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November 05, 2007

The all-powerful grout

Wednesday’s paper was full of startling revelations, but perhaps the most amazing was the surprise about the true nature of grout.

On Page One, I found the opening paragraphs of a story which revealed that Mosul Dam in Iraq has been held together for decades — as it bottled up some 3 trillion gallons of water and preserved as many as 500,000 Iraqis from death by drowning — by more than 50,000 tons of grout (10/30, A-1, “Mosul Dam crumbling, U.S. warns of calamity”).

On Page 2, I discovered a new medium for presidential sculptures: grout (“The Buzz”).

Is there no end to the wondrous things one can do with this mighty substance?

I have been told that duct tape was like “The Force,” since it has a dark side and a light side and it binds the universe together. But after reading Wednesday’s paper, I have become convinced that the true cosmic power that binds the universe together must actually be grout.

Jan S. Gephardt


Stifled Freedom

Is Jan a grout salesman?

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