If you think Barbara Shelly’s future flyer has problems (6/6, “‘This is the pilot: That’ll cost you 5 bucks’”), imagine future flyer, economy class, with added security.
To the already long lines, arbitrary charges and other indignities, add worldwide background check, strip and cavity searches, electric stun-gunning or sedating (the unconscious passenger is the only truly trustworthy passenger), destinations stapled to foreheads, passenger boarding and deplaning handled in the same reliable time proven methods used to safely transport our luggage — dumped on a carousel, flopped on a conveyor belt and stacked compactly in an area completely without seats. Seats are only necessary when conscious.
This would certainly allow more people to be jammed on the planes and you could do away with snacks, meals and even those inconvenient bathrooms, after the passengers/luggage were deplaned, the compartment could simply be hosed out.
The airlines could make more money, the skies would be safe from terrorists, and the sheep will arrive safely at their destination ready for slaughter or shearing.