Kaboom! How much would you pay for 7 reality shows in 5 nights?

Billy Mays, the one-man sales force with the blue shirt, jet-black hair and golden lungs, can be seen around the clock on one cable channel or another, urgently selling America more Oxy Clean, Mighty Putty, HandySwitches, Kaboom and other products too numerous to recount without getting a headache from all the shouting.

Along with his business partner Anthony "Sully" Sullivan, Mays has become synonymous with a form of retailing that sees wrinkled shirts, unwaxed cars and boring hamburgers as a cry for help from the American consumer, an S.O.S. to which he and his fantastic products are the first responders.

Mays and Sullivan agreed to let cameras follow them around as they listened to inventors pitch them new products, and they recorded new commercials. The result, "Pitchmen," a 13-part documentary series, airs at 9 p.m. Wednesdays on Discovery.

It’s making its debut in the thick of a busy week for reality TV. In fact, there’s something new and notable almost every night. Before we get to that, though, I had a chance to speak by phone with Mays as he drove into New York for a round of talk-show appearances.

So, Billy, what do you look for?

"We look for the products that are demonstrable -- it’s a very simple checklist we go down. Does it solve a common problem? Does it have mass appeal? ... Does it have that wow factor? Is it easy to use?"

That’s interesting. Now I’d like --

"All these products we do, they all have those five categories that I just listed. I think that’s important. If you didn’t have a big market out there for a product, your numbers would come down. Let’s just say you have something for a baby between the ages of 2 and 3 ..."

Um, listen, I have to get to these other reality shows before I run out of space. Could we -- ?

"Sully and myself, we’ve never taken a dime from somebody just to shoot their product. Forget about the money! If we like the product, we’ll pay to become partners with you and take it to the next level ..."

OK, Billy, I’m just putting you on hold for a minute, all right? I’ll get back to you as soon as I mention these other shows:

"Brave New Voices," 10 p.m. Sundays, HBO. A series about future "Def Poetry Jam" contestants, this chronicle of a teen poetry slam in NYC is marred by a self-serving tone and the editors’ annoying habit of talking over the poetry.

"College Life," 9:30 p.m. Mondays, MTV. Four freshmen at the University of Wisconsin-Madison chronicle their experiences with handheld cameras. They’re a diverse bunch (one of them even doesn’t like football), and they’re clearly not afraid to put anything on camera.

With shows like this, it’s all in the editing, and MTV’s editors have even shorter attention spans than I do, which keeps "College Life" at a lively tempo.

"Deadliest Catch," 8 p.m. Tuesdays, Discovery. Cable’s hit show about deep-sea fishermen launches its fifth season, filmed during the 2008 king crab season. It was a season that lived up to the show’s title, as a 93-foot vessel sank, taking its men down with it.

"The Cougar," 9 p.m. Wednesdays, TV Land. Nature photographers capture the grandeur of the wild’s ... nah, just kidding, it’s a new dating show in which a woman my age looks for a boyfriend your kid’s age. Special bonus feature: Twins compete for Stacey’s affection.

"Around the World for Free," 8 p.m. Thursdays, WGN. Alex Boylan, who won "The Amazing Race" way back when, and his cameraman somehow bummed their way 41,000 miles across the globe with the help of strangers.

This week’s premiere makes it looks like nonstop fun-and-games, as Boylan mooches plane and train trips. But in a couple of weeks, he’ll hit South America and take the bus ride from hell over the Andes.

Oh, and there’s a new "Mythbusters" at 8 p.m. Wednesday that’s themed to Discovery’s "Alaska Week," just before "The Pitchmen."

Wait, that reminds me -- I left Billy Mays on hold!

"... I’ve been doing this for 11 years. Now that we’re being recorded, the stakes have never been higher. Everything is now being documented, which ups the stakes. It’s not that I’ve ever done my job any less, it’s that more pressure is being put on me."

OK, OK, you’ve sold me! "The Pitchmen," 9 p.m. Wednesdays on Discovery.