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June 17, 2008

The future of unfriendly flying

If you think Barbara Shelly’s future flyer has problems (6/6, “‘This is the pilot: That’ll cost you 5 bucks’”), imagine future flyer, economy class, with added security.

To the already long lines, arbitrary charges and other indignities, add worldwide background check, strip and cavity searches, electric stun-gunning or sedating (the unconscious passenger is the only truly trustworthy passenger), destinations stapled to foreheads, passenger boarding and deplaning handled in the same reliable time proven methods used to safely transport our luggage — dumped on a carousel, flopped on a conveyor belt and stacked compactly in an area completely without seats. Seats are only necessary when conscious.

This would certainly allow more people to be jammed on the planes and you could do away with snacks, meals and even those inconvenient bathrooms, after the passengers/luggage were deplaned, the compartment could simply be hosed out.

The airlines could make more money, the skies would be safe from terrorists, and the sheep will arrive safely at their destination ready for slaughter or shearing.

Will FitzPatrick
Kansas City



Trains run on Deisel. They are also expensive fares and do not get you to lenghtier destinations same day. Some of us have to be somewhere on business quick not 4 days from now.


Train travel is due for a come back. At least I hope so.


Arbitrary? Maybe you chould fly Socialist Air. Flying is not an entitlement.
Don't like the prices, then don't fly.
I fly quite often and seem to only be annoyed with the wannabe TSA clerks that interogate the little ole lady that MUST be a danger. Other than that, if you don't like the way the operate, don't participate. Air travel is not a mandate.


Will seems to have a warped view of the situation. From what I have read, most airlines have operated at a loss for over five years due to depressed fares. Now, with the largest line-item in their budget dramatically increasing (fuel), they are deciding that they must cut costs in other areas and raise fares in order to keep their heads above water.

We have enjoyed artificially low fares for a long time. That appears to be a thing of the past. If you don't like the price to travel at the real cost of flying, or don't like the reduced services you are provided, vote with your dollars. Use those airlines that are more efficient and pass that savings on to consumers.

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