SINGIN' THE BLUES WHEN THE RED SOX LOSE, IT'S A CRISIS IN YOUR LIFE
Gary Portnoy, noted alumnus of the Forest Road School who is most famous for the "Cheers" theme, was also responsible for which other show's opening number?
A) "Family Ties"
B) "It's a Living"
C) "Jennifer Slept Here"
D) "Mr. Belvedere"
E) "Punky Brewster"
[Be glad there's one place in the world, where the correct answer can be found. The bottom of the column knows its name.]
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TV Barn's TV Picks for Friday through Sunday, June 15-17, 2007
by Tom Heald with Jon Delfin
All times Eastern
For PBS programs, check local listings
FRIDAY
6:30 p.m.
"Our Generation" (History): "Fly With Me"
7 p.m.
"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends" (Cartoon)
"The Planet's Funniest Animals" (Animal Planet)
7:30 p.m.
"Take Home Chef" (TLC)
8 p.m.
Bob Barker hosts his final edition of "The Price Is Right" (CBS; repeat from this morning). And on Monday he will be replaced by Katie Couric.
"Stargate SG-1" (Sci Fi) sets up a Rube Goldberg device to capture Adria, who's got other problems at work.
FREE SAMPLES
"Kyle XY" (ABC) discovers Kylie XX. It's a match made in a room with too much Old Milwaukee.
"Disney Channel Games Opening Ceremonies" (Disney)
"Edge of Existence" (Discovery): Bolivia
"Extreme Weddings" (TLC)
"Mystery Diagnosis: Babies Special" (Discovery Health)
"WWE Friday Night SmackDown!" (CW): "Eeeee!"
8:30 p.m.
"It's Me or the Dog" (Animal Planet)
"NOW" (PBS)
9 p.m.
"Standoff" (Fox) tries to get the trains to run on time. Some bank robbers have yet to get their tickets punched, however.
G - ARE YOU STILL ON?
Dyslexics complain the numbers are all in order on their cards on "National Bingo Night" (ABC).
Susan Lucci blah blah blah "The 34th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards" (CBS; preshow at 7 on SOAPnet).
It's madness when "Stargate Atlantis" (Sci Fi) searches for missing persons in a flock of seagulls.
"Bill Moyers Journal" (PBS)
"Gil Mayo Mysteries" (BBC America)
"Best Week Ever" (VH1)
"Man vs. Wild" (Discovery): "Everglades"
"Fashion Fanatic" (TLC): "Wedding Attire"
"Dr. G: Medical Examiner" (Discovery Health)
9:30 p.m.
"Wife, Mom, Bounty Hunter" (WE)
10 p.m.
"Painkiller Jane" (Sci Fi) helps Connor clear his name in a case of arson and a murder that Dr. Kimble did not commit.
Suntan oil: cruel hoax or deadly menace? Find out on "20/20" (ABC).
"The Soup" (E!)
"Mind Your Manners" (TLC)
"Prankville" (CMT)
"Animal Precinct" (Animal Planet)
"Intervention" (A&E): Crack, Heroin, Deep Woods Off!
10:30 p.m.
"Bandits vs. Smokies" (CMT)
"The Funniest of Chelsea Handler" (E!)
11 p.m.
"Born Country" (CMT)
11:30 p.m.
"Basilisk" (IFC)
THE INTRO
* Rose: Henry Kissinger, Zbigniew Brzezinski, Brent Scowcroft, Princess Anne on sousaphone
* Henry Rollins welcomes Iraq War Veterans and Bob Mould, and say hello to big John Wayne, on xylophone.
* Khaled Hosseini and Toby Keith shock Tavis. And representing the flower people, Quasimodo on bells.
* Dave's tongue is depressed by Michael Moore and Bill Burr. And looking very relaxed, Adolf Hitler on vibes. Nice!
