TV Barn's TV Picks for May 15

RIGHT KNITTER
Which sitcom coined/popularized the maxim "All the good ones are taken!"?

A) "Alice"
B) "All in the Family"
C) "Barney Miller"
D) "The Brady Bunch"
E) "The Mary Tyler Moore Show"

[Is the right answer taken? It's not like it really matters to us. But we insert the correct answer at the bottom of the column to hold your attention. If the column were actually sponsored, this would make sense.]

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TV Barn's TV Picks for Tuesday, May 15, 2007
by Tom Heald with Jon Delfin
All times Eastern
For PBS programs, check local listings




8 p.m.
Songs about children dying, soldiers dying, children serving as the moral compasses of their parents and binge drinking are all nominated at "The 42nd Annual Academy of Country Music Awards" (CBS).

EVERY TIME YOU HEAD TOWARD THE EGRESS
Stars Hollow throws an astronomical and/or gastronomical graduation party on "Gilmore Girls Going Out of Business Sale" (CW).

The "Dateline" (NBC) wheel of true crime clichés lands on ... Nurse = Angel of Death.

Jughead, Blossom and one of the missing Winans sisters perform on "American Idol" (Fox).

MEANWHILE, YOU COULD BE WATCHING ...
Merle Oberon, Laurence Olivier and David Niven in "Wuthering Heights" (TCM)

"The Most Extreme" (Animal Planet)

9 p.m.
"Veronica Mars" (CW) takes her private-investigator exam. But will the CW graduate her?

"Frontline" (PBS) goes a-"Spying on the Home Front" with the N.S.A. (unless they wind up with a one-hour test pattern).

"House" (Fox) proves that playing chess causes liver and kidney failure. Unless it's just lupus.

PETE REPEAT
If you didn't know that "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" (NBC) aired at 10 on Monday, then this replay in its regular time slot is New to You.

"Dancing With the Stars: Results, Slow" (ABC)
"Big Ideas for a Small Planet" (Sundance)
"Deadliest Catch" (Discovery): "New Beginnings"
"The Contender Challenge: UK vs. USA" (ESPN)
"Dog the Bounty Hunter" (A&E)

9:30 p.m.
"Scarred" (MTV)

10 p.m.
A "Boston Legal" (ABC) wedding goes ... par for the course when the priest is arrested for harboring illegal immigrants. Oh, so that's what's under the cape.

Cambodian refugees face deportation from Seattle on "Independent Lens" (PBS), unless Immigration orders a half-decaf grande, four shots, sugar-free vanilla, soy, light, chocolate white mocha alternative.

The good news is the victim's death on "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" (NBC) was recorded on tape. The bad news is he was supposed to be pretending to fight ... like on "ECW" (Sci Fi).

MEANWHILE, YOU COULD BE WATCHING ...
Laurence Olivier stars and directs Jean Simmons (not the one from KISS) in "Hamlet" (TMC).

Those darn Armenians strike a deal on "The Shield" (FX). And we all know what that means.

"The Fugitive" (MSNBC), no relation to the David Janssen or Harrison Ford projects.

EVERY TIME YOU GO AWAY FROM THE SECTION FOR WHICH WE DON'T CARE ENOUGH TO PROVIDE SARCASM
"Driving Force" (A&E)

"Mission Ops" (Discovery Times)
"The Big Gay Sketch Show" (Logo)
"Bullrun" (Spike): "Run for the Border"
"Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Inferno 3" (MTV; also 10:30)
"Work Out" (Bravo): "Watch What Happens Reunion"
"Secret Lives of Women" (WE): "Munchausen Moms"

10:30 p.m.
"Throwdown With Bobby Flay" (Food)

11 p.m.
"Ballers" (BET)
"BodogFight" (ION)

12:30 a.m.
"Shin Chan" (Cartoon)


ALL TALK
* Rose: Jeremy Paxman
* Tim Russert meets "The Daily Show."
* David Alan Grier and Bob Abernethy make everything up and their points don't matter to Tavis.
* Walter Isaacson makes time for Stephen.
* Don Rickles, Michael Imperioli, Wilco and Top Ten list reader Masi Oka think Dave is a a hard black disk of vulcanized rubber used in a winter sport.
* Orlando Bloom, nine-year-old actress Maria Lark ("Medium") and Gym Class Heroes buy a pirated copy of "The Tonight Show."
* The Santa Monica Big Blue Bus picks up Paula Abdul, Flavor Flav and Feist for Jimmy.
* Tom Selleck, Jenna Fischer and Dan Mintz drop by Conan's office. 
* Cheri Oteri, Malachy McCourt and Ruben Paul play pee wee league ball with Craig.
* Dave Foley and Ying Yang Twins have news for Carson.


PUT THEM ON DA' GLASS
Known as "Harris's Lament," it came from Ron Glass' character Ron Harris on C) "Barney Miller," bemoaning the lack of good NYC apartments.

-- posted by Jon Delfin