). An aficionado of rap calls the music of his life into question for its unsavory social messages in this PBS documentary.
“Sit Down Comedy With David Steinberg” (Feb. 21, TV Land). Jerry Seinfeld, Robin Williams and others discuss their craft with the onetime TV star turned director, who is no James Lipton, thank heaven.
“The O.C.,” the hottest TV series to go ice-cold since Arsenio Hall's talk show, signs off for good Feb. 22 (Fox 4).
The 79th Academy Awards bring an end to something even more overhyped than Nielsen sweeps months -- namely, awards season. Ellen DeGeneres, in case you haven't heard, is host (Feb. 25, KMBC).
