THREE STRIKES, YOU'RE OUT
Which guest star has murdered the most people in cases solved by Lt. Columbo?
A) Robert Culp
B) George Hamilton
C) Patrick McGoohan
D) William Shatner
E) Robert Vaughn
[Just one more thing, the correct suspect will be arraigned at the bottom of the column.]
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TV Barn's TV Picks for Monday, March 12, 2007
by Tom Heald with Jon Delfin
All times Eastern
For PBS programs, check local listings
7 p.m.
Will the family leave "Lincoln Heights" (ABC Family) or will this wait until they're canceled?
"My Life as a Child" (TLC)
7:30 p.m.
"Hotwyred" (BET)
8 p.m.
Chris Rock gets James Lipton to say the words "Pootie Tang" "Inside the Actors Studio" (Bravo).
"Deal or No Deal" (NBC; two hours) du jour: a punch in the stomach or a kick in the head, only 99 cents on aisle 7. Thank you for shopping at War*Mart.
Kris' half brother crosses her like "Wildfire" (ABC Family).
SPORTS-GEBRA
Kung fu x wrestling + minor league baseball = "IFL Battleground" (My NetworkTV). We shall no longer talk about Fight Club.
"The New Adventures of Old Christine" (CBS; also 8:30) makes embarrassing phone calls while on sleeping pills and learns an astonishing secret after sleeping (without pills) with Richard's brother. I'd watch but I plan to be sleeping.
"Emeril Live" (Food): "Wholly Macaroni"
8:30 p.m.
"Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 2007" (VH1 Classic)
9 p.m.
PERHAPS THEY'LL LET HIM RIDE THE *BIG* CHOO CHOO TRAINS PATROL
I give you CTU Agent Ricky Schroeder on "24: Day 6" (Fox). Please for the love of God, do not kill Jack Bauer.
EVERY TIME YOU GO AWAY
* "Silent Witness" (BBC America) takes a stab at catching its latest serial murderer.
* "Supernanny" (ABC) helps a couple with a daycare center, where they raise the little human veal in 3x4 stalls.
On the run with a bag of diamonds and the mob on her tail, a con artist turns to the only woman she can trust in "Cleaverville" (Lifetime).
Donnie Wahlberg and Jason Gedrick become the "Kings of South Beach" (A&E) by running out the mob and turning it into a place where Cindy Margolis can host an even lamer show than Anna Nicole's.
"I Love New York" (VH1) loves Palm Springs.
"Décryptage" (Sundance)
"Bizarre Foods With Andrew Zimmern" (Travel)
"High Stakes Poker" (GSN): "Secrets of the Mummies"
"Digging for the Truth" (History): "Secrets of the Mummies"
"Futureweapons" (Discovery): "Smart Destroyers"
"WWE Monday Night RAW" (USA): "The Battle of the Billionaires"
"My Super Sweet 16" (MTV): "Secrets of the Mummies"
9:30 p.m.
"Do not get aroused from a massage from 'not your wife'" is #87 in the "Rules of Engagement" (CBS).
EVERY TIME YOU GO AWAY
"Engaged & Underage" (MTV)
10 p.m.
"The Black Donnellys" (NBC) Irish wake me up, before they go-go.
TELE-GEBRA
"Little Miss Sunshine" + "The Grifters" x "Desperate Housewives" = "The Riches" (FX)
The girls of "Australia's Next Top Model" (VH1) go horseback riding for ... some reason.
UNNECESSARY SHA LA LA LA PATROL
"What About Brian" (ABC): Meredith Baxter. No, Brian's not dating her, she's his girlfriend's mother. Uh oh, he's probably dating her.
"Stunt Junkies: Go Big or Go Home" (Discovery): "Human Slingshot"
"The Hills" (MTV)
"Suburban Secrets" (Court)
"Weaponology" (Military)
INSERT PUNNY TALK SHOW HEADER HERE
More talk show information is available at www.interbridge.com/lineupsdate.html.
* Rose: Mark Halperin, Adam Nagourney, Al Hunt; Andrea Koppel, Jonathan Weisman; Wynton Marsalis
* Sen. Christopher Dodd ensnares Dazzler on "The Daily Show."
* Nicholas D. Kristof learns how to control his powers on "The Colbert Report."
* Chris Rock, Sandra Oh and Amy Winehouse battle Dr. Doom as Dave looks on.
* Mark Wahlberg, Brad Garrett and My Chemical Romance join the mutant underground on "The Tonight Show."
* David Hyde Pierce, Kate Mara and Dr. Dog fight the Red Skull for Conan.
THIS ONE THING THAT'S BEEN BOTHERING ME
C) Patrick McGoohan has been a repeat offender, appearing in four different episodes as the bad guy.
-- posted by Jon Delfin
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