Fall TV: The pre-premiere week shows

For as long as I've been covering fall TV premieres, there have been shows eager to jump the gun. This year is no exception, with numerous late-summer debuts ahead of the networks' premiere week that begins Sept. 22. My fall TV preview won't appear until next week. So to tide you over until then, here are previews of programs that will be debuting before that date.

"The Locator" (8 p.m. CT Saturday, WE) Troy Dunn arranges stagey, emotional reunions between long-lost family members. He's been a huge hit on British TV and now works his magic in this reality series for cable. There's no doubt the show packs a punch -- but Saturday's episode left me feeling manipulated afterward.

"Hole in the Wall" (7 p.m. CT Sunday, Fox). It's an axiom of television that if one network has a hit reality show, it's only a matter of time before Fox comes up with an imitation. Thus, following in the slipstream of ABC's hit "Wipeout" comes "Hole in the Wall," which like "Wipeout" is an American version of a Japanese game show. This one involves teammates trying to push themselves through a -- well, you know -- and water is involved.

"True Blood" (8 p.m. CT Sunday, HBO). What if vampires could go to the nearby QuikTrip and buy synthetic blood instead of having to get it the socially unacceptable way? Wouldn't that end all discrimination against these undead beings and allow them to become respectable members of society? That's the premise of this clever romantic drama set in Louisiana, starring Anna Paquin and produced by the creator of "Six Feet Under." I'm not entirely sold on the show, however, as you'll read in my review this Sunday in A+E.

"Judge Karen" (3 and 3:30 p.m. CT weekdays on KSMO starting Monday). A sassy, down-to-earth cross between Queen Latifah and Dr. Phil in a burgundy robe presides over this newest daytime court show. Litigants will be allowed to cross-examine witnesses, but trying to talk to your opponent will earn you a stern rebuke of "Stay in your lane!" Also debuting Monday in syndication is the daily "Deal or No Deal," with 22 briefcases instead of 26 and a top prize of half a mil (4 p.m. CT, KSHB).

"Raising the Bar" (9 p.m. CT Mondays on TNT; debuted Sept. 1). Is this the end of the line for Steven Bochco? The producer who virtually created the modern cop drama ("Hill Street Blues") and racy lawyer drama ("L.A. Law") veers into a ditch with this courtroom farce. Jane Kaczmarek ("Malcolm's" mom) stars as a female judge in her 40s who's subject to wild mood swings and is having sex with her clerk -- that combined with Kaczmarek's typical over-the-top delivery makes this an early nominee for the worst new TV character of the season.

"Fringe" (7 p.m. CT Tuesday, Fox). Don't miss the first three minutes of this conspiracy-horror series, which stars "Dawson Creek's" Joshua Jackson and John Noble as investigators into bizarre happenings like the unleashing of a flesh-eating virus on steroids and the sudden appearance of a missing boy halfway around the world. From "Lost" creator J.J. Abrams.

"90210" (7 p.m. CT Tuesdays on CW; debuted "9/02"). At press time, review copies weren't available of the pilot episode of this show. Which means I have no idea if it's a clever updating of the 1990s' signature teen soap from two of the guys who worked on "Freaks and Geeks" ... or if it's just an overwrought mess that shares nothing with version 1.0 except Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty.

"Privileged" (8 p.m. CT Tuesday, CW). Right after "90210," don't stay tuned for this show about a college grad (JoAnna Garcia) who agrees to serve as live-in tutor to spoiled teens in West Palm Beach. She tries to teach them Gatsby but all they want to do is party at their outsized mansion. If only the irony weren't completely wasted on the people responsible for this paint-by-numbers show.

"Do Not Disturb" (8:30 p.m. CT Tuesday, Fox). Niecy Nash and Jerry O'Connell star in this sitcom about a dysfunctional hotel where the entire staff is hateful. I thought Maureen Ryan of the Chicago Tribune summed it up pretty well when she texted me that "it made my soul vomit."

Comments

[Bill G]

I figured Do Not Disturb was most likely to die an early death just because it followed the Black Hole that is 'Til Death, but that Maureen Ryan quote is priceless. ;)

[trish]

I enjoyed raising the bar. Thanks for the negative review...but, i think i'll watch anyway.

[kmb]

Stupid Fox took off "Happy Hour" and kept on "'Til Death" - why? I figured it was 'cause they're paying Raymond's brother a big salary, along with whoever's playing his wife.

The phrase "quality television" has been an oxymoron for decades, at least when it comes to sitcoms. So very few are left which engage the brain at all - and CBS seems to have filled Monday night with them. (No, NOT "Christine" - ugh, ugh, ugh - but the three preceding it: what we at my house call "the geek show," then "How I Met Your Mother," then "Two and a Half Men.")

A sitcom is only funny when you DON'T know what line will be said next. ("House of Payne" comes close, but still has too much mugging a la Cosby's worst.)

[Mark Jeffries]

Also, "Happy Hour" was only funny when Beth Lacke was on camera. (And where the hell is she now? If you're not getting work, Beth, come back to Chicago--we miss you!)