* Bill Cosby, mammoth-tooth discoverers Charlie Gilpin & Bryant Ashton and Avril Lavigne don't sweat the small stuff with Jay. Introducing Liberace, clarinet with Garner "Ted" Armstrong on vocals.
* Nicole Richie, Jeff Ross and Mr. Phil and Son will always have Paris with Jimmy. And Roy Rogers on Trigger.
* Jessica Alba, Bear Grylls and Paul F. Tompkins are fantastic with Conan. Digging General de Gaulle on accordion. Rather wild, General! Thank you, sir.
* Seth Green, Bob Barker and Henry Cho price themselves affordably for Craig. Over there, Eric Clapton, ukulele. Hi, Eric!
* Dr. Drew Pinsky and Satellite Party drop by for "Last Call," with the Count Basie Orchestra on triangle.
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SATURDAY
6 p.m.
"The E! True Hollywood Story" (E!): Steven & Liv Tyler
"Divine Canine: With the Monks of New Skete" (Animal Planet)
7 p.m.
"Animal Planet Dog Championships" (Animal Planet)
"5 Takes Latin America" (Travel): Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
7:15 p.m.
"The Music in Me: A Family Special" (HBO)
8 p.m.
"The 50 Funniest Women Alive" (Oxygen)
"Cops" (Fox)
"Cory in the House" (Disney)
"Emeril Live" (Food): "Surf & Turf"
"Glamour's 20 Weddings Dos & Don'ts" (Style)
"American Gangster" (Discovery Times)
"The 50 Greatest Game Shows of All Time" (GSN): 15-13
8:30 p.m.
"Kappa Mikey" (Nicktoons)
9 p.m.
Paul McCartney, David Crosby, Michelle Phillips, Pete Townshend, Grace Slick, Bob Weir, Mickey Dolenz, Ravi Shankar, Clive Davis, Jann Wenner and Paul Kantner emote on the "Monterey 40" (VH1 & VH1 Classic).
"Hex" (BBC America)
"Giada in Paradise: Santorini" (Food)
"America's Most Wanted" (Fox)
"Flip This House" (A&E)
"The Real Estate Pros" (TLC)
9:30 p.m.
Boxing: Paul Malignaggi vs. Lovemore N'Dou (HBO)
10 p.m.
"The Graham Norton Show" (BBC America) nips and/or tucks Joan Rivers and Julian McMahon.
"Confessions of a Matchmaker" (A&E; premiere, also 10:30)
"The States" (History): Michigan, Tennessee, Maine, Missouri, South Dakota
"Backyard Nation" (TLC)
"Girls of ... Enron" (Playboy)
10:35 p.m.
Jim J. Bullock, Tim Curry and Conan O'Brien star in "Queer Duck: The Movie" (Showtime). "Queer Duck, he's intellectual. Queer Duck, he's homosexual. Please don't think that he's perverse, he's the patient's favorite male nurse. He's okay, he's just fey, cause he's openly gay. He's a truly queer, queer duck. Queer Duck!"
12:30 a.m.
"Cathouse Season Two" (HBO)
SKETCHED COMEDY on Cartoon Network
"Naruto" (9 p.m.), "Fantastic Four" (9:30), "Bobobo-bo Bo-Bobo" (10), "One Piece" (10:30), "Bleach" (midnight), "Blood Plus" (12:30 a.m.)
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SUNDAY
3 p.m.
"Animal Icons" (Animal Planet): "Hollywood's Top Dogs"
7 p.m.
"Dateline" (NBC) presents: U.S. military prisons in Iraq, Steve Carell, stalkers and the Vietnamese-American community in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Uh, are we playing "One of These Things Is Not Like the Others" from "Sesame Street"?
Andy Rooney checks himself for ticks on "60 Minutes" (CBS).
"Wild Kingdom" (Animal Planet)
8 p.m.
"Live Free or Die Hard" director Len Wiseman gives advice on "Life After Film School" (FMC).
