As of Tuesday morning this week, the official website for Jon and Kate Gosselin still greets visitors with these words on the home page written by Kate: "It all started when Jon and I met October 5, 1997 at a picnic. I never believed in 'love at first sight,' but ..."
Well, those words may eventually come down, but don't bet on it. After all, the show must go on, because the house built for the kids must be paid for by the books (which are about the kids) and the DVDs (which are also about the kids) and the TV show, which Jon and Kate, even during Monday's pathetic breaking-up episode, kept insisting was all about the kids.
I guess I missed the episode where the kids asked for an unsustainably huge McMansion with television lighting built in.
But at least you, the viewer, have a choice this summer! Here are some other new summer reality shows worth checking out, even if just for a drive-by to see how many people are out there trying to become America's next tabloid wreck.
Remember, all times are Central.
"Tattoo Highway" (9 p.m. Wednesday, A&E) is a spinoff that works better than the original. Mostly it's a story about tattoo artist Thomas Pendleton, seen on the A&E series "Inked," who decides to take his business on the road in a giant bus. Although this dubious premise, which is repeated in the opening credits, has not been explained to my satisfaction, it works for me.
And that's because there's a nice dose of estrogen into this traditionally male bastion of bikes, babes and body altering. Pendleton's wife, Monica, is along for the ride (she's his "business partner," too), and she supplies genuine emotional support you don't see, say, among certain overexposed mothers of eight. Thomas is a genuinely appealing TV character -- he's got a lot of mileage but not too much baggage. He and Monica have overcome substance addictions, a trial that only seems to have strengthened their bond. He has good rapport with his rolling crew of artists. Their idea of "reality" may not agree with yours (a recent episode revolved around Monica's boob job), but unlike other shows I could name, they don't appear to be making up their reality to please TV producers.
"NYC Prep" (9 p.m. Tuesday, Bravo). "Real Housewives" meets "Gossip Girl" in the Bravofication of life for spoiled teenagers on the Upper East Side. This show focuses on five kids who attend tony private high schools and one who goes to a public school and is, therefore, the pitiable one. There is a considerable amount of time spent "eavesdropping" on restaurant and club conversations and trips to the best stores (one of our subjects, 17-year-old Jessie, has had her own assigned personal shopper at Barneys since she was 13).
The "Gossip Girl" comparisons get to be a bit much. Someone even says, "You guys are the real Gossip!", presumably to help along the more slow-witted viewers. The producers have tried awfully hard to cast a callow dude named Sebastian as the show's bed-hopping eyebrow villain, a la Chuck on "Gossip." Jessie and her ex-boyfriend PC (pictured) show up in a Facebook group conveniently dedicated to dish all about characters on the show. And so on.
It's clear that there is more going on here than trying to create yet another voyeuristic, wish-fulfillment reality series here. Bravo is trying to mint its own version of "The Hills," with easily replicable cardboard characters who could be spun off into side series of their own ("The PC Show" seems inevitable). From watching last week's first episode, though, I haven't seen any couple that remotely resembles Speidi. We should be grateful for small blessings.
"Dance Your Ass Off" (9 p.m. Monday, Oxygen). Brilliant! Someone finally thought to combine ABC's most popular reality series, "Dancing with the Stars," with NBC's most popular show period, "The Biggest Loser." The result is a competition series that's heartwarming, myth-shattering and a kick to watch.
Marissa Jaret Winokur (the plus-sized heroine of Broadway's "Hairspray") is the charming host and there is the usual three-judge panel. But it's the contestants who steal the show early and often with their dance moves -- not what I was expecting from a crew made up of the morbidly obese. One 300-pound contestant looks positively light on his feet during the opening round. The judges grade them on a curve that takes into account both their weight and previous dance experience. As the show goes on, those differences will evaporate, along with the pounds. This is one show where I can't wait to see the finale.
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