Lesson in loss of son

I buried my 43-year-old son this month. A fall on the ice causing a hematoma on the brain was the main cause. I have concerns about the care my son received but I left the decisions to the professionals. Now I wish I had spoken up and demanded a referral to a specialist or a second opinion. That’s my advice to others who face major medical decisions. As you can see by this letter, I feel partly at fault for his demise.

On another occasion my great granddaughter was ill with flu-like symptoms but was sent home by doctors several times until I intervened. The last time we took her to the clinic, the doctor dismissed the symptoms as cutting teeth, a cold or some other cause. Because of my intervention, the doctor sent us to Children’s Mercy Hospital where she was correctly diagnosed with a blood disease. She was treated and came home good as ever in a couple days.

Don’t second guess the doctors but be empathic on proper treatment in time to prevent progression of a problem. Go to a specialist, or at least get a referral when necessary. Procrastination may be the biggest killer of all.

Paul W. Meyn Sr.
Overland Park

Comments

[solomon]

Engineer,

Tragedy bonds us all.

[Engineer]

solomon
Sorry to be so late getting to it, but my condolences on your loss. From personal experience I know hoe devastating the loss of a child can be. I also understand the feeling of guilt. If only I had......

[CRD]

Silly post, NMMNG. Currently, you can get all the second opinions you can pay for. If you can't pay for it, you're probably screwed.

Broadening the coverage so that more people have basic access to healthcare won't change the fact that, for folks with the means, you'll still be able to get all the second opinions you can pay for.

Think: who is restricting access to second opinions/specialists now? That's right, the insurers, who stand to make more money the fewer services they have to pay for. So much for the advantages of your much-vaunted "capitalism"!

[NoMoreMrNiceGuy]

Paul sorry to hear of your loss.
Once we have government run healthcare, many of the choices or second opinions will not be allowed unles The Fuhrer says so.
I agree totally with your statement about getting 2nd opinions or seeking a specialist.

[solomon]

Rogue,

Thank you, and a very good post. There weren't as many overweight kids in our day either, and I blame that on fast food and video games.

[Rogue]

There was an e-mail going around a while back bemoaning how the generation of Solly, Engineer, and yours truly survived our kid years. We drank direct from the garden hose, rode bikes unhelmeted, rode in the back of pick-ups, ate raw hamburger, climbed fifty or sixty feet up in trees, had bb gun fights, etc. and so on. Our parents bought band-aids by the gross. Not a comment on KS concerns, just about how times have changed.

I too am sorry for your loss Sol.

[ksskidude]

My condolences as well.

I speak to young kids, students all over about brain and spinal cord injury prevention. To see a yound person with a catastrophic injury like this is truly heart breaking.
I want to stress to all of you on here who have young children to make them wear their seat-belts, wear their helmets when riding bikes, skateboards, etc..
The leading cause for our children to die prematurely is a car crash, and same goes for TBI's and SCI's. Most occur while in cars.

[solomon]

Thank you Joe Barone.

[Joe Barone]

Solomon and Paul, I'm sure I join virtually everyone who reads these comments in offering my condolences to both of you.

[solomon]

Paul,

My son, a college athelete, a wonderful, strong and beautiful specimen of man passed away from a heart problem that was totally not anticipated. I will live with what you are feeling everyday. I'd like to say your feelings of guilt will go away, but mine are as strong as they were 4 years ago when it happened.