LIFE SUPERSEDES ART
Flash-forward as "The Trial of Tony Blair" (BBC America) reveals what "the PM" plans to do after leaving office ... in 2010.
"Reckless Behavior: Caught on Tape" (Lifetime)
"Titanic: Achilles Heel" (History)
"Fast Cars & Superstars: The Gillette Young Guns Celebrity Race" (ABC)
"Kim Possible" (Disney)
"Dance From the Hood" (MTV)
8:30 p.m.
Darcy's idea could lift her out of the-hell-that-is-reserved-for-secretaries ... were it not for a doodle and Sully on "The Loop" (Fox; see also 9:30).
"Nick News Special Edition" (Nickelodeon): "Teachers Talk Back"
9 p.m.
"The 4400" (USA) returns, just in time for all the heroes to gather so that the Japanese technician, the politician and the indestructible cheerleader can save the world.
A young woman turns up dead without the proper clearance at an army base on "Foyle's War, Series IV: Invasion" ("Mystery!," PBS).
"John From Cincinnati" (HBO; new regular time) hangs ten as the fate of the hotel is decided.
"Building the Future" (Discovery; also 10)
"Alan McGee: The Man Who Discovered Oasis" (Ovation) (Ovation?!)
"Time" (Discovery Science; also 10)
"Celebrity Fit Club: Men vs. Women" (VH1)
"Gene Simmons Family Jewels" (A&E): "British Invasion"
"The Next Food Network Star" (Food): "NBA Chocolate Challenge"
"Bridezillas" (WE; season premiere)
"World of Playboy" (Playboy): Miss July Tiffany Selby
9:30 p.m.
The bird is the word as Sam races to get a birthday gift for the boss while in "The Loop" (Fox).
"The Thick of It" (BBC America)
10 p.m.
BACK SO SOON?
Sure, but what they really want to do on "Entourage: Season 4" (HBO) is direct.
TELE-GEBRA
"The Riches" x "The Sopranos" + "Runaway" = "Meadowlands" (Showtime)
Johnny tries to prevent "till death" at a wedding in "The Dead Zone" (USA; season premiere).
"Army Wives" (Lifetime) may head to the war front themselves.
"Robot Chicken: Star Wars" (Cartoon; repeats at 11, midnight, 1 a.m. and through the night)
"Ice Road Truckers" (History)
"The Simple Life Goes to Camp" (E!): "Showstoppers"
"Meet the Faith" (BET): "Kids Who Kill"
"Daniel Tosh: Completely Serious" (Comedy Central)
"The 1/2 Hour News Hour" (FNC, a.k.a. Non-Comedy)
"Best Ranger 2007" (Military)
"Platinum Weddings" (WE; season premiere, also 10:30)
"Charles & William: Royal Rivals?" (BBC America)
10:30 p.m.
TELE-GEBRA
"Tenacious D" x "Crocodile Dundee" = "Flight of the Conchords" (HBO)
"Sunset Tan" (E!) holds a beauty contest.
"Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School: Clip Show" (VH1)
10:55 p.m.
"Minuscule" (Disney)
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MONDAY NEWS IN BRIEF
ABC: "Ex-Wives Club"
CBS: "Creature Comforts"
Fox: "Hell's Kitchen"
NBC: "Deal or No Deal" (season finale), "Age of Love" (premiere), "Dateline NBC: William and Harry interview"
PBS: "Simon Schama's Power of Art"
TNT: "The Closer" (season premiere), "Heartland" (premiere)
ABC Family: "Kyle XY"
HBO: "Big Love"
Stewart: Steve Carell
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EVERY TIME YOU TURN AROUND / NEVER MATTERED BEFORE
Portnoy cowrote both the themes for D) "Mr. Belvedere" and E) "Punky Brewster." While Portnoy himself got "Punk(y)'d," the "Mr. Belvedere" theme was performed by the incomparable Leon Redbone.
-- posted by Jon Delfin
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