TV Barn's TV Picks for May 16

THE LESS TALENTED BROTHER
The pilot episode of "According to Jim" dealt with which high-concept plot?

A) a pet goldfish dying
B) taking a child to school
C) forgetting Mrs. Jim's anniversary
D) not returning a neighbor's tools
E) hiring a babysitter

[To everyone who answers correctly, a lifetime supply of guilt for having watched "According to Jim." Find out just how lucky you are or aren't at the bottom of the column.]

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TV Barn's TV Picks for Wednesday, May 16, 2007
by Tom Heald with Jon Delfin
All times Eastern
For PBS programs, check local listings




7 p.m.
I LOVE A MYSTERY
"My Kid's A ..." (TLC)

8 p.m.
EVERY TIME YOU GO AWAY
* Daddy Dearest returns to jump "Bones" (Fox).
* "Thank God Wendie Malick, Bill Bellamy, Eddie Kaye Thomas and Wayne Knight Are Here" (NBC)
* Celebrating your birthday is a cheap and easy plot device, "According to Jim" (ABC).
* Meet "America's Eighth Top Model" (CW). You know, the one with the goofy name.

Gwen Stefani visits Glasgow for an "Irish Escape" on "Secrets of the Dead" (PBS). [Once again, that's tomalhe@gmail.com. I thank you. /jd]

TCM says "Bienvenue à Cannes" as the festival turns soixante.

Bob Barker hosts his last "The Price Is Right Million Dollar Spectacular" (CBS). Tip: Do not bid $1.

HEY KIDS, FREE S*FT-C*RE P*RN!
"Anna Nicole Smith: A Centerfold Revisited" (MyNetworkTV)

"Emeril Live" (Food): "Starting Strong"
"Hazard Pay" (Discovery): "Horse Jockey"
"How Not to Decorate" (BBC America)

8:30 p.m.
"Notes From the Underbelly" (ABC; see also 9:30) comes out of the closet with the news that the couple will need a crib.

"Access Granted" (BET; also 9): 50 Cent & T.I.

9 p.m.
Lucas is haunted by his past on "One Tree Hill" (CW).

EVERY TIME YOU GO AWAY
* Gideon attempts to catch his nemesis on "Criminal Minds" (CBS). This can't end well. Oh wait, never mind, the show's already been renewed.
* We have a message ... "Crossing Jordan" (NBC) crashed down in the mountains across the Norwegian Sea. It spun in. There are no survivors.

Jordin leaves "American Idol" (Fox).

"Rogue Nature" (Animal Planet): "Grizzlies"
"Britney Spears: A Pop Idol Exposed" (MyNetworkTV)
"Dinner Impossible" (Food; also 10:30): "A Hollywood Ambush: Premiere Impossible"
"Modern Marvels" (History; also 10): "'60s Tech" & "It Came From Outer Space"
"Perfect Housewives" (BBC America)
"Inside Brookhaven Obesity Clinic" (TLC)
"World Poker Tour" (Travel)

9:30 p.m.
EVERY TIME YOU GO AWAY
Celebrating your birthday is a cheap and easy plot device, "Notes From the Underbelly" (ABC). Shoot, this worked much better with the title "According to Jim."

10 p.m.
EVERY TIME YOU GO AWAY
* "Medium's" (NBC) powers are revealed to the public. Great, now she has to find someone else to wear a Peter Parker mask or the Spider-Man outfit to fool everyone.
* The vaults are opened on "CSI: NY" (CBS) and nobody's particularly happy about that.
* "The Real World: Denver" (MTV)

Jack prepares to rid the island of the Others on "Lost" (ABC), while Sayid finds a fatal flaw in their organization.

"Shear Genius" (Bravo) "malls" shoppers.

"Hustle" (AMC)

10:30 p.m.
EVERY TIME YOU STAY AWAY
Alan's wife hopes to spring him from the "Halfway Home" (Comedy Central) with a high powered (equally high dolllar) attorney.

"Dinner: Impossible" (Food): "Boot Camp: Military Base Impossible"

11 p.m.
Comedy hour on Starz!: "Head Case," "Martin Lawrence Presents 1st Amendment Stand-Up" (11:15), "Bronx Bunny" (11:45)

midnight
"Monkey Dust" (Sundance)

12:30 a.m.
"Shin Chan" (Cartoon)


SLEEP WITH ME
* Rose: Developments and future applications of stem-cell research with Paul Nurse, George Daley, Doug Melton, Larry Goldstein and Story Landis
* Don Rickles fills in for Dick Cheney on "The Daily Show."
* Lily Allen and Walter Isaacson make time for Tavis.
* Howard Dean screams with joy on "The Colbert Report."
* Ricky Gervais, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Mavis Staples and Top Ten list reader Bob Barker make orange juice popsicles using Dixie(tm) cup and toothpicks for Dave.
* Ricki Lake, baker Marjorie Johnson and Gretchen Wilson think Jay is a fruitcake.
* Sarah Silverman, Jerry Ferrara and Avril Lavigne skate by on their charm toward Jimmy.
* Rebecca Romijn, Donald Faison and Silversun Pickups enchant Conan with their mystique.
* Bob Barker, Elizabeth Banks and Modest Mouse play Plinko (TM) with Craig.
* Joss Stone gathers no moss at "Last Call."


RESTRAINING ORDER
The first Emmy-watching episode of the series involved B) taking a child to school.

-- posted by Jon Delfin