Angela Wilburn, the wife of an Ozarks Minutemen founder (this bit of trivia will come in handy later), apparently shot herself in the knee while investigating noises outside her home. Embarrassing enough, right? Not for Angela; she decided to take the humiliation to a whole new level (12/22, Across Missouri, “Shooting story called a lie”).
I wanted to see how difficult it would be for a non-xenophobe to create the tall tale that Angela told the police. My daughter has won a few awards for her bizarre fiction. I laid out the story to this point and begged her to come up with the most heinous, ludicrous story she could imagine that the wife of a Minutemen founder might create. All she came up with was a lame tale involving attempted rape by a Hispanic man.
Mrs. Wilburn, bless her heart, told police that three Hispanic men had raped and shot her. No attempted rape, and three bad guys. Mrs. Wilburn wins the creative story telling competition, racist division.
If she had just watched a couple of episodes of “CSI,” she would have known that one need not be a forensic genius to shoot a hole through her (knee) story.